CRACKS IN THE WALL

 My sweet little yard needs a ton of work.  I have procrastinated and over-thought it to the point of frustration.  If sitting on the couch thinking about it would get it done, I would have the yard of the month.

Once Upon A Time

I Did Have

Yard of the Month

I have allowed myself to become overwhelmed.  It is my own fault.  I know better. Instead of taking one project at a time, I am looking at the big picture.  Wanting to twitch my nose and it be done is living in a fantasy world.  One of the first things I need to do is mend my fence which frames the yard.  At that point, I can then begin to redeem that which has been allowed to become choked with weeds and overgrown.  By replacing the boards and sealing the cracks, I have taken the first step necessary in reclaiming the beauty of the inner court.

Our small group study has a visual of the Temple in Jerusalem.  There is a high wall around the compound.  Within those walls are the Temple and Courtyard.  All is well within the Holy of Holies unless someone or something unintended is allowed to sneak through, over, or around the wall.  Once the intruder has gained access to the inner sanctum, it/he begins to wreck havoc.  Walls are placed there for a purpose.  When we allow our walls to be breached, we are opening ourselves up for attack.

Beth Moore beautifully uses this illustration to remind us of how easily sin can seduce us and sneak in the backdoor of our minds.  We have good intentions, but we are being seduced by the world.  This seduction, over time, might cause a crack to form in the wall.  The next thing you know we are facing an all out attack.  In the beginning,  It happens slowly, seductively, and seemingly innocently.  We have to cast out the sin and plug up the hole it has created--one board at a time or face the consequences of the sin we have allowed to creep in.

Boundaries, such as walls, are such an important tool to keep the evil one at bay.  When David first peeped from the roof and spotted Bathsheba, he was being set up for sin.  Allowing himself to continue gazing upon the beautiful woman and not turning and fleeing created that first crack in the wall.  And this was the man who was after God's own heart.  What about all of us middle of the road Believers?  Do we even stand a chance against Satan?

YES, with God's help we can be victorious against the evil one.  We can keep our walls well tended and mended.  We can prevail--one step at a time.  Look at the end of the book,  GOD IS VICTORIOUS!

"Do not be conformed to this world, 

but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,

 that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, 

what is good and acceptable and perfect."Bou

Romans 12:2

FENCES

 

We have small lots here in the hood. (That is part of the attraction).  Almost every house has a wooden fence enclosing the back yard.  Here is a picture of a little art work I did on my back fence during the pandemic lock down.  I must have been truly bored!  Since our houses are so close, the fences give us some privacy in the backyard.  I have a love - hate relationship with my fence.  I LOVE my backyard and side neighbors - yes, I know I am fortunate.  The neighborhood covenants state the fences have to be a certain height.  I cannot see over the fence and would love to be able to occasionally have an over the fence conversation with my neighbors--on all three sides.  The fence does allow the Wonder Dog to go outside without running away, but he refuses to use his own backyard for a bathroom.  It also keeps various varmints out of the backyard, but the cat who roams all over the neighborhood ignores the boundary by jumping right over.  (This fence cannot possibly be meant for me)  What's that old saying ~

Robert Frost's poetry made this saying famous.  It is referring to the boundaries we need to keep in relationships.  Boundaries establish invisible fences to keep us from being in each other's faces and stepping on sore toes.  It is tricky to learn when enough is enough and when we have crossed the line into over the top in relationships.  I like that adage, a little bit can go a long way.  Especially when we have failed to establish good boundaries. 

Whose fault is it when things become cross ways in a relationship?   The person who went too far or the person who did not have good boundaries which allowed the breach~ who is to blame for a break in good relations?  One thing is certain ~ both parties are going to think it is the other's fault.  Blame shifting and refusing our own culpability is a topic for another day---but believe me--it is epidemic.  How much responsibility do we need to assume when it comes to having healthy relationships?  When do we cross that line from being a good neighbor to morphing into Gladys Kravitz?

