WHEN I AM STRONG

 I was raised to be a strong--independent woman.  My mother's life path was not an easy one and she had to gather her strength and put on a brave face--so many times.  One of the things she did reveal to me--in a small glimpse of her  trek through this life---was her first love.  The disapproval of the parents of this first love.  Disapproval to the point of managing to put an end to that relationship.    He was destined for college--law school---they were too young--and it was stopped by his parents--much to her heartbreak.

She survived the loss of her first child at full term--with Daddy off to WWII.  She survived the war years--living in a life of the unknown in a day of NO instant form of communication.  She survived the dread of seeing the Western Union deliverer coming to your front door.  She survived those years of dreading the worst you could imagine.  While grieving the loss of her first born.

There is more---much more---years of difficult times---but all that loss, anxiety, stress and grief began the growth of a tough outer shell.  The motto of sucking it up (my words not hers--she would NEVER say suck it up) --no matter how great the pain.  Never show your weakness, but instead swallow those tears and bear the pain--with a straight face.  No room for weakness--above all else be strong.

This has been a life lesson for me -- when I am  weak---HIs strength is visible through me.  We have all been told---God will never give you more than you can bear.  I do not agree with that statement.  Instead God may well give you more than you can bear--except for Him being  by your side.  He has promised in our weakness to be by our side---to uphold us---to bear our pain with us.  When I am strong,  I am placing myself on the throne---I am handling it.  When I admit---I am weak---I do not think I can do this---He shows Himself to me in a sweet--tender---faithful manner.  He upholds me in my weakness with His Strong Right Hand.  So where am I going---admit your weakness---allow Him to teach you His character by allowing yourself and others to see your vulnerability and weakness.  Allow Him to uphold you---and give Him the praise and glory for His strength and protection.  When I am strong, relying on my own strength---I have forsaken God's gift of love---when I am weak---He strength is proclaimed from the deepest realm of my soul.

"For the sake of Christ, then,

I am content with weaknesses, insults,

hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak,

then I am strong."

II Corinthians 12:10