This blog will discuss with explicit intimacy---please back out of the blog and do not read--if for any reason you might find it offensive.

The largest loss in my singleness--without a moment's hesitation is the loss of intimacy--emotional intimacy which is expressed in many ways--including sexually.  No one ever knows you at a deeper level than your spouse--you share it all--know each other's secrets--understand the level of emotion being experienced without a word said--can finish each other's sentences--have the same thoughts at the very same time.  This comes from the level of intimacy that only a husband and wife experience.  When your marriage begins to fall apart, so does that level of intimacy.

I miss someone putting their hand on my back to guide me, opening doors for me, reaching for my hand, holding me, touching me with a look from their eyes.  I miss hello and goodbye kisses and hugs I so desperately need at times.   I miss someone to snuggle up to when the nights are cold and the sheets are freezing.  I just miss the tenderness of the human touch.   No relationship here on this earth compares to marriage---God created us to be in partnership--to leave and cleave as The Book states.  God comes first, then your spouse, then your family---on down the line---but after God he expects us to put our top relational priority in our spouse. 

Here is the kicker---I like most of you--- am not dead---my blood still flows warmly--I still have desires and needs---but that is not part of my life anymore.  With that said, because of my relationship with The Father, when I put on the mantle of Christ all my past sins were forgiven and forgotten-but now that I am a new creation, I also am not free to casually seek intimacy.  Something tells me--intimacy without commitment as instructed in The Word--is not the same--frankly it is just sex. SO I live a life of celibacy---to honor my Creator by obeying His Word and to not give cause for any speculation of blemish on Christ's Perfect Name.  God specifically commands celibacy when we are not joined in Christian marriage many places in His Word--including I Thessalonians 4.  Once we proclaim Him as our Savior--then we are instructed to seek His will for our lives which is found in His Book--which is for our own best.  Any life outside His proclamations leads to call for question by unbelievers. We suffer the risk of being hypocritical.

Staying busy helps with this loss and I exercise to work off all that energy.  I once laughed and said "No matter what they did, I let my teens play ball to burn off their sexual energy."  Exhaustion helps me put my head down and sleep --the sleep of the weary.  I guess I too am burning off all my energy.

SO---God has me in a celibate life now---I miss intimacy--a great deal--but with time--the sorrow for that loss has gotten better. I am by NO means judging anyone else--I am telling you where I stand with what I know.   I spend a lot of time talking with God---for He knows me better than any spouse could ever pretend to.  He knows my thoughts--he knows my needs---and He is my provider.  He will never tempt me beyond my capability - with His help - of bearing the temptation.  My intimacy with Him is far deeper--far more satisfying than any earthly relationship.  He is my faithful lover.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
II Corinthians 5:17

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
I Corinthians 10:13

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