My personal take on expectations is to hope for the best, but not be surprised by the worst.  Somewhere in the middle ground between best and worst is my reality of expectations.  I think I am protecting my heart by being wary of allowing myself to believe events will turn out rosy.  When disappointments rear their ugly head, I am not devastated, but when everything turns out rosy, I am pleasantly surprised.   I do not consider myself either an optimist or pessimist, but instead a realist.  My faith is placed in the law of averages and consider good luck superstition.  I do not cross my fingers, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, or even own a horseshoe.  There is no such thing as good luck and hard work usually comes with just rewards.  Even in a game of chance, the averages will catch up with you if you play long enough.

Even the infamous Bard
Knew the risk of expectations.

While discussing a chapter on marriage in our book during small group, one of my sweet friends told us when asked to give advice to brides-to-be she always tells them, "Lower your expectations."  OF COURSE, this gave us all a great laugh.  Everyone in the room is or has been married.  Then the silence fell upon us as we grappled with what had just been said.  We all go into marriage thinking we will be the next Cleavor family.  And then reality sets in and you realize this looks more like the Bunkers or the Conners than the Van Dykes.  As I mulled over her comments this week, I realized we have let the media, writers through the ages, and our own romantic notions lend bias to the truth of marriage.  Marriage and in fact all relationships take work, and always putting others first.  Personally I would not tell anyone to lower their expectations, but instead look at marriage through the eyes of reality instead of fantasy.  

It seems quite a few of my married friends are reaching the milestone of 50 years of wedded bliss lately.  My heart is warmed and I am thrilled for them--knowing it has not always been easy and they have chosen family over self.  Just this past week, my friend, Sandra celebrated her 50th anniversary with all of her children and grandchildren.  Her daughter's words tell the truth of what it means for us to stick it out. "Not every family gets to celebrate 50 years of marriage. Thankful and blessed that my parents have set a high standard. Not perfect by any means, but thankful for their example!"  I know this family well enough to say it has not always been easy, but they have always held their commitment high.    NOW--I know not everyone has marriages that last---I would be counted in that number, but I applaud those who go the course and make it work.  We ALL entered marriage with the expectation it would be until death parted us, reality sometimes throws cold water on our great expectations.

SO in what can we have "Great Expectations" and not be disappointed?  It would seem anything related to man and this world is at risk of our expectations being dashed.  Only God and His perfection can be trusted to always meet our expectations as long as those expectations are based upon the truth of His character as revealed in His Word.  If He says He is going to do it, you can count on it!  No need to lower your expectations, no need to rely upon chance, instead believe and trust in the reality of Who He Is---THE GREAT I AM!  Our Greatest Expectation.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. 
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage; 
Yes, wait for the LORD.
Psalms 27:13-14


  1. Too many things to comment on in this Blog post, Lulu. I'll try not to go on too long.

    It is good to be a pessimist. When things turn out well you'll be happily surprised; if they don't you can say "I told you so!" Always works for me. And I am superstitious too. I never walk under a black cat. When I see a cat crossing the road at night I know it is going somewhere. When I break a mirror I always pick up the pieces in case someone steps on them and cuts himself.

    As for marriage and your quote "lower your expectations". Why is it women always laugh at small things?

    God bless.

    1. And once again, you have provided me my first laugh of the day. Bless you, Victor!

  2. My late grandmother told me on my wedding Dec. 31, 1988, "Linda, you should never go to bed mad at him!" Well, of course, that just isn't true, right? (giggling)--expectations, just don't get me going on that thought, lol.

    1. Impossible would be more like it. Bless her heart!!
      Blessings, Sweet Friend!

  3. Never go to bed angry is sage advise. It has served me well over 52 years of marriage. It also helps when your spouse becomes your best friend

    1. Best Friend is always my advice to young people!
      As for going to bed mad, well that’s sometimes a tall order!
      Blessings, Ronny!

  4. Marriage does require that both persons put the other first, and work toward that together. Not easy, but so well worth it. Took a bad marriage for me to figure that one out. And yes, we can always have great expectations in God!
    Blessings, Lulu!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!