LISTEN

 Two life long friends have just experienced a tragedy beyond words.  What can one say at a time such as this?  Words seem so inadequate---BUT with life long experiences I have learned what might provide some solace.  Just listen---it is not easy to sit and listen to the profound and gut wrenching grief of others---it is a testimony to how much we care when we invite conversation and just listen.  One of my dearest friends lost their child at a very early age, over a decade ago.  I consistently remind her I remember that sweet child and invite conversation.  Grief takes on a life of its own--and though it may not always be scorching hot---the embers are always just under the surface waiting for a breeze of remembrance to fan the flames once again.  If you have not experienced deep- profound- gut wrenching- heart breaking grief, you are one of the few.  There is no emotion quite like grief.  I have never had one single person tell me they are healed from their grief.  It NEVER really goes away---is always just under the surface---perhaps not as painful--but the vacuum created by the loss of a loved one can NEVER be filled.  It is truly a black hole.

NOW---I can say one good thing about grief~ it only comes if we have had the great joy of love.  When we love someone deeply, we know with the loss of that loved one we will suffer grief beyond our comprehension.  My Daddy died over 60 years ago---I still think of him, pine for what might have been, and look around at all those fortunate enough to still have a father and wonder, "Why me?"  I needed his love, his guidance, and direction.  I am absolutely certain had he not been taken, I would not have made some huge errors in judgement along the way.  BUT though I grieve him, and all those who have gone on before me--I am thankful for the mutual love we shared and all the joy he brought me.  My life would have been a huge void without my loved ones.  When I read Job, I think of his grief for his first lost family.  Yes, God did give him another family, but I am absolutely certain he grieved until his dying day the first family--because he loved them.

SO--back to what can you do to help those who are suffering profound grief. Of course we pray for them- but we should also-   LISTEN--invite conversation--help them to process--let them know you are there and will never forget their loved one either.  Be willing to sit in the presence of anguish--even when we are extremely uncomfortable.  There is nothing else we can do--but be present and listen.

"Blessed are those who mourn,

for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4