In many ways, my life was really much more simple, in a complex manner, before I retired.  When I was working long and hard days, there was little if no free time to fill.  In the midst of raising children, keeping a house functioning with a semblance of cleanliness and food on the table, working at a demanding job, and giving a brief but meaningful nod at maintaining important relationships, there was rarely time to think beyond the myriad of tasks in front of me.  It was necessary to stay focused and not waste time and pray for no kinks in the day to survive.  I was never at a loss, nor evenly rarely thought about the Big Picture and what is next.  Instead I fought with all my might to keep my head above water and the wheels between the ditches.

I was on task--on a mission--nose to the grind stone with my primary focus the well being of my family.  There was never a question in my mind as to my primary mission field--it was the Home Mission Field.  My sage words of wisdom to all young parents is they need to serve the local--Family mission first and foremost.  It is an all consuming job!

Now my life looks quite different---there is no longer anyone to take care of-to consume my focus, I no longer work and finding my purpose can be a frustrating unanswerable task.  My daily prayer is for God to reveal His perfect purpose in my life, and yet many days there seems to be no reply.  

Recently I read a John Piper sermon on collecting sea shells in retirement.  The gist of his message was we never retire from God's work.  The frivolity of the mundane consuming our days is a waste of our precious resources.  The beautiful garden, long list of trips, perfect golf scores, and huge collection of seashells is not wrong--unless we become consumed with them.  Yet, I find myself moving from project to project, pulling always growing weeds from the garden of life instead of planting beautiful flowers.  The days become filled with the minutiae of what do I prepare for the next meal, when am I going to mow the lawn, planning the walk I badly need to take--on and on with the day to day tasks involved in living.  

And then there are the unnecessary projects I take on to fill the hours of an unplanned day.  Washing the windows--which will surely begin to get dirty again before I even walk away, wondering if I should paint the interior of the house, painting the cellar door--and why not all the doors while I am at it.  My mind is constantly in overdrive scheming and planning the next project--the next task--the next thing on a long list that could be left undone forever without dire consequence.  I am fluttering my life away on the inconsequential while the most important stares me straight in the face. 

What am I doing with the time left--these final chapters?  What am I doing to further The Kingdom?  Where are my hours spent?  What do I have to show for my 24-7's?  When I stand before Him--as we all will---am I to hear--"Well Done" or "What were you thinking?"  Deep thoughts leading up to the Holiest of Weeks--Deep Thoughts~

But my life is worth nothing to me 
unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me
by the Lord Jesus-
the work of telling others
the Good News about
the wonderful grace of God.
Acts 20:24


  1. Another one of your pensive semi-sombre posts, Lulu. Wht you describe is, sadly, what happens to us all. We get caught in the day to day busyness of life, working hard to keep going and finding that we're standing still. Balancing work and family life and perhaps failing at both.

    Then when we're retired (I hate that word) we try to fill time with this and that like counting how many pastilles it would take to choke a kestrel, or studying the gland system of a toad; or something just as futile.

    I understand what you are saying, Lulu. But you forget perhaps the good works that you almost as a routine. Good works that are appreciated now, and will certainly be remembered by future generations. Being on call to help your daughter, looking after your grand-children, teaching at the homeless shelter, being in contact with friends and relatives and bringing them joy in their hearts by just being there, by being you. See how much good you are doing in your retirement (did I say I hate this word?).

    And there's something else you can do instead of cleaning the windows inside and out. (A neighbour of ours cleans her windows and then proceeds to sweep the garden path and even the pavement (sidewalk) in front of her house. I hope you don't do that?) Anyway, what was I saying before I interrupted myself? Oh yes ... there's something else you can do. Pray for your loved ones - individually. Mention their names one at a time and then tell God something about them. Widen the circle of prayer to the ones you tecah at the homeless centre, to neighbours, friends, and so on ... even me!

    I'm sure you're doing well, Lulu, with the way you are doing now. Keep at it and keep smiling.

    God bless you.

    1. What a perfectly delightful missive, Victor! Though I certainly pray, it can never be too much- thank you for this reminder and all your encouraging suggestions.
      Blessings !


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!