It ONLY took three trips to two offices of the DMV to establish my official proof of being a citizen of the Great State of Louisiana. Considering what I went through when transferring to Texas, I consider this a bureaucratic miracle. All you have to do to obtain a license is take along every piece of paper you have ever received proving you were indeed born and proof that you DO have a house of some shape, form, or fashion. THAT and a BOAT LOAD of money will get you a license plate and driver's license.
Obviously the DMV employee who takes the pictures for our license transferred from the state prison admission's office for death row inmates. Haniball Lecter's picture made him look quite normal compared to my latest license. AND---I get to look at it for SIX long years. It is so bad they may question it being me when presenting it as identification or possibly question whether I am indeed suffering from a terminal illness. WHY do I always have my eyes shut and WHERE did that double chin come from? It's GOOD to be known around the town of Ruston and HOPEFULLY NOT asked for identification.
Further proof of being back in the verdant state of Louisiana is one leg being covered by poison ivy rash. WHO KNOWS WHERE I came into contact with this wonderful vine. Could be in my own flower beds or on my walks in the park--YOU NEVER KNOW--especially since poison ivy looses its leaves long before anything else. Unfortunately the vine still causes the rash. It leaves me clawing at my leg in the privacy of my own home and trying to subtlety scratch when out in public. Subtlety is not my strong suit.
The other leg has fire ant bites all over it. It seems I stood in a fire ant bed while Hero sniffed every blade of grass in the ditch . NO PEOPLE---this is NOT my leg. I HAVE shaved my legs--at least once since I moved!
SO YOU SEE---I am official---the real deal---bona fide--and certifiable (NOT A MISTAKE) citizen of the GREAT STATE of Louisiana!
It's GOOD to be home and I am thankful it is Friday!
I am so sorry to hear about your rash and discomfort, Lulu. Hope it heals quickly. We had a young girl called Poison Ivy at work. Everyone avoided her for fear of getting a rash too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway ... about your driving licence. Coincidentally I was doing some history research lately. Did you know that the ancient Romans had problems with driving licences too?
You see, in Roman times there were a number of check-points by the Roman guards along the Appian Way. That’s the strategic main road connecting Rome to Brindisi and Apulia. The road was named after the Roman censor Appius Claudius Caecus.
He it was who held a census in the year something or other AD, and having discovered that most Romans did not like broccoli was frightened out of his census.
Anyway, the Roman Centurion guards along the Appian Way always stopped all chariots and checked that the drivers had a driving license.
Unfortunately, as cameras had not been invented at the time, all owners of chariots, such as emperors, senators and the like, carried a sculpture of their heads or faces with them as a form of Roman Identity Card.
That’s why there are only Roman sculptures of famous people and not the peasants and plebs.
As I said, some Romans were rich enough to carry a sculpture of their whole body with them in their chariots rather than just the head or face. Unfortunately the statues were so heavy that they often broke the chariots and fell to the ground.
This happened to a Roman lady called Venus whose statue fell off the chariot and the arms got broken. Historians have still to work out why she was not wearing any clothes when her sculpture was made; and exactly where her arms were when she posed for the stonemason.
When asked by Venus’ angry husband whether she had posed in the nude for him, the stonemason tried to deny it and said that he did the statue from memory. This didn't help his case and the husband punched him on the nose.
And that is why now, in modern times, we do not have photos of naked people in our driving licences and passports.
God bless.
We need scientists to study HOW your brain works, Victor! Sometimes it seems to be a long & twisted road to the point-LOL!
DeleteThank you for my Friday laugh!
Blessings!
Eww on that poison ivy and ant bites...and I hear you on the license...it took a small "amen" to get our residency changed from Alabama to New York.
ReplyDeleteLol at Victor. smiles
Welcome to the South! I KNOW you remember!
DeleteBlessings!
Gee ... welcome home, huh?
ReplyDeleteOur visit to Motor Vehicles was the worst part of our move to MA. It was obnoxious and almost traumatic. Go figure ...
There must be s national mandate to NOT make this easy or pleasant!
DeleteGEEZ, they didn't even laugh at my hilarious quips 😫
Blessings, My Friend!