There was a comment on the blog about hyper-fixation about what a boring world this would be if we were all the same. I totally agree! BUT this started the wheels turning. (Side note--I am so thankful for those who comment either on the blog (where you can be anonymous) or on Facebook (no such thing as anonymous on FB--LOL!) Often your comments take me deeper into the subject we are discussing---that is a WONDERFUL thing!
I have been thinking lately about those who may be disappointed in me--sometimes without me even realizing it. Perhaps I said too much, perhaps I did not say enough, perhaps I misspoke, perhaps my ignorance is showing-----on and on. There are those who feel I have not lived up to their expectations OR am wrong in my thinking. Here in the Deep South we are polite to a fault. Most of us are not going to let another know---from the get-go what we expect from them. That is our fault---if we did not express our expectations--then we deserve whatever we end up with. Often we know what we would do in a situation and when that example is ignored or not even acknowledged--we are disappointed.
Bear with me this is an OLD story. There was a friend who was really something special when it came time to acknowledging the birthdays of others. Their plan was nothing short of grand and they seemed to take great delight in pleasing those they celebrated. NOW for various reasons---when the day of their birth rolled around--there was nothing--as in nada---NO fanfare--no cake--I big fat goose egg. The day ended and they were hugely disappointed in the lack of acknowledgement from those who had benefited from their wonderful celebration of them. NOW---I do not blame them one bit for being disappointed--in fact angry. BUT--when we do things with the express idea that the favor with be reciprocated--we may be disappointed. Not all are gifted with thoughtfulness--and our expectations are based upon who we are---not who they are.
SO- while we all love the uniqueness of the world because we are all different--we also cannot expect everyone to react as we would. We should know we will be disappointed at times if we place unrealistic expectations upon those who are not wired like us.
As I thought this over, I realized--just as I have been disappointed because others did not handle a situation in the manner I would ----I have also deeply disappointed others. I thank God we are all uniquely made, but I also need to celebrate the difference---NOT become disgruntled over it. How many times has placing "ME" on the throne caused conflict --conflict which deflects from our true purpose. As my pastor said last week, "This is NOT about you." SO the next time you feel the disappointment boiling up---could you step back and reassess? Could we try to appreciate our differences and celebrate the one who has disappointed us? Could we evaluate why we are disappointed? Could we remember the gift of our uniqueness created for God's good purposes? Could we remember Who created us uniquely--and celebrate?
"YOU made me:
you created me.
Now give me the sense to follow your commands.
May all who fear you fine in me a cause for joy,
for I have put my hope in Your Word."
Psalm 119:73-74
Yes, Lulu, that type of disappointment can rear its ugly head when we least expect it if we allow ourselves to shape someone else's behavior into our own. And when we have a particular way of giving and celebrating others, let us not fall into the comparison trap. Great advice!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Exactly! Comparison is a slippery slope leading to disappointment.
DeleteBlessings, Martha!