LESSONS FROM THE THREE AMIGOS

The Three Amigos or Three Stooges, depending upon the moment, were loads of fun and exhausting at the same time.  They also are wise beyond their years and ask deep questions while giving interesting insight into the world.

One thing amazing about automobile trips is the conversations.  Some of my best talks--especially with the opposite sex -have been during long car trips. When  trapped the male of the species will finally enter into a conversation, which usually proves to be very productive and quite enjoyable. While traveling, one of the boys announced Lulu should get married again.  As I tried to explain to him why that would probably not happen, another of the grands chimed in and told me it is against God's Law for divorced people to marry.  I then tried to explain there were times God did not frown on you marrying following divorce. Trying to explain that without giving the reasons behind Biblical divorce was not easy.  This also lead to a conversation about grace and exactly what grace looks like.  The third grand sat back there and just listened without making a single comment.

WHAT a conversation!  They are 9, 7, and 5--I knew this subject would come up one day, but really thought it would be much later.  I have been alone since the second one was a small baby, so they have no memory of me ever being married.  And yet--they are asking the questions because their other grandparents have always been together.  They have figured out that is what it is supposed to look like and are wondering why I am alone.

As I thought over the conversation, it occurred to me how much this looks like the world.  Part of the world thinks just move on with your life and live and let live; another part has strong opinions based upon firm opinions based upon legalistic thinking; and the other part--well they may be taking it all in, but don't care or don't have an opinion they are ready to express.  Most of the time, most of us fall into the third group--unless we have a dog in the fight or cannot stand to not share our opinions.  What we often leave out of the equation is grace.  We all want to  be judged based upon grace, but are not always so free with dispensing grace to others.

It really delights me that they feel free to tell me what they are thinking and ask questions.  My little legalistic grand will be fine, I talked with him several times about grace, and his mom will do the same.  The one who wants me to marry I suspect thinks that is the way to be happy--since the marriages around him are great examples of good marriages--he wants Lulu to be happy.  The other one, I suspect is taking it all in and we will have a talk someday about it.  He may be a great deal like his Lulu--and need to process before discussing.

One important thing is I affirmed each of them in what they were thinking and did not automatically say, "You are wrong!"  I opened the door for another opinion without totally shooting them out of the water for their opinions.  How much better would the world be if we acknowledged the validity of different points of view?  Our perceptions are always skewed by the eyes we are looking through.  We can all look at the same scene and each of us have a different version of what we saw.

SO in a round about way, I am reminding myself to always listen to what others have to say, give credit to their right to have a different opinion with no fear of my opinion being diminished.  What a peaceful world this would be if we could only be kind to each other.

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, 

and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

Titus 3:2

LESSONS FROM LUCY

Lucy is three.  Anyone who has ever had a three year old in their home, will understand what I mean when I tell you she acts just like a three year old.  She can turn into a pout faster than I can snatch the last cookie.  This pout can then become a full blown hissy fit if not nipped in the bud.  Even with intentional nipping, it can become a whirling dervish of unhappy.  Most of the time there is only one antidote, ignore it and let it blow over or play out--which ever comes first.  Diverting her attention also works and a good tickle always disarms the worst fit.

Last night on the way to dinner with a friend, I had my own hissy fit.  Channeling my inner three year old, I threw a royal fit because this does not look like I thought it should.  Now I have looked around and come to the conclusion all the rest of you live on Easy Street, while I am headed down to the Dead End on Hard Road.  I spent a few minutes ranting and raving over the unfairness of life and questioning the injustice of it all.  

Wisely, my friend let me blow off steam without saying a word.  When I finally settled into a gentle breeze, we both had a great laugh over my three year old fit.  Did it help?  Well it certainly did not change anything about my circumstance~it is what it is.  It did allow me to let go of some things I had stuffed way down deep.  I'm fine is my mantra, and I seldom allow myself to blow off steam over the unfairness of life.  NOW~I am not going to walk around being Debbie Downer (Sorry Debbie), but an occasional hissy fit with a trusted friend does more good than harm.  I always feel better after airing the built up frustrations, and also always come away with a fresh perspective on how blessed I am.  SO perhaps Lucy is on to something~an occasional hissy fit may be just the medicine the doctor ordered and a good cleansing laugh afterward is the tonic to begin again.  Little Lucy is a great teacher!

