The counselor challenged the ladies at The Well this week with how we should apologize and why.  OH MY  ~  the hornets' nest was disturbed!

One of the ladies IMMEDIATELY said, "OH NO NO NO!"  We all laughed as the counselor told her, "I KNEW before I came in here you would have a problem with this topic. "  Can you say unresolved anger?

Another of the ladies said, "But what about the time I apologized, but never received an apology in response and I definitely was owed one?"  She went back to this same theme several times in the session.

The final response to stick with me was, " I am always apologizing even when I do not think I owe anyone an apology.  I just want peace."  

"I am sorry." may be the three words which are the most difficult to learn.  I did not really learn this lesson until I was challenged about NEVER saying I was sorry.  HUMBLING!  WHAT comes between us and a needed apology?

Our reluctance to admit fault or wrong is usually the culprit for withholding a needed apology.  The root emotion behind our response may be  anger.  Anger can eat you alive if you allow it to grow.

As the discussion progressed, I gave the ladies a few pearls of hard earned  wisdom from Lulu 

My anger ALWAYS hurt me MUCH WORSE

 than it did whomever I was angry with.

When I explained to them that sometimes the other person is not even aware we are angry or may not care we are angry, the light bulb came on.  How much energy do we waste on anger?  My mother was so right when she told me, "You can get glad in those same pants you got mad in."

Side note- I have had to admit plenty of times over the years, Momma was right.  

Our anger gives the person we are angry with

 control over our limited resource of time and energy.

So, how does that sit with you?  Right, wrong or indifferent admitting our part in a disagreement and apologizing for it is a "Get out of jail free" card for any part we might have had in the problem.  There are ALWAYS two sides to every story---we see things through different eyes and with different histories.  Our perceptions are not going to be the same.  All we can do is examine ourselves and apologize for any part we might have played in the disagreement.  We are ONLY responsible for our response and actions.

The words, "I am sorry" 

become easier and easier

 to say with practice.  

Once we learn how small the cost really is of admitting fault and apologizing for our actions, responses, or misdeeds, we learn an important life lesson.  Our sense of self (pride) will not be dealt a fatal blow by admitting our error.  The fact is our sense of self will be strengthened and bolstered by our willingness to recognize who we are ~ A Child of God who has feet of clay


Finally I am called to remember these beautiful words of confession from the  liturgy for communion ~

 “We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, by thought, word and deed, against thy Divine Majesty, provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, and are heartily sorry for these misdoings. The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; the burden of them is intolerable.”

Have we stopped to apologize to God for our sinful behavior in the midst of His lavish blessings on us?  Do we owe God an apology and what is keeping us from going to Him in apology?  Perhaps starting with apologizing to Almighty God will lead us to other apologies?  I am heartily sorry, Lord.


  1. I recognize that admission of sin from the 1928 Episcopal Book of Common Prayer, Lulu. How many times did I read those words in church? Too many to count, and they so perfectly sum up what it means to apologize to God and others. Beautiful, poignant, meaningful words . . .

    1. We had a very similar confession in the Methodist church which I attended while growing up. I have most of these memorized I have said them so many times. It pays to slow down and really think about what you are saying. Beautiful-timeless words.
      Blessings, My Friend!

  2. These days an apology is seen as an admission of guilt. Say you bump into someone and he trips and you say "sorry!" An innocent word. He could sue you for damages. Better run before he recognises you or any witnesses see you near him!

    Another thing you could do, is to fall yourself, cry for help, and claim he pushed you! Make sure there are witnesses around!

    I'm afraid Lulu ... you caught me in one of my funny moods! I know your good post is serious. Thanx, my friend.

    God bless.

    1. Laughter is medicine for my soul, Victor. I am always thankful for your ability to get a laugh out of me. (By the way, my readers often ask about you).

  3. Seems I am sorry is easier than I am wrong. Sometimes I’m just sorry I got caught or that someone is miffed. Want to be a peacekeeper without admitting sin or wrongdoing. Even with God. Wondering the difference in apologizing and repenting? Thought provoking post!

  4. We were given an entire page of HOW to apologize. One of the things she mentioned was saying exactly what you are sorry for. NOW THAT makes one think! Thankful for your consistent input and urging me to think.
    Love you, My Friend!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!