THIS IS
MY PRAYER
FOR YOU
BLESSED SABBATH,
DEAR FRIENDS
MEANWHILE HERE IN THE HOOD
Saturday, October 14, 2017
I was a little nervous about what I would write about the local hood once I moved to the innocence of small town living. An old friend invited me to join a group on Facebook "Ruston Rants". He assured me there would be plenty of writing fodder.
A closed group of an intimate 14,198, you are not allowed to be a part of the fun unless you have Ruston or Lincoln Parish ties. I would write about it, but I don't even know where to begin. There are some ANGRY people here in small sleepy North Louisiana. Not only are they angry, but they also feel the need to publicize all their grievances on this Facebook page. I am astounded!
The big news in The New Hood is the land behind this small neighborhood has been clear cut. In case you are from the city and do not understand--ALL the beautiful trees have been cut for acres. The logging company leaves no sign of green behind. What once was a beautiful curtain shielding us from the outside world has been systematically cut down. We are exposed! The neighbors are not happy--but what can you do? If you own the property, you can do as you will. Sadly, it will take years for there to be any semblance of the beauty of the forest.
Halloween is approaching and signs of the approaching free for all have begun to appear in the neighbor's yards. I'm no especially fond of this holiday, but always have candy on hand for the visiting parade of ghosts and goblins.
Hero, The Wonder Dog, is still psychotic, but he is slowly adapting to his new home. He recognizes his house and turns in the drive and heads for the door when we go for walks. Not so sure we are making friends and impressing the neighbors since we ALWAYS have a hissy fit when we see their dogs and cats.
The calendar may say Fall, but the temperature is still summer. Thankfully it is a LITTLE cooler at night. Will I ever get to use the outdoor fireplace??
Sure do miss these little people. We facetime a couple of times a week, but that doesn't make up for the hugs and kisses I am missing!
If you see me, give me a hug and tell me it's for the grands!
A closed group of an intimate 14,198, you are not allowed to be a part of the fun unless you have Ruston or Lincoln Parish ties. I would write about it, but I don't even know where to begin. There are some ANGRY people here in small sleepy North Louisiana. Not only are they angry, but they also feel the need to publicize all their grievances on this Facebook page. I am astounded!
The big news in The New Hood is the land behind this small neighborhood has been clear cut. In case you are from the city and do not understand--ALL the beautiful trees have been cut for acres. The logging company leaves no sign of green behind. What once was a beautiful curtain shielding us from the outside world has been systematically cut down. We are exposed! The neighbors are not happy--but what can you do? If you own the property, you can do as you will. Sadly, it will take years for there to be any semblance of the beauty of the forest.
Halloween is approaching and signs of the approaching free for all have begun to appear in the neighbor's yards. I'm no especially fond of this holiday, but always have candy on hand for the visiting parade of ghosts and goblins.
Hero, The Wonder Dog, is still psychotic, but he is slowly adapting to his new home. He recognizes his house and turns in the drive and heads for the door when we go for walks. Not so sure we are making friends and impressing the neighbors since we ALWAYS have a hissy fit when we see their dogs and cats.
The calendar may say Fall, but the temperature is still summer. Thankfully it is a LITTLE cooler at night. Will I ever get to use the outdoor fireplace??
Sure do miss these little people. We facetime a couple of times a week, but that doesn't make up for the hugs and kisses I am missing!
If you see me, give me a hug and tell me it's for the grands!
HUNTING FOR THE FALL---HERE IN THE HOOD!
FINALLY FRIDAY
Friday, October 13, 2017
It is now OFFICIAL---I am indeed a resident of my home state of Louisiana. The DMV says so!
It ONLY took three trips to two offices of the DMV to establish my official proof of being a citizen of the Great State of Louisiana. Considering what I went through when transferring to Texas, I consider this a bureaucratic miracle. All you have to do to obtain a license is take along every piece of paper you have ever received proving you were indeed born and proof that you DO have a house of some shape, form, or fashion. THAT and a BOAT LOAD of money will get you a license plate and driver's license.
Obviously the DMV employee who takes the pictures for our license transferred from the state prison admission's office for death row inmates. Haniball Lecter's picture made him look quite normal compared to my latest license. AND---I get to look at it for SIX long years. It is so bad they may question it being me when presenting it as identification or possibly question whether I am indeed suffering from a terminal illness. WHY do I always have my eyes shut and WHERE did that double chin come from? It's GOOD to be known around the town of Ruston and HOPEFULLY NOT asked for identification.