 Boundaries are like fences in there are many choices in what those fences/boundaries look like.  Part of that deciding factor might be the other party.  Sometimes we need higher -  stronger fences and others the fence could be a step over.  Unless we are willing to assess the circumstance and establish appropriate boundaries based upon that assessment, we are headed for trouble.  We need a higher fence or larger boundary when we are speaking of Oscar the Grouch than with Bert or Ernie.  

WHERE IN THE WORLD AM I GOING?  The bottom line is we need to have healthy boundaries and we need to enforce those boundaries or pay the cost of broken relationships.  To get along with our fellow man, we have to make the rules and then always play by the rules.  I love how Kenny Rogers stated it

Sometimes we need to fold up our welcome mat and close the door for our own mental health.  We are called to love all mankind, we are not called to allow mankind to use us as a doormat.  Learn to recognize the difference and maintain healthy boundaries.  Build those fences with care and keep them in good repair~

being a good friend is always a two way street.

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."

Luke 10:27

CROSSING BOUNDARIES

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Yesterday's post on climbing fences, led to my friend and shady path owner, Jackie offering me a key to the gate.  I laughed and told her the story would not be nearly as funny if I had a key.  Thank you, Jimmie & Jackie for allowing me access to your shady path and the key offer.  I enjoy getting a laugh from you, dear readers, and I do not for once second mind the laugh coming at my expense.  I do ask that you refrain from trying to catch me climbing that fence with Hero in hand for a photo.  That is taking it a little too far.

NOW for the topic of the day~

We have a couple of counselors who alternate meeting with the ladies at 

once a week.  They are focusing our sessions on dealing with relationships.  In case you did not realize it, relationships can be

SO STICKY, you might believe you have stepped into quick sand or stuck your foot in a cauldron of hot tar.  No matter how you try, you cannot seem to pull yourself away from the mess you have waded off into. Last week we talked about boundaries and how to handle those who insist upon crossing them.  A great example, but simple one was given by one of the ladies concerning someone standing WAY TOO CLOSE in a line in a public forum (grocery store).  This is NOT a good idea during a pandemic.  Getting the space intruder to back up without seeming to attack them is sticky business.  It requires finesse and tact to disarm a potentially explosive situation.

I began to think about the giraffes in the book I just finished West With Giraffes.  Those giraffes have such sweet faces with doe eyes which seem to welcome you into their space.  BIG MISTAKE! if you get too close to those lethal weapons of LONG & STRONG LEGS!  The giraffes will lash out and literally kick you into tomorrow if you cross the boundary and get too close.  You DO NOT want a giraffe kicking you!

The giraffe has generations of being taught to be on the lookout for lions.  A giraffe will make a good meal for a pride of lions.  Giraffes instinctively are fearful and suspicious of lions.  They are constantly on the lookout for a sneak attack  as the  lions nip at their legs trying to take them down.  A giraffe does not know if you are a friend or lion when you approach them.  For the sake of their safety, they immediately lash out with those dangerous kicks  once you get too close and cross the boundary of their safe zone until they are convinced you mean no harm.  By then it could be too late, the damage is done.  It took establishing trust with the giraffes for them to no longer feel threatened by the keepers in the book.

If you watch nature long enough,

it will turn ugly.

WHERE could I possibly be going with this?  Unless you are going on an African safari or plan to take a job as a giraffe keeper at the zoo, what in the world can you do with this information?

There are giraffes all around us in the shape of our fellow humans.  Based upon past experiences, the person in front of you may think you are a lion who is going to attack and try to take them down.  Their defenses go up automatically and they lash out without even knowing if you are friend or a lion.  No one wants to be hurt or harmed, so we learn to be defensive in our responses to others.  Defensiveness often takes on the face of offensiveness--the attacker.   It is a sad commentary on the world, BUT it also is a learning tool for our response to those prickly pears in life.  I always wonder where the attack is coming from when I feel those legs lashing out at me.  Why? is always in the back of my mind.  There is almost always more to a situation than what meets the eye.  SO the lesson to be learned is how to establish and enforce boundaries without it feeling threatening to others.  Important life lessons are being taught at The Well.  Never too late to learn something new!

" My dear brothers and sisters,

take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen,

slow to speak,

and slow to become angry,

because human anger does not produce

the righteousness that God desires."

James 1:19-20