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Monday, January 28, 2019

IMPENDING MELT DOWN

Having just returned from #1 and Only Granddaughter's tea party/birthday, I came back with new material.  We have always celebrated this little delight's birthday with family parties.  At the ripe old age of 4, she now has graduated to a full fledged--invite your friends party.  Her smart mommy kept the numbers small.  

This one was born a drama queen.  The question is not if she will have a melt down, but when the melt down will begin most days.  "Hot Mess" is such a good description for this little sweetie, when her emotions and feelings collide with tired.  In all honesty she has been letting those "emotions" get the best of her since she exited the warmth of the womb.  Her expectations are high and when we are not able to meet them on cue--well she can go from glad to mad to tears in the time it takes to get your breathe to address what is happening.


Self regulation has met its match with this little one.  She is far too busy regulating the rest of us to realize she might could bring those "feelings" down a notch or two.  When you are four, it is difficult to deal with expectations, excitement, personalities, and exhaustion.  She was wound tighter than a coil on a  spinning top and the spring finally was popped by some well intended-but mis-understood remark by an innocent by-stander.  


You are sitting there trying to figure out what exactly is the problem and she is gathering steam to pop her cork.  Bless her heart!  Her mom was quite proud though, she lasted two hours before the anticipated eruption.  Two hours of playing nice, sharing her toys, a boat load of sugar, running, squealing, and all forms of merry making before the exhaustion of it all caught up with her.  


We knew there would be a melt down, because of previous experience.  One of her brothers is also very emotional and had to leave his third birthday party after his melt down.  The next year at four was not much better and unfortunately we were at an off site venue for that party.  They are just too immature and highly emotional to deal with the stress of all this happening at once.  The melt downs are not pretty--but with time they will get better.  Social maturity does happen.



Or does it happen, or are we guilty of regressing occasionally?  Do we let the stress of a moment, the unmet expectations, the disappointment of the day, the pain of loss , unexpected illness--the weight of the world become too much and throw our own royal hissy fit?  Does self regulation and social boundaries temporarily escape us at time?   In all truthfulness, I have been known to step out on my back deck-when I lived deep in the woods, and let a good earth shattering scream go.  I felt much better--and let off some steam.  It is not a bad thing to blow off steam, let if fly, have a good foot stomping fit--if it actually helps you to pull those emotions back in.  What is bad--is when you take it out on the person who is standing in front of you when the last straw is added to the stack--and your stack gets blown.  Are you guilty of taking it out on someone who has nothing to do with what is really wrong?  Do you hurt the innocent by stander because they made the mistake of standing by you?  



The next time--you feel the need to pitch a fit--stop and consider who you are pouncing on while throwing said fit.  Do not make the mistake of running off the very one who stood by you during the turmoil.  Do not shoot the messenger, or attack the innocent.  Pull that melt down back in, take a deep breath, and call out to the One who understands.  One important fact to remember, after the royal hissy fit--her mommy and all the rest of us still love her MORE than we can describe.  So it is with us--after our melt down and tantrum--God still loves us--MORE than we could ever imagine--no matter how we act--He loves us!

1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
I John 3:1

6 comments:

  1. Oh, yes, we are all capable of those temper tantrums and hissy fits, Lulu. But your advice is spot on - we don't need to take it out on those around us, but run to the One who will understand, and love us anyway. Oh, and did I mention how adorable your granddaughter is?
    Blessings!

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    1. I am quite the opposite, and seldom melt down- but when I do it is Not pretty!
      Thank you, Martha! She is definitely in charge!
      Blessings, My Friend!

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  2. She's a sweetie! That look in her eyes!

    My meltdowns aren't all that attractive either. She and I would be very good company together ...

    ;-}

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    1. I’m not sure you are in her league, Linda. She can poke that lip out so far there is danger of tripping over it! And then she turns the table and loves fiercely as well! Her mellow Lulu has a hard time keeping up with which emotional page we are currently on.
      Blessings, My Friend!

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  3. God can take our anger. He took it when hanging from the Cross, did He not?

    God bless.

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!