It ONLY took three trips to two offices of the DMV to establish my official proof of being a citizen of the Great State of Louisiana. Considering what I went through when transferring to Texas, I consider this a bureaucratic miracle. All you have to do to obtain a license is take along every piece of paper you have ever received proving you were indeed born and proof that you DO have a house of some shape, form, or fashion. THAT and a BOAT LOAD of money will get you a license plate and driver's license.
Obviously the DMV employee who takes the pictures for our license transferred from the state prison admission's office for death row inmates. Haniball Lecter's picture made him look quite normal compared to my latest license. AND---I get to look at it for SIX long years. It is so bad they may question it being me when presenting it as identification or possibly question whether I am indeed suffering from a terminal illness. WHY do I always have my eyes shut and WHERE did that double chin come from? It's GOOD to be known around the town of Ruston and HOPEFULLY NOT asked for identification.
Further proof of being back in the verdant state of Louisiana is one leg being covered by poison ivy rash. WHO KNOWS WHERE I came into contact with this wonderful vine. Could be in my own flower beds or on my walks in the park--YOU NEVER KNOW--especially since poison ivy looses its leaves long before anything else. Unfortunately the vine still causes the rash. It leaves me clawing at my leg in the privacy of my own home and trying to subtlety scratch when out in public. Subtlety is not my strong suit.
The other leg has fire ant bites all over it. It seems I stood in a fire ant bed while Hero sniffed every blade of grass in the ditch . NO PEOPLE---this is NOT my leg. I HAVE shaved my legs--at least once since I moved!
SO YOU SEE---I am official---the real deal---bona fide--and certifiable (NOT A MISTAKE) citizen of the GREAT STATE of Louisiana!
It's GOOD to be home and I am thankful it is Friday!
WHO IS IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT?
Monday, October 9, 2017
The world has gone slap dab crazy! The media---all kinds of media--confirm this fact blow by blow--moment by moment. The headlines scream of disaster, tragedy, despair, lying, cheating, no good politics, and on and on. I remembered why I quit watching the news a few years ago when I began watching once again. I just could not take one more sad-mad-bad story.
My talks with dear friends have further confirmed the sad state of affairs in which we live in the midst. Death, disease, destruction, decline of all kinds fill our hearts with fear and dread. The phone ringing or the latest news break interrupting seems to mean only one thing--MORE BAD NEWS!
We all know those narcissistic-psychotic-neurotic --hanging on to sanity by one shear thread neighbors down the street. Those who abuse, threaten, use, terrorize, and victimize the world in general. Those individuals who deny the voice of reason and cling to the sound of crazy.
IT"S ENOUGH TO DRIVE THE MOST SANE OF US CRAZY!
It will drive you to the edge of despair---or drive you to Jesus. I much prefer Jesus. When the world turns ugly---when your neighbor becomes a crazed homicidal lunatic---when there is no answer and you are absolutely helpless. There is help in Jesus.
He has been the closest---I have most felt His presence---I have known His comfort--when I was absolutely at my lowest. All I had to do was cry out to Him---and He answered in a real--sometimes tangible--always comforting way. HE IS WITH ME! I can let the world drive me over the edge--or allow Jesus to take the wheel and steer me toward the hope that rests in Him. Who is in the driver's seat?
My talks with dear friends have further confirmed the sad state of affairs in which we live in the midst. Death, disease, destruction, decline of all kinds fill our hearts with fear and dread. The phone ringing or the latest news break interrupting seems to mean only one thing--MORE BAD NEWS!
We all know those narcissistic-psychotic-neurotic --hanging on to sanity by one shear thread neighbors down the street. Those who abuse, threaten, use, terrorize, and victimize the world in general. Those individuals who deny the voice of reason and cling to the sound of crazy.
IT"S ENOUGH TO DRIVE THE MOST SANE OF US CRAZY!
It will drive you to the edge of despair---or drive you to Jesus. I much prefer Jesus. When the world turns ugly---when your neighbor becomes a crazed homicidal lunatic---when there is no answer and you are absolutely helpless. There is help in Jesus.
He has been the closest---I have most felt His presence---I have known His comfort--when I was absolutely at my lowest. All I had to do was cry out to Him---and He answered in a real--sometimes tangible--always comforting way. HE IS WITH ME! I can let the world drive me over the edge--or allow Jesus to take the wheel and steer me toward the hope that rests in Him. Who is in the driver's seat?
HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING
Sunday, October 8, 2017
WHAT THOUGH MY JOYS
AND COMFORTS DIE?
THE LORD MY SAVIOR LIVETH
WHAT THOUGH THE DARKNESS
GATHER ROUND?
