The potential topics to blog about are kept on my faithful yellow pad.  I have had a yellow pad for years and have kept & thrown away enough lists to fill a recycle dumpster.  There is something so satisfying about crossing or checking things off my list.    As I was glancing over my short (God likes to remind me Who is truly giving me a topic) list, all 5 topics were worthy of discussion, BUT a topic which hit me on this morning's  Hero walk and is not on the list will not allow me to even ponder the others.  That is the way it works some days-I become fixated on one subject and it will not leave me alone until I have explored it.  Remember that word "FIXATED"---it will reappear soon in another post--it's on the list.  I just love it when I can stealthily segue into a future blog.  (DIGRESSING AGAIN!)

BACK to my point.  The season of life I find myself in sees my family and friend pool shrinking with some passing from this life.   I see lots of posts on social media about being in the process of losing a dear one or the agony of being in the midst of active grief from their loss.  We can talk all day long about the five stages of grief, what it looks like, and how to survive in the midst of it.  That is not going to be my approach----for I have come to a conclusion you may not want to hear~



Perhaps it sounds so understated, but grief is the by product of having loved someone deeply.  We miss their physical presence---sometimes more advertently than others, but the bottom line is there is a hole in our life and our heart.  A void created which cannot be filled.  That deep grief is a real reaction to our loss of that love.  Could it be that the best approach might be to honor our grief---and do something with it?  If it is going to always be a part of us---we are always going to deeply miss someone---could we not put that energy into action?  Could we find a way to honor our loved one--in recognition of the impact they had on our life?

A dear friend lost her adult daughter very tragically and suddenly.  Can we even begin to imagine a phone call in the wee hours of the night giving us this news?  Perhaps we would like to think--this is all a bad dream from which I will awake.  With time though and the constant reminders of the loss, we have to grow to accept the loss---and then the real process of grieving begins.  She and her husband have taken their grief and found a way to both honor that daughter's memory and constructively use their grief for God's purposes.  We have been instructed in The Word ~

"For I was hungry and you gave me food,

I was thirsty and you gave me drink,

I was a stranger and you welcomed me,

I was naked and you clothed me,"

Matthew 25:35-36

Their daughter had a love for those in need and faithfully acted upon her love by helping them.  They have taken their grief and created a food and provision pantry for the least of these.  They built a box and keep it supplied with provisions as noted in the scripture above.  AND they allow all of us to be a small part of their ministry and to honor their precious daughter by making donations of supplies.  AND then---they post the responses from those who are the  recipients.  YES--they will forever grieve their loss, but they also have found a way to remember and honor their daughter.  They are her living legacy of a life pursuing God by serving those in need.  And God reminds them of the rewards of their obedience by sending little God nudges such as this letter left in the pantry.  (Ashley is the daughter they lost and the pantry is named "Ashley's Pantry".) 

 What a tangible way for God to show them--He knows their grief---He holds their tears and He sees them serving Him to honor Ashley.  They have managed to turn their deep unspeakable grief into a labor of love which visibly acknowledges the love for their daughter.  Yes, she is still absent from this world, but her ministry lives on because of their devotion to this cause.  It has to give some small satisfaction when they are hit with a new wave of grief that Ashley is NOT forgotten.  There is a physical reminder of her and who she was in this pantry they keep supplied.  What a beautiful thank you to God for the blessing of their deep love for Ashley.

What can we do with our grief?  We could find a way to acknowledge our love for the one we lost.  A Thank You to God for the lost one and the love you shared.  What a blessing God gives us with our loved ones and how better to honor our love for them than by a tangible act of love?  Bottom line---grief is hard---but without love---would there be grief?


  1. This letter moved me so deeply, Lulu. Right now, my grands and their mom and dad are grieving the loss of their beloved cat, Henry, who passed away last Friday. I plan to write about this in Friday's blog. You've given me a way to help them live with their grief and do something in Henry's honor. What will that look like? I can't say, but I know they will come up with something.

    1. I have cried many a tear over my beloved pets, so completely understand. I would love the hear how they honor their Henry, Martha.


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!