HAY AND STUBBLE

I have been missing in action on social media for the most part since I moved BACK to Fort Worth 11 months ago.  YES, time flies when you are having a good time!  It's a  LONG story and I will not bore you with the details. (I can hear those sighs of THANK GOODNESS!)   While I was busy NOT writing, I was also staying clear, for the most part, of social media.  You might say I "ghosted"  the WWW.  BUT as with most things, it really was not as it appeared--I did not completely leave the social media world.  I was silently checking in-usually once a day.  BUT for the most part I was NOT commenting.  Perhaps the best thing about social media is it keeps us connected with those we hold dear, but seldom see.  

At this moment life has taken on a delectable dull.  I am NOT complaining.  The next whirlwind is literally a stone's throw away and I can see the rotation quickly approaching.  One of life's important lessons is to enjoy the peace when it comes, for it will probably not last long.  Take it when it comes  and relish the peace of the moment.  Someone from my past once explained it in Armed Services terms from the 60's-

"Smoke em if you've got em"

If you need an explanation, please let me know.  My slang expressions are a direct reflection of my age.  Most of the time, especially when talking to anyone younger,  I have to explain exactly what I am saying.  Is is my fault you missed so much?

When I do look at social media, I notice it has morphed into something totally different from the early days.  It seems people like to be communicated with visually as well as audibly these days.  I have been told that the blog is a dying format, and it is  my observation this is true.  It takes a lot of time to sit and write a blog, proof read it, and then add enhancements.  And then there is the issue of attracting an audience (why else would you be publishing or videoing except to get your message out there).  It is not as easy as you would think.  If you have the confidence and ability to produce a good video, this seems to be the way to go today.  Ain't NOBODY got time for a thoughtful discourse that they have NO desire to read.  I do not even have a Tiktok account and am seriously opposed to getting anything else that might require a username and password.  I am already on overload!  I understand there are now visual, fingerprint, and other advanced methods of opening accounts.  Technically I still live in the last century, and all these new-fangled devices are beyond my scope of wanting to even try.  Add to that my deeply introverted personality and life lessons from Momma about when and where it is appropriate to be on the public stage and I have talked myself right out of even thinking about a "live stream."

SO, if I still want a presence on the WWW, if I still have ideas and thoughts I hope to share, it would seem I need to start videoing myself.  For several reasons, I cannot see that EVER happening~

No one wants to hear my redneck twang and it usually shows up if I get on a roll of talking.  There is NO denying it--especially when you have been reminded by loved ones of how you sound.  If I had a beautiful lazy southern drawl, it might be different.  There is a definite difference between Southern Belle and Redneck Drawl.  I have spent the majority of my life in the hills of North Louisiana--close to the Arkansas border.  It left me marked with a twang.  IF I try, I can speak metropolitan---but that takes effort AND why would I want to?

No one wants to see an old woman on social media.  The people I watch on reels are funny (90%) and I have to think about what they even look like.  I am not particularly funny and the older I get the grouchier I become.  My patience has worn thin and NO ONE wants me to get started on a tirade.  Almost everyone I watch seems to be well put together.  No one wants to see me- sans makeup with my comfortable clothes and orthopedic shoes (I have foot issues--so I get a pass).  As you get older, you slowly become more and more invisible.  No one pays much attention to you and I have taken full advantage of this fact.  I dress like I want and spend very little time standing in front of a mirror wondering who the reflection is.   It shows!

No one wants to hear me stutter and stammer while searching for the right words.  I write because I have the most control over what you hear when I can edit it.  I write, I read, I rewrite, I reread, I rearrange, I restate, I check and check before I hit publish.  That is a luxury you do not have on a video.  I watched the documentary recently "Lucy & Desi".  It was fascinating.  One of the things which really struck me was that in the early days of broadcasting Desi did not allow retakes--it was too expensive.  They had to get it right the first time or heads would roll before the next show.  I am not an off the cuff speaker and do not want to appear stupid (sorry I know that is not politically correct).  My thoughts need to be weighed, organized, and proofed before I put them out there.  If I start videoing myself, the followers will abandon ship.  The Titanic will quickly sink to the bottom of the ocean, and someone will recommend remedial public speaking.

SO, Yes, I still have thoughts---but I do not share them very often with anyone these days.  Perhaps I have outlived my "time".  IT is DEFINITELY a new world out there--and I most certainly out of touch.  I lived through the social revolution of the 60's.  In the 60 years since, the world has changed drastically.  Some of the changes are wonderful--others seem to have us careening down the slippery slope.  One of life's lessons has been to keep my mouth shut and let you all come up with your own opinions.  If you wanted my opinion, I am pretty certain you would ask for it.  With that said, I miss my readers and their feedback tremendously.  You are the reason I took pen to paper.  I am so thankful for each of you and the roll you played in making me think.  You are all the motivation I ever needed, but perhaps enough is enough.

