Friday, October 12, 2018

A LITTLE KINDNESS GOES A LONG WAY

If I had a quarter (inflation has upped the nickel) for every time my mother told me,


I would be a RICH woman!  It was her go to right after the "Eye" and just before the threat of being sent to a "Girl's School".  All the world's problems could be solved with kindness.  WAIT A MINUTE!!!  There maybe something to that!

One thing is for sure kindness is a declining a commodity.  We seem to have lost all sense of decorum and manners in today's electronic and fast paced world.  There is no more civil disagreement--more like civil war.  OH--I have gotten OFF my subject for the day--KINDNESS.

When doing a little reading concerning kindness, I came across this article in "Psychology Today".  It plays directly into where I am going.  The author states kindness leads to a state of well being.  We could all stand to be a little kinder to one another and additional well being would be a good reason to give it a try.

BUT the kindness I am referring to today is being kind to one's self.  Chapter Three in the current read,



addresses the need to be kind to one's self.  Somewhere along the way, I missed this lesson.  We have talked before on our harshest critic is "me".  Believe you me, every flaw of any shape form or fashion in myself, I am well acquainted with.  

The author speaks of being a "Workaholic"--I am a recovering workaholic.  It can be a struggle and I have to fight the need to be "busy" every waking second of the day.  And REST, why even now in retirement sleep and rest are hard to come by.  I made the mistake of getting a Fitbit which records your sleep and the cycles you go through while sleeping.  I wish I did not know.  Unfortunately after years of having one ear open at all times and being constantly sleep deprieved, I cannot sleep now that I have the luxury of sleeping.


What is most distressing is there is very little of the much needed REM and deep sleep.  Light sleep--I am an expert at!



AND I was raised with the expectation of we all worked.  If nothing else, scrub the pattern off the linoleum tile on the floor.  My mother was a firm believer in no idle hands or time.  Homework was a welcome reprieve from the chores Momma came up with.  This followed along to my adult years.  I went from my job away from home, to my job at home, and heaped other activities on top of that.  I was my own worst enemy and could not be still or unproductive.

My life could well be the author's description of her own--but for a few decades difference.  Add to that both of us have the need for perfection and you have the perfect storm for exhaustion.  I have spent a great deal of my life exhausted, but unwilling or unable to stop.  There are people who need help, Bible Studies to attend/teach, meals to share, and projects unending.  Why even my vacation trips are geared toward exhaustion.



STOP, IN THE NAME OF LOVE, (I never see stop that I don't sing that phrase).  The time for showing a little kindness to myself has come.  Sit on the couch, read a good book (without needing to give a book report or finish it in record time)--CHILL!  Stop and smell the roses--don't just talk a good game--actually do it.

I would bet my last shirt (Remember--I only have six) I am not the only one in this boat.  Something tells me most of the women out there, put themselves way down their list of priorities.  Taking time to be kind to yourself is not on your agenda.  I will ask you this one question-


How much better could you serve God, be a wife or mother, be a friend-
if you were well rested, had laughed today, had enjoyed a good meal,
and recognized what a wonderful person you are 
as marked by the love of those you hold dearest,
but especially the love lavished upon us by Our Heavenly Father?

WHAT IF WE WERE KIND TO OURSELVES?

For no one ever hated his own flesh
, but nourishes and cherishes it, 
just as Christ does the church
Ephesians 5:29

8 comments:

  1. "WHAT IF WE WERE KIND TO OURSELVES?"

    Then nothing would get done.

    We are all meant to work harder and harder for more hours than there is in a day for every day of the year and more. How else can we progress to the wonderful society we have now where we have so many materialistic things and so many choices and so many good things to enjoy. More than we could ever hope for?

    Then ... when we have all worked hard and played hard to the point of exhaustion and ultimate death ... then, we can relax and be kind to ourselves!

    God bless.

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  2. Oh Dear, I seem to have hit a nerve, Victor! You should take tomorrow off & just chill. It is Saturday tomorrow ��
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Don't misunderstand me, Lulu. I agree with you. But I find in life circumstances come in the way. Time was when I had to commute by train many miles each day to my office. I got up at 5:30am to be at my office by 8:30am. I got home very late. Sometimes I had to drive miles visiting other offices all over the UK; and having to spend the night in hotels.

      I am not saying I'm the only one who did this. I am saying that sometimes necessity comes in the way of life. If I did not do this I would not have the means to meet my commitments to my family.

      I'm guessing you, and others, also have had such busy lives and no time to be kind to yourself.

      God bless you, Lulu. Yes, your post today touched a raw nerve from the past.

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    2. I totally understand, Victor. I was always doing what I thought was best for my family.

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  3. I spent much of my life in that same trap, Lulu. Not worth it!!! Today, my mantra is "more being, less doing." And I try to be kind to others and to myself.
    Blessings, my friend, and just chill! :)

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    Replies
    1. We are slow learners, Martha!
      Blessings, My Friend!

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  4. Yes, my fellow journeyman, we are ALL very much alike. But I shall make reinforcement of one point that has been heaped on me in spades lately: no one but the individual can take responsibility for their rest and overall condition. Whether others care or not, only we can own our bodies for the Lord. It is up to us to honor Him in how we rest, give ourselves recovery and make ourselves an available temple for Him.

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    Replies
    1. Amen to that, My Friend! I have finally learned to politely but firmly say “No”. Great comment!
      Blessings!

      Delete

Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!