Monday, March 17, 2014

PUSHING & PULLING

I am not who you think I am---there is NO Saint Lora.  I struggle--and not unlike Jacob, I wrestle with God.  "This does not look like I thought it would/should, God."  It really does not look like a wrestling match--more like a pushing and then pulling bout.

I have spent the weekend and today thinking over who I am and where I am with God.  When I paint or am alone---I think---I listen to Christian music--I focus on God--and thus where I am in my relationship with Him.  Perhaps I should become a full time painter---more time to spend on what is truly important.  I have a deck and fence to seal and then a promise to paint #1 daughter's bedroom--who knows--it could become a full time career. It would not be all bad to only paint and think of Him.

While thinking, I began questioning again---does God want me to write?  There are MANY really good bloggers out there---PLENTY of good words to help with your daily walk.  There are so many talented artists of all kinds --musicians, singers, writers--there is no short supply in talent and the loss of one would not be a big deal.  Does God desire me to write---or would I better serve Him in other areas? 

Who am I to write to encourage--when my own failures are disappointing to even me.  So I am examining my motivation---my source of inspiration--and asking, "What is your plan for me---what is Your will?"

Today I have no answer.

Genesis 32:24

1 comment:

  1. The answer is: He brought you to it, He will bring you through it! You inspire so many people (including myself). I would never have gotten as far in my writing if I hadn't started reading yours! He who began a GOOD work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! Until He comes on the clouds in the eastern sky, happy writing!! LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!