We all have friends or acquaintances who love the game of One Up. You have the flu--need surgery---broke your foot---cut your hand---had a bloody nose--whatever the malady---mention it to this friend---and they have had it and FAR worse.  Their flu turned into double pneumonia requiring hospitalization, their surgery was botched and required weeks in the hospital, their foot was near amputation, they cut their finger off-requiring reattachment--their nose bled so much they had to have a blood transfusion.  Whatever you mention theirs was SO MUCH more critical.

You mention in a group your relative being diagnosed with some dreaded disease.  They or theirs have had it and far worse.  There is a driving need to then give you a blow by blow description of the entire ordeal with each and every gory detail given in living color--including sights, smells and sounds.

How many times have you shared some life altering-tragic-painful event and had it all thrown right back at you?  A boomerang should work this well.  Only their story -WELL suffice it to say your story became a fairy tale in comparison.

We seem to love to recount our tales of suffering AND we get stuck in the retelling of it all.  We become an I Pod on repeat--with the same story--details--tragedies being told over and over.  We become mired in the cess pool of "The Pride of Suffering", actually becoming a martyr with our tragic tale.  Our grief is the greatest grief and no one else has ever suffered as we have.

Yes--life can be difficult--it is sometimes not fair---but there is life beyond the suffering.  The challenge is not being guilty of the sin of pride in our suffering.  To somehow pull ourselves out of the pit and into the light of day and refuse to tell the tale over and over.  I have been guilty as charged in the past, but with practice at keeping my eyes off my navel and seeking His will--it becomes easier to have no need to get stuck in the darkness of suffering and instead seeking the joy of the blessings found all around.

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 
I Peter 5:10


  1. I'm so guilty of this, only MUCH worse! *lol* Seriously, I think I'm falling into this pit of self-pity. I was realizing this this morning. (Great minds DO think alike) :) Gotta snap out of it! It's not the normal me. As far as the One Upmanship ... the last post I made, this is what my Sister-in-law was doing and one of many reasons I became so angry. Guess I'd better give more prayerful thought to what happened. Otherwise our relationship is totally, irretrievably ruined. Don't want that. Maybe it can be salvaged somehow? I am a hard head, proud rascal but am willing to listen to God's word is He'll show me the way.
    THANK YOU for posting this today Lulu. Have a blessed day. ~:)

    1. He will show us the way---we do not always like sacrificing our pet peeves! There is NO WAY to ever win at "One Up"--my thoughts are always GET A LIFE!
      Blessings, Sparky!

  2. Great heaps of truth here, Lulu. Oh to be so heard and cherished and validated by the Lover of our soul that we don't have to play that obnoxious 1-Up game to somehow get noticed or appreciated.

    This was so good today, friend. I thank you!

    1. Straight from my heart,Linda. I do not want to be remembered some day for the tragedies of my life--but instead how I loved My Father!

  3. Hi Lulu! You have really hit on something that is so prevalent today. It's like a contest; "Who had it worst?" Who has ever benefitted from that? I really like your phrase the 'pride of suffering', that is just genius because it really describes what's going on. I think people truly expose themselves in their pain to be supported, not 'one-upped'.

    Pride in suffering...I'm really going to keep that in my heart. It's an important reminder that it's not about me!

    1. Well Ceil, I can not claim to be the genius. When I told my sweet friend I was sick of "Going There" over and over--she coined the phrase. It does describe the unwillingness to move past the suffering. I had a comment on this post on FB and this friend said" It dawned on me after reading your post that when I choose to relive a trial of which God has already delivered me safely to the other side, I choose to exalt myself and past suffering over his present grace and mercy" There it is in a nutshell!
      Blessings Friend!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!