Monday, December 11, 2017

SENIOR DELINQUENTS

This week is leading up to the beginning of my last year in this decade of my life.  When I am motivated and when time is allotted, I plan to write this week of the beginning of the end of my seventh decade here on this terrestrial ball. After all--at this age I am doing good to get out of bed, much less write a post everyday.  As for the trip on this ball---  IT HAS BEEN A RIDE!




In my younger years, I was a rule follower (except when I was a teen)--well MOST of the time.  It seems I am living my therapist friend's rule of life.  Our crazies get crazier as we get older.  BAD NEWS, PEOPLE!


In my rebellious teen years, I sat on the back row of church so we could pass notes, count the grammatical errors of the pastor, sleep---in general do a lot of stuff other than worship.  I seemed to have slipped into my old pattern here in my old age--though for quite different reasons.  You see, in the church I attend, after the message and final song, THEN they pass the bucket.  It feels like we are being asked to contribute based upon today's service.  I don't like it!  They didn't ask me.  SO in my own act of rebellion, I slip out the back door as they begin to play that last song to pass the bucket.  (It LITERALLY is a paint bucket-new age offering plate)  NOW-before you attack, you DO KNOW you can contribute on line now!  I am accompanied by quite a few senior delinquents who are hugging the back row with me.


 I have NO shame when it comes to playing the old lady card---go to the front of the line, plead old age when it comes to parking right by the door, shamelessly ask for a discount in EVERY place that expects payment.  I feel like I have earned the right to preferential treatment!  I might have hiked 10 miles the day before, but I don't want to be inconvenienced in any shape or form when dealing with the public or parking at the grocery store.


It seems with age I now have license to wear what I want when I want, and speak my mind without hesitation.  SO if you see me wearing the same clothes I worked out in first thing this morning in the grocery store at 5:00 PM, DO NOT JUDGE!  I have gotten past trying to impress and instead lean more toward comfort.  And as for speaking my mind, I have the reputation of all cranky old women to uphold.  It's up to me to spit out whatever thought crosses my mind and heaven help you if you don't agree with me.  I am on a mission to straighten you out!

YES--I have become a Senior Delinquent.  After all who would EVER expect the little old lady to have a lead foot, to not follow the rules, to not be sitting at home drinking tea with all the other little old ladies.  I am flying UNDER---WAY UNDER the radar.  It's GREAT to never be suspected, never questioned, and have a license to be not so good.  AFTER ALL--

BLESS HER HEART--SHE'S OLD!

 He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Job 8:21

15 comments:

  1. First - about passing the collection plate in church. I have a great system you might want to try. Whenever I attend church I start with a figure in my mind as to what I will donate - say £5. Then, when the priest starts his sermon, I start deducting 10% for every minute over 10 minutes that his sermon goes on to. So fare, the priest owes me £3.50

    As for getting old. It's great to wear what you want. I know an old man near us who wears his trousers right up to his nipples. They are held in place by braces as well as a big leather belt. He wears old fashioned plaid type shirts and a tweed jacket ten sizes too large. He has teeth like the Ten Commandments - all broken. His glasses are broken and fixed with sticky tape and he shaves once every ten days. He thinks he is a romantic good catch to all the ladies but in fact he is a sex symbol for women who do not care.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laughed right out loud, Victor!! And by the way, I'm still in my pajamas!
      Blessings, My Friend!

      Delete
  2. Well, then count me in your Senior Delinquent, actually...I'm a rule person, but follow my own beat, lolol...another great post, Lulu, thank you for the smiles and fits of giggles.

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    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, it is all true. The lines have become blurred in my old age as to what is acceptable behavior😱😝.
      Blessings, My Friend!

      Delete
  3. Gosh, you're much too young at heart for all this senior stuff, my friend! You've got an adventurous, youthful spirit ... never forget that!

    And yes, yes. I hear you about the back row. Been there, done that.

    Some things never change, y'know?

    Meet you at the grocery store ...

    ;-}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laughing , Linda, because I am on my way! Sadly I am reminded of my age every morning as I begin to try to get out of the bed-- the struggle is REAL!!
      Blessings, My Friend!

      Delete
  4. I am in my 7th plus decade!! Your post is so true and soooooo funny!! I love old people!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel your pain, Mary. Thank you for the kind comment. Come back tomorrow---I've got a few more choice words to say!
      Blessings!

      Delete
  5. Hahahahah! My day is complete! I required Therapy and drugs to get over my OCD. This was perfect!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WELL now, my OCD is alive and well. If I don't laugh at myself, I might consider jumping off the cliff, that's no fun! TOO many people to still annoy before I take that plunge! Glad I made you laugh---it's ALL based upon the truth!
      Blessings, My Friend!

      Delete
  6. Wow! I sure got a laugh out of this one, Lulu! I'm not far behind you in the crazy old lady department, but I have a ways to go before I can aptly compete. I can dream, can't I?
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting old is NOT for the faint of heart, Martha!
      Blessings, My Friend!

      Delete
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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!