It never occurred to me that I would EVER have to work at keeping busy. When my volunteering imploded with the state shut down, I began to search for old and new activities to fill my days. Somehow I have developed a pattern of 30 minute splurges into a variety of endeavors. Perhaps I should apply to be the new ADHD spokesperson. I will save the list of all the things I have attempted for another day. This changed world we are living in has challenged me to maintain the positive spin while trying to pull out of a nose dive into the doldrums.
It has been amazing to see how God has provided each and every time the day has begun to darken into a dreary haze of repetition. I laughingly tell others I am in a pattern of reliving Ground Hog Day over and over. The resulting primary pursuit has revolved around what I will be eating for my next meal. With all the change, my appetite definitely has not suffered. Or am I eating to fill the time? I am not certain why-but I do know the tightening of my clothing is indicative of what I am spending part of my time pursuing.
The necessity of social isolation to stem the out of control spread of this deadly virus has been trying at best. With the onset of our hot & steamy southern summer, the occasional visits outside or in the garage have had to be curtailed. A feeling of heaviness of spirit or despair has occasionally settled around me like a thick and suffocating fog. I am weighted down by the heavy coat of despair over all the suffering and trouble in the world and my loss of the means to help.