SONGS IN THE NIGHT HE GIVETH
BLESSED SABBATH,
DEAR FRIENDS
CONFESSIONS OF AN ADDICT
Thursday, October 5, 2017
I am back in my former "Really Small Group" I wrote about in my book. It is small enough to be honest and transparent with one another without fear. We are studying a book, that I must confess, I was not very excited over. In the very early weeks of the study, God is using it to teach me--drag me along--even with my heels firmly dug in--He is revealing new truths to me.
Though the book is NOT about shame---somehow I came away from the first discussion with revelations about the destructive power of shame in my life. I laughingly told the others, in today's culture, what has shamed me so grievously would be laughingly passed off as "Is that all you've got?" today. It is NOT small potatoes to me. I have given it free rein to rule who I am for far too long and it has managed to stifle and obscure the important truths of Who God Is and What He says about me.
I need to attend a weekly meeting and stand up before all my fellow addicts and announce, "Hi, I'm Lora and I am addicted to approval." I have spent a great deal of my life seeking approval to atone for past mistakes and current life status. My focus has been on being good enough to negate the past and the truth is---I could NEVER be good enough. I love the words from the Communion Ritual repeated in the Methodist Church, "I am not worthy enough to even gather up the crumbs under thy table." I am a sinner---and only by His grace am I worthy to approach the table.
The rejection of a few has fueled the compulsion for approval. No matter how many wonderful friends I am blessed with---I hunger and thirst for more and more. I have allowed a handful of rejections to cloud my vision of the blessing of the love of many, but especially the love of God. When I look in the mirror, when I replay past scenes, I often dwell on the negative and ignore the positive. Though God has forgiven me, I have not forgiven myself. I have negated the wonderful thing He has done for me by refusing to accept His sacrifice as being enough. When I refuse to leave behind the shame, I am not accepting His gift of grace. In my stark refusal to surrender my shame, I am saying there is something I can do to atone for my mistakes. WRONG---WRONG---WRONG--on so many fronts this is wrong thinking!
SO how do we surrender our mistakes, leave our sins behind? We've followed the instructions, done all the steps, and yet we are still plagued by shame. I have found it necessary to surrender my shame to Him--more than once--sometimes almost daily. I have to be willing to let it go---allow Him to take it---remember what He has done for me and live beyond my narcissistic shame. YES--shame is narcissistic. By allowing shame to shape who we are, we are putting more emphasis on us and our actions than on Him and His mercy. By God's grace and with His help---I will leave shame behind and glory in His approval.
Though the book is NOT about shame---somehow I came away from the first discussion with revelations about the destructive power of shame in my life. I laughingly told the others, in today's culture, what has shamed me so grievously would be laughingly passed off as "Is that all you've got?" today. It is NOT small potatoes to me. I have given it free rein to rule who I am for far too long and it has managed to stifle and obscure the important truths of Who God Is and What He says about me.
I need to attend a weekly meeting and stand up before all my fellow addicts and announce, "Hi, I'm Lora and I am addicted to approval." I have spent a great deal of my life seeking approval to atone for past mistakes and current life status. My focus has been on being good enough to negate the past and the truth is---I could NEVER be good enough. I love the words from the Communion Ritual repeated in the Methodist Church, "I am not worthy enough to even gather up the crumbs under thy table." I am a sinner---and only by His grace am I worthy to approach the table.
The rejection of a few has fueled the compulsion for approval. No matter how many wonderful friends I am blessed with---I hunger and thirst for more and more. I have allowed a handful of rejections to cloud my vision of the blessing of the love of many, but especially the love of God. When I look in the mirror, when I replay past scenes, I often dwell on the negative and ignore the positive. Though God has forgiven me, I have not forgiven myself. I have negated the wonderful thing He has done for me by refusing to accept His sacrifice as being enough. When I refuse to leave behind the shame, I am not accepting His gift of grace. In my stark refusal to surrender my shame, I am saying there is something I can do to atone for my mistakes. WRONG---WRONG---WRONG--on so many fronts this is wrong thinking!
SO how do we surrender our mistakes, leave our sins behind? We've followed the instructions, done all the steps, and yet we are still plagued by shame. I have found it necessary to surrender my shame to Him--more than once--sometimes almost daily. I have to be willing to let it go---allow Him to take it---remember what He has done for me and live beyond my narcissistic shame. YES--shame is narcissistic. By allowing shame to shape who we are, we are putting more emphasis on us and our actions than on Him and His mercy. By God's grace and with His help---I will leave shame behind and glory in His approval.
For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?
Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men,
I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
Post Script---GIVE ME JESUS
Post Script---GIVE ME JESUS
PRACTICING ENOUGH
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Occasionally I hear a statement which hits me smack dab between the eyes. During the message Sunday, I was bowled over when the pastor asked, "Do you ever experience God not being enough?" OH MY! This has rolled around and around in my thoughts. THIS WAS NOT even the point of the teaching--but it was my primary take away. God works like that!
