A LITTLE RESPECT AFTER INTROSPECTION

I had a great long time friend and blog follower contact me and ask the question, "Are you not going to blog anymore?"  She gently nudged and reminded me of what an important role my blogging has been in my life for many years now.  I gave her my laundry list of excuses, but the bottom line is anything which is important to us, we find time for.  Since her nudge, I have wondered what I even have to share, and BINGO--WHAT have I been thinking about lately?  

In the Small Group study of 

we have been reminded of God's great love for us.  Not only does He love us, but He does not expect us to change our basic personality to some pseudo Religious Fanatical Zealot.  His only expectation is for us to completely and totally surrender to Him.  THAT is what I have spent a great deal of time thinking over the last few weeks.  Who am I ---the basic unit of God's creation--before the world began to morph me with shame, guilt, sorrow, anger, and all those other negatives---Who am I?

To figure out exactly who I am, I have done onion therapy--peeled back the layers.  God loves the me He created, but to get back to that basic me, I have had to recognize the layers which are by products of living in a fallen world, not God's desire for me.  Where does my lack of trust come from? -NOT God.  Where does my fear of future needs come from?- NOT God.  Where does my insecurity and inferiority come from?- NOT God.  Layer after layer I have slowly peeled away those traits which came from the world and living life.  Introspection is perhaps one of the best things I have ever done.  Slowly but surely I have begun to understand the perfection of how God creates us as layer after layer of the old wall paper of life began to be stripped away.

Now, I am not certain I will ever get back to that pre-primer basic layer, BUT I have gone really deep.  I have made the most marvelous - wonderful discovery-
I LIKE ME!

I would be my friend.  Those gifts and talents that God has blessed me with are traits I respect and look for in others.  Far from perfect--sure don't have all the talents--but the basic elements of Who I am---it is good.  God's perfection in His creation of ME!  

SO--if God loves me, and after tireless examination, I have decided I like me---WHY then do I give myself such a hard time?  Because THE WORLD has become my measuring stick--NOT GOD!  I have allowed The World and others' opinions to become more important than God's.  We all tell ourselves, "We don't care what others think."  BUT sadly, Yes, we do.  And though the world is a harsh critic, we are our own harshest critic.  When do we finally believe Him?  When we are able to totally surrender to Him.  Even then, it requires reminders to ourselves of What He says about us and how much He loves us-

See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hand.

Isaiah 49:16