Friday, March 3, 2017

BEYOND GRIEF

I have a sweet neighbor family, who have three adorable children, who are among those who call me Lulu.  The middle child was born with a rare genetic disorder which will limit and delay her abilities.  This little family moved here when this angel was a tiny infant.  The first time I met the dad he had this precious outside trying to soothe her.  He walked over and told me all about her diagnosis.  In my eyes, she was a special gift from God to their family.  As I read the mother's story on line, I discovered a giant of courage.  As with any grief response, those initial days after the diagnosis, while still in utero, were difficult.  This precious family turned from their grief over what this blessing would not be able to do and instead focused on loving her--and loving her well.  They have found the best services for her and have been pro-active from the very beginning in giving her the best opportunities for reaching her potential.  Though I do not know this for a fact, I assume there are still moments of grief for this mom and dad.  There have to be times when they mourn the things this baby will not be able to do, but they have not allowed those limitations to dominate their lives and instead have embraced this sweet child and loved her to the fullest.  When I contacted the mom and asked to share this story, she told me, "I love to share her amazingness with anyone that will listen!"  If that doesn't make you tear up, this video the mom shared to show today's new accomplishment for this darling--hard working two year old will.  I know I cried tears of joy!




My original journey in the 12 verses of II Samuel began with mulling over David's grief response to loosing his son.  A cursory reading of the verses would have you believing, after learning of the child's death, David bathed, dressed, ate and resumed his life.  In this case, it is not what the scriptures say, but what is not addressed which continued to bubble to the surface while digging for meaning.  The story between the lines is the place I kept returning.  What is God teaching us with this story?

Beginning by thinking of my own personal grief journeys and those of dear friends and family who have shared with me their experience of grief, I knew there is more to the story than a tragic loss quickly forgotten.  David's actions are perhaps a reflection of God's desire for us to always live life to the fullest--even in the midst of intense grief.  The gift of life is not meant to be squandered and while grief is a normal response to great loss, we are not to become so mired down in our loss that we allow life to pass us by.  I took great solace in David going to his wife to comfort her in their shared loss.  The Word tells us they then had another child.  Life went on, and though their loss was forever etched on their hearts, they continued to live life to the fullest.  The new baby would never take the place of the one lost, but this does not minimize the love they felt for this new baby.  

We all can learn from my sweet neighbor and this story of David.  Grief is normal--grief is a God given emotion--but our grief should not consume us and keep us from living the gift of life to the fullest.  We should pray for the courage to live in today.  Though the clouds are filling the sky today, the sun will come out again tomorrow.  The tears of today should never deter the joy and laughter still to come.  

But now that he is dead, why should I fast?
Can I bring him back again?
I will go to him, but he will not return to me.
II Samuel 12:23
    

6 comments:

  1. Indeed, grief hits many people at different times in theor lives, and it takes many forms.

    At this period of Lent, let us remember the grief of Mary when seeing her son tortured and put to death on the Cross. Also, the very grief of God for having offered His only Son for us. Just for us.

    God bless.

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    1. Yes, Victor, we seldom stop to remember we are made in the image of God and our grief is the reflection of the grief He has suffered. Great point, Friend! Thank you for sharing!
      Blessings !

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  2. C.S. Lewis wrote a book about grief..."Grief Observed". I admit I have not read it, but have read various quotes from it. One that sticks with me is..."No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is so much like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning ...I keep on swallowing...". Grief is such a personal thing, but how we process the situation tells a lot about us. I don't know your sweet neighbors, but yet I do, now, through your words in your blog. Also, you have encouraged me to go back and read the Samuel passage. Your words are powerful...keep 'em coming. ❤

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    1. Can I tell you I smile each and every time I see this sweet family-love in action! I too have read excerpts from the Lewis book. It is now on my list to complete- like David, he was a great man of God !

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  3. Grief affects all of us differently....I am not very good in social settings where I am suppose to show grief.....I feel so inadapt....not sure if that is the word or not. Another great post, Lulu. Sending you lots of love my friend.

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    1. Yes, My Friend, we all walk through grief differently. I am so thankful for all those who stood by my side and allowed me to walk at my own pace & in my own manner. There are no rules when it comes to grief. I also know we only experience grief when we have loved. That blessing makes the suffering somehow more tolerable.
      Blessings, My Friend!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!