It ONLY took three trips to two offices of the DMV to establish my official proof of being a citizen of the Great State of Louisiana. Considering what I went through when transferring to Texas, I consider this a bureaucratic miracle. All you have to do to obtain a license is take along every piece of paper you have ever received proving you were indeed born and proof that you DO have a house of some shape, form, or fashion. THAT and a BOAT LOAD of money will get you a license plate and driver's license.
Obviously the DMV employee who takes the pictures for our license transferred from the state prison admission's office for death row inmates. Haniball Lecter's picture made him look quite normal compared to my latest license. AND---I get to look at it for SIX long years. It is so bad they may question it being me when presenting it as identification or possibly question whether I am indeed suffering from a terminal illness. WHY do I always have my eyes shut and WHERE did that double chin come from? It's GOOD to be known around the town of Ruston and HOPEFULLY NOT asked for identification.
Further proof of being back in the verdant state of Louisiana is one leg being covered by poison ivy rash. WHO KNOWS WHERE I came into contact with this wonderful vine. Could be in my own flower beds or on my walks in the park--YOU NEVER KNOW--especially since poison ivy looses its leaves long before anything else. Unfortunately the vine still causes the rash. It leaves me clawing at my leg in the privacy of my own home and trying to subtlety scratch when out in public. Subtlety is not my strong suit.
The other leg has fire ant bites all over it. It seems I stood in a fire ant bed while Hero sniffed every blade of grass in the ditch . NO PEOPLE---this is NOT my leg. I HAVE shaved my legs--at least once since I moved!
SO YOU SEE---I am official---the real deal---bona fide--and certifiable (NOT A MISTAKE) citizen of the GREAT STATE of Louisiana!
It's GOOD to be home and I am thankful it is Friday!