WELL, Friends, I pick up the Three Amigos today for a week of fun.  Larry, Moe and Curly will consume all my time and attention, so no blog for a week.  BUT THINK of all the material those three will give me!!

11 I also saw other things in this life that were not fair. The fastest runner does not always win the race; the strongest soldier does not always win the battle; wise people don’t always get the food; smart people don’t always get the wealth; educated people don’t always get the praise they deserve. When the time comes, bad things can happen to anyone!

Ecclesiastes 9:11

LESSONS FROM LUCY

This one lives in a house with three brothers, a big dog, and mama and daddy.

With all these people and dog comes mess.  Her mom is on a mission at the end of everyday to pick up what they have messed up.  There are spills and calamities almost daily.  Pristine is impossible when you put this many living beings in a confined space.  And then she comes to my house.  I try---really try to live in cleanliness and order.  With only Hero and me, the big challenge is the dog hair.  Add to that this time of the year he is shedding big time, and you have a daily run of the vacuum~at a minimum.

This one can be covered in blue icing from top to bottom and sitting in a bed of cookie crumbs and not think a thing about it, BUT let one little dog hair get on her hand and she is NOT happy!  As I vacuumed everyday, she would walk around and point out the dog hairs, lest I miss ONE!  When she reached down to pet Hero she would immediately look at her hand to see if she had a dog hair on it.  It took me three days to convince her to take a bath, (WE DID SPONGE OFF!), but WOE unto me if she got ONE dog hair on her!  AND to top that off, she went into fits of giggles when he licked her FACE~we ALL know what else he licks--GROSS!!

This reminds me of myself, I can be totally oblivious to the sin sty surrounding me, but WOE unto you if you try to entice me to gossip.  I cannot abide gossip and will quickly point out the error of our ways if gossip comes up.  I am brushing off and moving on with my nose in the air over the error of your ways.  Never mind that the dust and dirt of my daily sin is clinging to me with a death grip, I don't want to be accused of gossiping!

Bless Lucy's heart, she was so engrossed in where there was dog hair, she didn't even realize she was a living~walking~pigpen.  It's always easier to dwell on one little thing than to look at the big picture and see the piles of debris and bodies surrounding us.  When searching for dog hairs, don't forget to clean up the rest of the mess too!  Dirt is dirt~whatever the shape or form--it all is dirt.

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 

2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, 

and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye 

and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 

4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 

5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, 

and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5

LESSONS FROM LUCY

This little live wire recently came for a visit~

I spent a week getting a crash course on all things three year old girls love.  It has been a LONG time since her mom was three and I must admit this one is a chip off the old block.

One of the many things we did daily was watch a movie or cartoon (in hopes of Lulu getting a little rest).  There seems to be a common theme in movies for little girls~there is always a mean girl.  OH, you know the type--it is all about me--I will walk over you to get what I want--playing dirty is my middle name.  Most of us have encountered a mean girl at some point in our life.  Stabs in the back and back handed compliments are their specialty.  Why you know what a back handed compliment is~  "Thank goodness you look better than the last time I saw you when you looked like an Ethiopian Refugee."  I guess that is good--I no longer look like I am knocking on death's door.  

Snarky nice to your face and your worst nightmare behind your back as they dissect you and feed you to the vultures circling around them.  Mean girls are a force to be avoided at all cost.  If you are not in their chosen friend pool, you are fair game.  To be in the chosen friend pool, you have to agree and go along with whatever they say~however mean and low it may be.  Their enemies are your enemies and bullying passively and aggressively is their specialty.

Here is what I have learned over a long life concerning mean girls and bullies.  Feel sorry for them.  WHY would anyone need to belittle, attack, and smear another?  Because they do not feel good about themselves.  With a poor self image, comes the need to drag all others in their wake down to their low self esteem.  If I am not good-pretty-smart-popular, then I will make sure you are not either, is the name of the game.  Rather than celebrating the successes and accomplishments of others, they attack and attempt to debase.  Rather than being satisfied with all they have and have accomplished, they crave what others have too.  There is never enough and their appetite for more is insatiable.  They want everything on their plate and then everything on your plate and on and on.  When they don't accomplish all they would like, then they hold anything others have accomplished in disdain.  It is a sad existence.  Feel sorry for those mean girls and you disarm their attack.  Turn the other cheek and walk away for their attack is only successful if you care.