The more I have contemplated, the more I have come to one conclusion--
We must practice experiencing enough--in all areas of our lives---to understand how to draw upon the concept of God being enough.
Eating is a very good example. I try to make it a habit when I have had enough to eat to stop. Push that plate away and cease and desist with the gorging. It works well for me, but when I loose sight of being sated and allow my gluttony to rule the meal---I ALWAYS PAY!
Our age of consumerism is another prime example of never allowing ourselves to experience "Enough". Bigger and bigger houses; cars, cars and better cars; clothes to the point of bulging closets---you name it and we have gone over-board. We have gone from the day when an outdoor kitchen was the bane of man to the must have of all the latest and greatest in our outdoor kitchens. Somehow duplicating all the bells and whistles of our indoor kitchen in the great outdoors has become a marvelous idea. No nation is as consumed with consumerism as our great nation. Even in the small town of Ruston, we have stores upon stores filled with retail enticements luring us into the "Never Enough" trap.
Cell phones and personal electronic devices are a great example of how things get out of control. I have a lap top, a cell phone, and a kindle which is similar to a tablet. Sit in any waiting room and look around you--everyone is glued to their cell phone. We have all become plugged in and tuned out to the world around us. We cannot get enough of social media!
As I thought all of this over, I began to understand contentment and satisfaction need to be practiced to learn how to experience it. Just as we practice over and over to get the best golf stroke, souffle, painting, or whatever-we must practice experiencing enough in our day to day life to experience the feeling of contentment in all areas of our lives.
When I first heard the question posed, my heart sank. I do not walk around in a constant state of knowing God is enough. My head knows it, and my heart has experienced it, but the world has a way of clouding the truth. I loose sight of that truth--HE IS ENOUGH.
I need to practice recognizing the truth of God being Enough. With practice, I will then develop "Spiritual Memory". When times are hectic, the world is racing by, and malcontent has raised its ugly head, I can call upon the spiritual memory---of God is enough. Falling back upon the truth of His fullness, completeness and faithfulness, I will remember---What more could I need?---
The more I have contemplated, the more I have come to one conclusion--
We must practice experiencing enough--in all areas of our lives---to understand how to draw upon the concept of God being enough.
Eating is a very good example. I try to make it a habit when I have had enough to eat to stop. Push that plate away and cease and desist with the gorging. It works well for me, but when I loose sight of being sated and allow my gluttony to rule the meal---I ALWAYS PAY!
Our age of consumerism is another prime example of never allowing ourselves to experience "Enough". Bigger and bigger houses; cars, cars and better cars; clothes to the point of bulging closets---you name it and we have gone over-board. We have gone from the day when an outdoor kitchen was the bane of man to the must have of all the latest and greatest in our outdoor kitchens. Somehow duplicating all the bells and whistles of our indoor kitchen in the great outdoors has become a marvelous idea. No nation is as consumed with consumerism as our great nation. Even in the small town of Ruston, we have stores upon stores filled with retail enticements luring us into the "Never Enough" trap.
Cell phones and personal electronic devices are a great example of how things get out of control. I have a lap top, a cell phone, and a kindle which is similar to a tablet. Sit in any waiting room and look around you--everyone is glued to their cell phone. We have all become plugged in and tuned out to the world around us. We cannot get enough of social media!
As I thought all of this over, I began to understand contentment and satisfaction need to be practiced to learn how to experience it. Just as we practice over and over to get the best golf stroke, souffle, painting, or whatever-we must practice experiencing enough in our day to day life to experience the feeling of contentment in all areas of our lives.
When I first heard the question posed, my heart sank. I do not walk around in a constant state of knowing God is enough. My head knows it, and my heart has experienced it, but the world has a way of clouding the truth. I loose sight of that truth--HE IS ENOUGH.
I need to practice recognizing the truth of God being Enough. With practice, I will then develop "Spiritual Memory". When times are hectic, the world is racing by, and malcontent has raised its ugly head, I can call upon the spiritual memory---of God is enough. Falling back upon the truth of His fullness, completeness and faithfulness, I will remember---What more could I need?---
HE IS ENOUGH
5 You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands.
6 How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are!
7 I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me.
8 I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me.
9 And so I am thankful and glad, and I feel completely secure,
10 because you protect me from the power of death. I have served you faithfully, and you will not abandon me to the world of the dead.
11 You will show me the path that leads to life; your presence fills me with joy and brings me pleasure forever.
Psalms 16:5-11
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