How we envision our lives and how they often play out are sometimes polar opposites and in most cases, at a minimum, not the dream we planned on living.  I loved keeping a welcoming and serene home for my family to call home base.  Dinner on the table, everything in its place, and an atmosphere conducive to relaxation and regrouping were important to keeping the family healthy and happy.  My dream was to always be the wife who made home a welcoming sight.  My style of love is that of service--be it family or stranger, I show love by taking care of those in my path.  My dream was to live in a happy home until death do us part.  That dream disappeared.

Many women and men who find themselves alone mount a desperate search for another spouse.  Most of us are happiest in a relationship, but be wary of any living body to fill that void.  As I have thought this over, I came to realize re-creating what it took a lifetime to achieve is not obtainable.  There simply is not enough time left.  It takes years to grow a deep and meaningful relationship-years I do not have.  So when the dream is dashed---and the realization of re-creating it is impossible--what do we do with dashed dreams?  Where does our hope lie?

As I thought this over, it has occurred to me I should be thankful for that which is right in front of my face.  My children, my grands, and my wonderful friends. Who is to say that dreams cannot be re-channeled?  The love for a spouse cannot be replaced, BUT our love, time and energy can be directed toward others.  Lately I find God placing those who are alone on my heart and mind a great deal.  Though many of my friends are married, many are not, and those who are alone seem to feel the same void.  We seem to be missing the boat by focusing on our past and not looking toward our future.  The world is filled with need and opportunity for service.  Why not re-direct our time and energy into impacting those God places in our path?  Re-channel our energy and time toward the needs directly in our path and leave the past in the past.

Life on this earth is short--and a wasted day can not be re-lived.  SO--I have my eyes open and my heart prepared to bloom where I am planted.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
Collisions 3:23


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  2. This is a wise, honest and straight from the heart post. I admire your courage in writing it.

    Yes, when we marry, we expect it to last a lifetime and the commitment we make is real and serious. A commitment to one's partner and to God; for He is witness. But ... sadly, all too often marriages break down for all sorts of reasons. It is heart-breaking for those involved as well as for their wider family and friends.

    Where does God stand in all this? He may not approve of marriage break-downs; but He is not stupid either. He knows that often marriage break-downs are inevitable and are the right thing to do; even if some people lead us to believe the opposite.

    With marriage break-downs God is there to pick up the pieces, to console, to forgive and to show ever-lasting Divine love; even where human love has died.

    God also provides opportunities to re-grow again. This may not always be in finding new partners and new love. But often, the opportunity presents itself to do good onto others that God places in our way. To be helpful and a gift to one's family, to strangers, to those down-and-outs whose situation is worse than ours, to the poor and the sick. These are the opportunities to do good now that we have the time and energy to do so; which perhaps were not available in similar supply when we were married.

    And I know you excel in doing good, Lulu. I admire you and salute you for it.

    God bless.

    1. Thank you, Victor, but sadly it is never enough for the needs are great. What if we all joined hands and came together to serve those in need? What if we presented a united front in our service? What if we were all working toward the same goal of service? What a beautiful fulfillment to a dream that would be! If only--


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!