Wednesday, September 13, 2017

I'M NOT OK!

I have just returned from a dear friend's husband's funeral.  It was an unexpected death.  Do we EVER expect death?  She is in shock at best and the days, weeks and months to come will be a new road to travel.  As I listened to the pastor, he spoke of my friend being a widow.  I was struck by the harshness of the sound of this label.  He was certainly speaking the truth, but I seriously doubt this has had time to dawn upon my friend.  She will need time to process the depth of her loss.




Immediately following the funeral, I went to lunch with a group of dear friends.  One of those with us told a heart breaking story concerning her child.  She is experiencing the agony of seeing her child suffering with no way to remedy the situation for them.  Mothers had always rather bear the pain inflicted upon our children and whatever you do--do not get in the path of an angry mama bear!  I was heart broken for her as I listened to her story and felt her helplessness.  There is no end in sight for the dilemma and her frustration is tangible.


Three of my dear friends are dealing with the complexities of aging parents who are chronically ill.  Our bodies begin to fail us, in most cases, long before the bell tolls.  We have advanced medical science to the point where we can keep people alive sometimes much longer than our bodies are able to adequately function.  This leaves us with parents who are bed ridden for the most part and suffering from multiple problems.  The pills they must ingest to keep them going are legion.  And the saddest thing, many times there is really no remedy for the wearing out of our bodies.  It is frustrating not knowing the answer to how best to help those who have loved us best.  The role reversal of parent and child is perhaps one of life's biggest hurdles.




Where am I going with all of this?  It is okay to say, "I am NOT OK!"  Often we feel the necessity to put on a brave face and be strong when faced with huge losses, pains, and dilemmas.  We somehow get the impression, no one wants to hear our sorrows and frustrations.  A true friend--will ALWAYS have an ear to hear.  Most of the time we need someone to listen as we verbalize our grief.  No solutions are needed but often the case in these times, we just need someone to hear us and sympathize or empathize--but especially listen.  Be the one to offer an ear--be the one to ask, "How are you?" and truly listen to the answer.  Bear the burdens of one another by listening to those God places in our path.  The world is filled with pain and suffering--there is always someone needing an ear.


Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

8 comments:

  1. I am personally familiar with the three examples you mention above. I offer my prayers to those you have mentioned.

    God bless.

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    1. Bless you for your faithful prayers, Victor!
      Blessings, My Friend!

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  2. Yep, been there, done that and doing it. Putting on a brave face is my norm. No wonder my blood pressure is sky high, neglect of my own health for the last 30 or so yrs has caused some serious issues....being a caregiver for loved ones and caring what ever burdens....And I can say, "IM NOT OK." That is probably the first step to admit that one is not ok. Keeping in prayer for your friend(s) and for you.

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    1. AH, My Sweet Friend, I am praying for YOU! Yes, stress is our physical health's worst enemy! Praying God restores you to full health and a life filled with joy!
      Blessings!

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  3. I know you friend...and was so surprised and saddened by the death of her husband...a sweet sweet man. Will be praying for her in the days to come. A very poignant blog...beautifully said.

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    1. Yes, we all will rally around her and pray for her--but she must walk the road--no one ever wants to go down.
      Blessings, My Friend!

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  4. I so appreciate the encouragement to not be 'fine' when our hearts are heavy, broken, wounded. The best gift we can give that soul is the gift of quiet presence. This is a beautiful post, Lulu ...

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    1. Amen, Linda, Amen!
      Blessings, My Friend!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!