  I take each day as it comes these days.  When I become conscious I am still here, early in the predawn hours, I start each day with

"This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and BE GLAD in it."

Psalm 118:24

God is incredibly faithful provider of all things necessary and good.  The rest is all earthly hay and stubble which is here today and gone tomorrow.  All things have an expiration date--the question becomes how to recognize we have passed our "Good By" point.  

 

TUG OF WAR

Recently I stayed with one of the grands while his family camped for the weekend and he was involved in a school related competition (WHOOPEE--he received regional band recognition as a 7th grader! Proud Lulu moment).  While staying at his home, I also had his dog in my care.  Let's just say Rocket is aptly named.  My housemates were also gone for the weekend and I was in charge of their canine also.  I walked LOTS of miles that weekend between the three of them.

One morning I had the brilliant idea to walk the youngest dog in my pack (Rocket) with the oldest dog (Hero).  My good ideas regularly blow up in my face!  Especially this morning.  Our walk strongly resembled this

Rocket is off to the races as soon as we leave the house at day break.  Hero---being the stubborn old man he is--wants to smell the calling cards left by the neighborhood canine friends and is in no hurry.  I am pretty sure one arm might now be longer than the other.  It was a comedy of struggling wills.  I have witnessed many of my neighbors walking more than one dog.  Their walks look like this-

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???

Two dogs----out for a common mission, but with two distinct ideas about the manner in which it should be accomplished.  Instead of settling into the flow and working together it was a struggle from the get go.  We made it back--some of what we needed to happen was accomplished--but there was a startling awareness of a lack of co-operation between the two.  OH THE THINGS WE COULD HAVE DONE IF THEY HAD ONLY COMPROMISED AND WORKED TOGETHER!  Instead we ended up having to take separate walks a short time later to reach our complete goal.

A good lesson in life for any of us when working with others to accomplish like goals.  We have had some frustration with multi-generational living since our move and our expectations of how we accomplish settling in.  I have been alone for a long time and have gotten used to quickly accomplishing my goal of being settled.  My son's family has a two year old to think about.  He requires lots of attention and careful watching which consumes a great deal of their energy.   They also both work.   They have stuff for three people and I only have my things which have been drastically pared down with each move.  We are still not settled, but we are getting closer.  I have learned to lower my expectations, look past my frustrations, and remember it will get accomplished--just not on my timetable.   I have been reminded how God is teaching us the need for patience in the sanctification process.  Our ultimate sanctification will be accomplished on His timetable for His good reasons.  Patience is a virtue.  Patience comes with practice.  God's patience with each of us is abundantly evident in our lives.  A post for another day-  the striking evidence I have seen of His purpose in my move--even when I am extremely frustrated.  ALL IN HIS GOOD TIME!

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

ADULTING - UGH!

Well it has been a month since my last post, and I had to make myself stop to let you know I am still alive.  We ALL know Texans are proud of their state, but once again I have run into the buzz saw of trying to become a 100% resident.  It bears no weight that I am a prestigious "Daughter of the Texas Revolution" by the Gillespie/Phillips linage.  If you dared ever cross the state line and betray your roots, they are slow about letting you back into the fold.

Today I have been "Adulting".  I have put off these nagging  "to do's" to the point of driving me crazy.  SO TODAY--I hit them full speed ahead.  First one out of the block and I hit a brick wall.  ANNOYING!  To get my homestead exemption I have to have a TX Driver's License.  As I have discussed before I cannot get an "appointment" until January to get said license.  For now I am driving a car licensed in the state of TX with a Louisiana Driver's License.  Pity the poor policeman who dares to stop me--He will get an earful about the lack of efficiency in their state government.  You do remember my complaint that you had to produce every piece of official looking proof that you REALLY live in Texas, have insurance, have a TX registered vehicle, were born, and do have a social security number among other unrelated documentation .  Your passport will not do---OBVIOUSLY the state of TX knows more than our federal government about who should get their official forms.  (Maybe there is some truth in that statement)

This month has NOT been easy!  I have been homesick and stressed with trying to get settled.  It has not all been a bed or roses, BUT the daily contact with my grands has made it all worth while.  I have no intention of telling you we are all sitting over here singing "We are Family" 24/7.  I believe in shooting straight arrows and talking without a forked tongue.  The stress runs both ways---we are having to become accustomed to each other and we have not lived together in a long time.  We have differing priorities and things which set off our crazy buttons.  I did get a good laugh when my son told me he was giving his wife an earful of something I had done which did not sit right with him. She told him it sounded a great deal like something he would do.  Those apples and where they fall!

