WHAT NOW?

TWO long years of pandemic has been life altering.  For those of you who never took it seriously and never slowed down, I am thankful you are still with us.  For those (and there are many) who lost loved ones, I pray daily for your comfort as you grieve.  For those who are now dealing with the long haul - life altering effects of this monster, I pray for answers and solutions.  For those, like me, who were extremely cautious --trying to stop the spread---I have discovered lingering non-physical effects showing up.




Days of isolation which grew into weeks and expanded into months and eventually became years have had an effect upon who I am.  Finally the "Go" whistle has been blown and I find myself stuck on my couch and having a difficult time going back to my life of two years ago.  FULL STEAM AHEAD was my mantra before it all came to a screeching halt.  I was on a trip with one of the grands when it all started what seems like a lifetime ago.  My only trips in two years have been to visit with the grands.  THAT was more than worth the risk involved.  NOW I cannot seem to get my mojo going again and I am examining why.




My friends and family who have begun their traveling adventures again have come back with tales which give me pause.  Traveling was a hassle before, but now with all the testing and quarantining and irrational passengers--it is a nightmare.  My on going question is is this worth all the hoops you have to jump through?  I applaud those of you who are willing to suffer the rules and regulations to take a one week trip.  I actually had a trip all planned before this last outbreak with one of the grands--a driving trip.  Then we had the family COVID outbreak and that ended that.  I cannot seem to get the ball rolling to make those plans again.



 

I have only been in a restaurant a couple of times in two years.  Talking about the perfect atmosphere for spreading the virus.  Everyone has their mouth open---talking and eating.  It never seemed worth the risk.  My diet has morphed into home fare of the simple and quick variety.  Food has never been on the top of my list, though I can enjoy a good meal.  I always used dining out as an opportunity to socialize before the pandemic.  We will get to socializing next.  Last week I met my game night friends for dinner.  We eat during senior citizen hours and were placed in the middle of the room away from any other diners.  It was great to see "the girls" in person, but I had a difficult time following the conversation for several reasons.  When you sit at the end of the table you are limited in what you can hear, the noise of a crowded venue becomes a loud hum in my ears and I have a difficult time distinguishing the conversation next to me, and the food at home is better than what most restaurants offer.  SO--I am having a difficult time motivating myself to making those "eating dates".




My sister in law told my brother (we are a family of introverts) "This virus has played right into the hands of all you introverts".  To a huge degree she is correct.  One of the things I have learned during long months of isolation is I like myself and there are many things I enjoy doing.  I have tried new hobbies, read to my heart's content, watched old movies, piddled around, walked and walked, and on an on.  I truly have not been bored.  If I get lonely and feel the need for human contact, I take a walk around the hood and invariably find someone to have a short visit with.  I have had more time to concentrate on writing and actually started a new book (it was tossed in the can).  With finding this contentment, it has been difficult to get myself out the door and socializing again.  I truly love people--and do not have an answer for the why's of my lack of motivation of getting out that door.



 

I am hoping I have not morphed into the grumpy old woman we have all met at some point.  My patience seems to have shortened, my social muscles has waned, and my get up and go has flown out the door.  I am questioning many of the activities in my past and trying to make good choices for the future.  At this point in time, I hope if I expend energy doing something it is for good reasons.  I have had my eyes opened to how much time I was spending filling time with activity.  I have now learned the value of time recharging, communing with God, and pondering.  My prayer is, as the world once again opens up, I will be deliberate in how I do get going again.  I am asking that I am chose wisely how to expend my limited resource of time.  This pandemic has been a nightmare, but as with all things--it can be used for God's Good Purpose.  Perhaps He is allowing all of us to get a breath and reassess our priorities and our relationship with Him.  Time and history will tell what the lasting effects of this all are.

"For I consider the sufferings of this present time

are not worth comparing

with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Romans 8:18


2 comments

  1. Your dealings with the pandemic mirror ours so closely, Lulu. I do feel a lot of my get up and go got up and went, and it's difficult to get right back out there as if nothing has happened for two years. Being an introvert is very helpful, and I do hope that I've used the time I was given wisely, growing closer to God.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your life has been compounded by a serious illness, Friend! Give yourself some grace/ recovery comes first.
      Blessings!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!