And then there is the lesson Beth Moore taught me while attending one of her conferences, "Pray for Them".  WHAT--you gotta be kidding me!!!  I was convicted and though I did not know what to pray---I lifted the mean girls in my life before God's throne.  Admitting I did not know how to pray, I put their name before Him and the rest was up to Him.  Though I had been a victim of the mean girl's attack, I forgave, and moved on, staying out of their wake.

As I have gotten older, I have learned to be nice, but avoid the mean girls in life.  There are far too many sweet girls to surround one self with to allow a mean girl to hold any influence in your life.  She takes what is yours~let her have it and good riddance.  She speaks disparagingly of you, consider the source~most of us know whom we can trust with telling us the truth.  As Mama would have said, "She is making her bed and she will have to sleep in it."  WHOA to the mean girls out there---Mama has spoken!  And above all pray for them, for they know no peace.

“There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.”

Isaiah 48:22

SO WILL I

IF CREATION SINGS YOUR PRAISES,

SO WILL I

SABBATH BLESSINGS, MY DEAR FRIENDS

PROPER ALIGNMENT

Recently I was asked a very leading question to which I replied, "My head knows the truth, but my heart is still not certain."  AH, the age old dilemma of the head and the heart.  Which one leads, which one tells the truth, which one can you trust?

I consider my head to be slightly above average and trust my thought processes to give me good answers.  My heart is not always so reliable.  My heart strings are easily tugged and I am subject to acting without thinking when I allow my heart to lead.  I derive great joy, most of the time, when I follow my heart, but that is not always the case.  There is always the risk of great pain when I listen to the yearnings of my heart without first thinking it through.  NOW, our heads will warn us when we are in danger of pain, for it draws from past experiences, but our hearts are also reliable in drawing us toward great joy.  The disconnect comes when our hearts ignore logic and history, and we step back up to the plate for another round without thought.  We will either strike out or hit a home run, but unless we are willing to bat we will never know which.  Our choice becomes take a risk--follow our hearts and perhaps experience great joy, or listen to our heads and play it safe--never knowing what we might have missed.  There is risk--but our heads should help us evaluate that risk and sometimes we discover it paid to step out and follow our hearts.  I love the old adage, "Nothing ventured-nothing gained."

Following cataract surgery there are only two rules,

Don't lift more than twenty pounds.

Keep your head above your heart.  (Don't bend over)

This has lead to a week of deep knee bends following each surgery.  The deep knee bends are really good for my over all heart condition.  I would be much better off trying to keep my head above my heart more often.  As I do those deep knee bends to keep from throwing a lens, miraculously my heart is strengthened to serve me better.  Perhaps if I were bending down onto my knees more often, it would become clearer when I should listen to my head or follow my heart.  Perhaps if I remembered to keep my head and heart in proper alignment, by seeking the counsel of the One who created my head and heart my decisions would be better.  Perhaps the proper alignment is head above heart with God above all.  Perhaps.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,

 who gives generously to all without reproach,

 and it will be given him.

James 1:5

I PROMISE

When the world seems hopeless

When there seems to be no answers

When you are so far down in the pit, and not even a glimmer of light

It will get better, I promise.

When you think it is only you

When your plan is no plan

When there is no hope and you are totally helpless

It will get better, I promise.

When you feel totally alone

When no one could possibly understand

When you want to crawl into a dark hole

It will get better, I promise.

When there seems to be no reason to try

When dismay is your mantle

When you wonder, "Why me?"

It will get better, I promise.

I promise others understand

I promise you are never alone

I promise the sun will continue to shine

I promise it will get better.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am burdened for those who are in seasons of darkness and praying they will remember it will get better---hang on---hold tight---it will get better.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;

 do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

 I will strengthen you and help you; 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10