SO--we are surviving.  It is a good thing to be together.  We all still miss our former "homes".  We also think being physically close is important enough to learn to deal with that which might make us a little more crazy.  Multi generational households were once common.  Our American culture has drifted away from this idea.  We have become "Me" focused.  Could there be a lot to learn from living within common walls with more than one generation?  One of the certainties is our patience, flexibility, and tolerance (and I am certain more)  is being stretched.  Family connection is well worth the sacrifice of personal preferences.    Does God use "ALL THINGS"?  I think YES!

SURVIVAL

 I am still alive, but busier than a squirrel in a nut factory (with me being the biggest nut).  Falling into the bed every night from exhaustion and stress has become my norm.  In the grand scheme of things, my woes barely tip the scale of  the woes of mankind.  In my personal world, it is over the top. It is relative!

Today I took my car to have the windshield replaced and recalibrated.  (Miss the good old days of a windshield being only a piece of glass.)  LONG frustrating story of dealing with service representatives of two different companies.  Thankful I have a go to #2 Son to call for a ride when I find out it could take ALL DAY!  There are times I REALLY miss someone to help me with these kind of issues.  He and I decompressed as we drove home over the anxiety of dealing with our "out of the ordinaries".

I am still trying to put a house together.  My roomies brought their last load of "stuff" when they moved and I am not sure where we are going to put all this, but IT WILL GET PUT AWAY!  Trying the age old method of clearing one room at a time.  The garage is a DEFINITE BIG PROJECT!

The older grands have been sick lately---strep throat and a upper respiratory virus.  Lulu to the rescue--babysitting.  I am also helping #1 Granddaughter with her math.  Add to that helping the 6th Grader who is taking 7-8 math this year.  He is currently working on geometry--problems I did in the 10th grade.  The question I ask myself is what are they learning in high school if we are already doing this?  Has math changed that much?

SO--I am surviving and enjoying being with family day in day out.  We have not even threatened each other yet--so they are surviving also.  Someday I will get back on a schedule and write more frequently.  Bear with me.  

Things like this keep me smiling--(you may need to zoom in).

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of lights,

with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

James 1:17

SLIGHTLY CRACKED

 The beginning of any road trip is always a prayer for traveling grace.  Any of us who have driven the interstates, in fact, any of our nation's road systems have seen terrible wrecks.  More than once I have seen a helicopter in the middle of the highway airlifting some poor passenger or driver to the nearest hospital.  That also always brings a prayer.  I am not so foolish as to think I cannot make mistakes while driving.  It only takes a second to make an error in judgement and be on the wrong end of a collision.  SO I always pray.

I was only an hour away from home, in the process of moving, and about another mile or so down the interstate from this photo  when in a flash this happened~

Anyone who has driven through Shreveport knows what terrible shape the interstate is in.  A truck in front of me threw a chunk of concrete up which bounced off my hood and hit my windshield.  It happened so fast, I had no time to respond.  At first I thought I had gotten away with no harm.  I could not imagine how for when the concrete rock hit my windshield it sounded like a gun.  Thank goodness for safety glass.  It could have been a disaster!  I was visibly shaken, but none the worse--physically--for wear.  So many things could have happened--I could have lost control from the sudden shock in a tight part of the road--the rock could have hit higher and caused loss of visibility and on and on.  I must admit to being slightly shaken for quite a few miles.

THEN I REMEMBERED---God had protected me from all the "what if's"---it could have been so much worse.  It can be fixed (though that is not a fast and easy process due to all the safety features in the windshield which have to be recalibrated).  I have insurance.  No one was injured and the car made it to Fort Worth with no further incident.

We tend to look at the bad side of happenings if we are not careful, ignoring the blessings in them.  I may be slightly inconvenienced, but that is the down side.  Clearly--I was protected from so much more that could have happened.  Instead of recognizing an answered prayer---I conveniently forget how God did protect me by dwelling on the down side.  I had rather not spend a day getting my windshield repaired, BUT I sure did not want to spend time in a hospital bed recovering from an accident.  Once again--God is all over my daylies--

WHAT A BLESSING!

"Fear not, for I am with you,

be not dismayed,

for I am your God,

I will strengthen you,

I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE

 You would think by moving to a new location---an entire state away--literally in the middle of the city--you could avoid some of the nuisances found in small town Louisiana.  NO SUCH LUCK!

