Wednesday, May 31, 2017

CAN I?

Can I go home again?  I am in the process of setting the alarm, tying up loose ends and giving the neighbors notice that I will be headed east tomorrow.  Heading back to what I still call home, Ruston, Louisiana, for a month of visiting.  I am slightly anxious it will all have changed and no longer feel like home.  



Fort Worth is a lovely city, but after four years, Fort Worth has not become home.  At times, I feel as if this is all a dream and I do not really live here.  The upside of living in Fort Worth is being involved in the daily lives of my four grands who are here.  My heart knows this is a wonderful opportunity to watch them growing up and being involved in their lives.  Not having this physical nearness with my two oldest grands, I know what I sadly missed with them being so far way. 

The fact remains I miss Ruston greatly and especially miss my Ruston friends.  There is nothing that compares to small town life.  Though it can be annoying at times, you are never anonymous in a small town.  Careful what you do and for sure what you might say---it will be the local news before you can get your engine cranked.  For goodness sake do not turn on the bathroom light too many times in one night, your neighbor will inquire if your stomach is upset the next day.  Yes, frustrating, but also comforting to know someone cares where you are and what you are doing.



It would seem I now live in Limbo Land.  My heart still claims Ruston as home, but my body is planted in Fort Worth.  Can I go home?  Is Ruston still home?

God allowed the Israelites to roam around in the Wilderness for 40 years--NO HOME-for 40 years!  When they decided to make an idol---He decided they needed to learn WHO He was.  God knew they needed to understand He would not allow any idols in their lives.  So they wondered around-- for FORTY YEARS!  And THEN, they arrived at "The Promised Land".  HOME AT LAST!  The home He had promised!  My question is--did it feel like home to those who had no memory of life before Egypt.  The forty years was long enough to loose the senior generation who had known a home before Egypt.  Those who God allowed to enter The Promised Land had never known it as their home.  Perhaps they had learned with forty years of wandering--home is when we are aware of God's presence.  A place does not make a home---those surrounding us make a home.  

It has occurred to me that God will not allow any idols in my life.  When something begins to become more important than Him, He will strip it away.  He is reminding me of my dependence upon Him---He is reminding me there is nothing more important than Him---He is reminding me where my true home is---by His side in The Promised Land!

So I am headed to Ruston for a nice long visit.  Can I go home?  Not this side of Glory will I be home--but instead still wandering in The Wilderness until He points me to The Promised Land.


"If the LORD is pleased with us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us--a land which flows with milk and honey.
Numbers 14:8

6 comments:

  1. Home is where God is by your side. Home is right here, right now, with God beside you. Home is not a geographical location. It is a state of mind, close to God, every step of the way.

    Have a good journey and a great holiday, Lulu. We look forwards to your return and your many stories. And remember ... learn to go to the bathroom at night with the lights off. I do that ... and use a hand held torch instead !!!! !!!! !!!! (That keeps the neighbours guessing where I am aiming).

    By the way ... there's a message for you from a Bonzo Bookshelf on my Blog: http://timeforreflections.blogspot.com/

    God bless.

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    1. I love being a winner!! Does not happen nearly enough! Thank you, Victor!
      Blessings!

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  2. Funny, we have the same discussions...where is home? Home is what you make of the present circumstances. I might have been born in Indiana and raised in Florida, but honestly, I have no plans of ever going back---I really do not miss family or friends, and they certainly do not miss us (how sad is that?).

    I get what your saying...and it warms my heart to know how much you still love and miss your hometown. Wishing you safe travels my friend. Looking forward to hearing more of your visit. smiles

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    1. 64 years in a 20 mile radius-is a lifetime, Linda! You have a beautiful home. I read about your little family and become envious, My Friend!
      Blessings!

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  3. Hi Lulu! It must feel like you are being pulled in two ways...that's a hard thing. I hope you have a wonderful time back in your home town. I'm sure people can't wait to catch up with you. I know that being connected to your family is important to you, and I know that it's important to them too. Nothing is like family.
    God keep you safe, and bring you joy in your next month!
    Ceil

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    1. Yes, Ceil, precisely! I don't think you can have a foot in two different places effectively. The fact remains my heart is torn! Thank you for your good wishes.
      Blessings, Friend!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!