We live in a world which not only allows, but encourages blame shifting.  I am guilty!  So much of my behavior, reactions, and day to day, I look to my past for the cause.  Immediately I respond, "Well, I did that because of the trauma-hurt-neglect-emotional pain---I experienced in my childhood, in my past, before I was even born.  It is easy to put the blame for our poor responses or bad behavior on our past---even those who went before us.  I laughingly say, "I come for a long line of depressed people".  Funny--YES---but some days it is NO joke.  The question becomes---while it is certainly helpful to understand why we behave as we do---what good does it do if we are stuck at the point of understanding, but not doing anything about it?

As I pondered this, it became apparent while we are quick to blame others and our past for our behavior.  I do not hear much mention of those same past experiences and those who went before us in inspiring our best behavior.  I was an accountant before I retired, but I never gave any credit to my mother and father who were business people their entire careers.  Neat and tidy are my middle name, but I fail to mention I learned this trait at my mother's knee.  For all those who are premier athletes, do you give credit to the one who drove you to all those practices, sat countless hours watching you perform, and poured a great deal of the family funds into giving you the best shot?

A prime example, for me, is my education.  It was expected of me to graduate from college.  It did not come without a struggle-physically, emotionally and financially.   When I speak of my degree, I talk about all the work I put in to get that piece of paper.  How I finished a degree while a single mother of a toddler.  I fail to mention, EVER, my mother's part in inspiring me, prodding me, and ultimately being extremely proud of that accomplishment.  I let the past negatives not only cloud but overshadow her part in that achievement.  Shame on me!

Bottom line---it is a really good thing to understand ourselves and acknowledge how our past can--if allowed--influence our actions.  The problem begins when we don't learn and move forward, but instead dwell on it.  We all need to suck it up buttercup---learn from the past and make appropriate changes today to influence our future.  Get over it.  What is in the past--is just that--in the past.  There is nothing which will change it, but we do have the opportunity to change today by moving forward with a good attitude.   Remember that recent blog--the three questions which identify us?  ATTITUDE was in the big three.  It is important--and never too late to make a change.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-

his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2


  1. I can identify with this, too, Lulu. We must own up to our own mistakes and not blame them on the way we were raised or how we were treated in the past. We need to be honest with ourselves and ask God's forgiveness when we blame others for our own sin.

    1. AMEN, Martha. I almost think society encourages us to look beyond ourselves!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!