Saturday, April 12, 2014

REJECTION

Dear Daniel,

I am sorry, but I will not be able to become your "Friend" on Facebook.  Hopefully this rejection will not be earth shattering for you, but I suspect you have many lines cast in the cyber world looking for fish. 




Recently I suffered a bout of rejection---it began with a comment concerning my slim physique and ended with, perhaps someone will catch my eye someday.  OBVIOUSLY--I am NOT eye-catching!  You should try my remedy---I laughed at the not so subtle "Adios".  Laughter is always much more therapeutic and certainly less painful than tears.




Frankly your comment about "Liking how I looked" immediately caused the whistles to begin blowing.  Since I have a picture of Maggie Smith as my profile picture, you do not have a clue what I look like.  You obviously are attracted to older dowager aristocrats---while I only qualify as older.  This also created some speculation about where you have been for the last few years if you do not recognize Maggie Smith.




I have a bucket full of trust issues I am lugging around and the suggestion we get to know each other better --well it is not going to happen.  To begin with I would need a letter from your pastor, a complete biographical disclosure-back to your great grandparents, a current financial statement, 100 letters of recommendation for intimate family and friends,  a criminal background check, and a certificate of health from a doctor of my choice for us to even have dinner. I am a little paranoid.




The one other cause for concern when you contacted me was the fact that you have one Facebook friend.  It immediately caused me to wonder---if you are who you say you are----whose picture did you post as your profile picture.  You should understand while some are lonely--most are not stupid.




So Daniel, if you are Daniel, lots of luck with finding friends by posting  requests on their Facebook page--even with compliments and suggestive comments about a future relationship.  At times, I am lonely---but there are FAR worse things than being lonely!

Sincerely,
Maggie Smith (You Believe That Don't You?)

NEXT SATURDAY---BACK TO THE HOOD---OH THE NEIGHBORS ARE UPSET!!!








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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!