I am seriously searching for God's intentions for me. Looking to Him and asking for the path to be abundantly clear. The key lies within recognizing my gifts and talents and determining the correct use of them----all for His Good Glory.
My battery needed recharging. I become so wrapped up in what I will write next--I forget to appreciate the dailies. No one is paying me to write---it needs to always be a joy to pen my thoughts--when it becomes a task instead of a privilege--time to rethink where this is going.
I took a hiking trip with my Louisiana buddies. For a week I was too busy trying to keep up with my Superwomen Friends to blog. I did write in my journal--which leads me to this--
While writing in my journal during this blogging break--I discovered the emotion has flown out of my words. My writing, as my responses, have become rote. My words echoed a history lesson---a daily devotion--a hypothetical look at life--a comedy skit---anything but the truth.
We are all guilty of, "I'm fine"---my standard response the last few years has become, "I'm Okay"---was not sure fine was a good description of where I was. We tend to avoid the truth like the bubonic plague when receiving an inquiry of how we are. Honestly I am not certain we want to know how someone really is---as the movie line states, "You can't handle the truth!"
My new friend recently asked why I was not forth-coming. I looked at him and asked, "Have you been truthful of what is going on in your life?" He then told me that everything was really good. I am truly happy his life is so good, but I also am not encouraged to share the not so goods about my own life. When mulling this scene over, I discovered I have only been truthful only to those who would understand my pain and grief. Understanding comes from experience and empathy is much more comforting than sympathy.
All this to say---where is the honesty in my writing? Do I have the capacity to truly bare my soul? I am no saint--except through His grace and I live in a fallen world. Would you even want to read it all---the good--the bad--and the ugly? I am still soul searching--pleading for direction--wandering in the desert of self examination---seeking Him and His Good Purpose for me.
Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.
I Chronicles 16:11