My very first night in our new home, I woke up to find my very small front yard and flower bed had been visited the night before by this varmint~

Those of you who have read my blogs for a long time KNOW I have a long and sordid history with the armadillo.  I know some of you think they are "cute", but anything that digs up the grass and tears up the flower beds is my sworn enemy.  Let's just say I am known for my late night varmint hunting back in the good old days.  I lived in the country--you could shoot guns---I might have unloaded a pistol on one armored destruction machine and another night I might have been knocked on my rear when switching to a borrowed shot gun.  The tales are endless and I love to repeat them.  I DID NOT THINK I WOULD BE PLAGUED BY THESE GRUB EATERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY.

Perhaps I was naive - I have seen two of the biggest raccoons I have ever spotted a block away from #1 Daughter's home.  There is a river with protected land and trees not far from my house.  I live on a dead end street which has trees, a railroad bed down a ravine, and an open field by it.  Obviously like the deer in North Louisiana these varmints have figured out they are protected by the no shooting in the City limits laws in the Big City.  In Louisiana, I had neighbors in the hood who "took care" of these varmints while we all turned a deaf ear.  We were surrounded by woods and the varmints were plentiful.  Guns going off in the Big City tend to create quite a stir.  We are packed in to a small area tightly and a stray bullet could do great harm.  SO--no shooting in the City Limits.

There is the trapping option.  Not to brag, BUT I am quite talented at trapping the varmints--you just herd them in to the trap with plywood chutes.  There is only two problems with this plan.  Where in the world am I going to find a live trap in the middle of the Big City.  We had them in several stores in small town Louisiana--they were a proven seller since we all dealt with varmints at one time or another.  Perhaps Amazon--which sells anything and everything- will have one.  The BIG PROBLEM---WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO DO WITH THE VARMINT?    I might look a little suspicious if I carry him across town and release him.  You know they have doorbell cameras everywhere now.  I can just see me going viral releasing an armadillo in the hood across the interstate.  I would have the SPCA breathing down my back and protestors lined up in front of my tiny yard.  I could just bring him back across the state line.  No one would blink an eye in Louisiana to see someone releasing a varmint.  YES--that might just be my answer.  BE WARNED LOUISIANAIANS--MORE ARMADILLOS HEADED YOUR WAY!

6 Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, 

and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.”

Genesis 21:6

"IT'S THE STUFF"

 Moving is stressful enough without combining two households!  Leave it to me to take the most difficult path.  Think it over--we have to discuss each and every common thing to decide who brings what.  THEN if you are off the hook for packing the item--you have to find it a new home.  It has been daunting to say the least! 

NOT MY STUFF--PHOTO FROM WWW

Also, I am going from lots of storage over a nice sized house to sharing a house with a family of three.  My ability to spread out has been seriously diminished.  To start the process, I decided to try on every piece of clothing I planned to bring.  HUGE EYE OPENER!

It seems the pandemic and old age have had an impact on the way my clothing fits.  I knew I had gained a few pounds, but couple that with not going to the gym and OH MY!  Let's just say I transferred quite a few garments that I am certain I will never get in to again.  I do not believe in keeping things I cannot wear, and do not kid myself about getting down to that same size at this stage of the game.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE STUFF!  My favorite line from the old movie, "The Jerk" is

"IT'S NOT THE MONEY

IT'S THE STUFF!"

Having cleaned out my mother's belongings, after we lost her, and helped with the same after losing my in-laws, I have learned a very important truth.  Listen carefully--OUR TREASURES PROBABLY HAVE NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO ANYONE OTHER THAN US!  When we are gone they will sell, give away, or throw away what we so tightly clung to.  It is JUST STUFF!  You cannot take it with you and more than likely no one else treasures your treasures.  (Well except for those who love to collect (horde by another name).  Sooner or later most of it will fly out the door.  

I was able to clean out LOTS with each of my moves and think I have gotten it down to a very minimum now.  The trick will be to NOT start collecting again.  When my sweet therapist friend told me I was doing my children a big favor by going through all of this now---I was able to breath a sigh of relief.  All you have to do is remember cleaning out someone else's home to understand what she is saying.

We all tend to place far too much importance on "things".  Things are certainly nice, BUT they are not what makes the world go round.  Relationships are the true gold in our lives.  Their value is unlimited and they need our constant care and attention.  More on that another day, but for today, I encourage you to think about your material possessions and the importance you place on them.  What is taking up space in your life--stuff or people?  Where is you time, energy, and resources spent?  What does that say about your priorities?  Thinking over here after putting away two truck loads of "stuff".  DO WE NEED ALL OF THIS?

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth,

 where moth and rust destroy 

and where thieves break in and steal,

 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,

 where neither moth nor rust destroy,

 and where thieves do not break in and steal. 

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:19-21"