One of my dear sweet-loved ones contacted me recently and asked a leading question.  A question that I spent a night mulling over before replying--for it is a very sensitive and emotionally charged issue.  They asked me, "Is it wrong to wear my wedding rings, when my marriage seems to be over and my spouse has moved on?"  Is there even a right or wrong answer to this symbolic admission to the end of a marriage?

My reply began with the reminder that our outer adornments are often an indication of our heart.  They are hesitant to take off their wedding rings--because their heart desires the continuation of the marriage and family.  I also told them that it takes two to make a marriage, and wearing a wedding ring does not make a marriage.  If one of the two has left the marriage--resumed life as a single person or begun another relationship--there are no longer two--and one does not make a marriage.  The rings at this time become null of meaning and no longer symbols of the marriage, but only reminders of the past and what had been.  I do understand, as my sweet Camille reminded me recently over another symbol of marriage, it is still part of our history.

 I have great respect for those who have lost their spouses to death and continue to wear their wedding rings.  It is a clear indication this marriage is continuing--even with one no longer physically here on this earth---that is an entirely different issue.  Neither spouse ever desired to leave the other and the marriage is intact--even with one gone ahead.

If we strip ourselves of all external adornment, what is left is the real us.  What do others see when they gaze upon us naked of symbols and adornment?  When they look in our eyes--gaze upon our face---do they see the beauty of Christ or only a blank canvas?  There will come a day when we all will be stripped of all adornment and symbols of whom we desire the world to see us as---what then?  We all will go before the throne without accompaniment and face judgement naked of worldly symbols.  Will The Father gaze upon Christ when He looks to us in judgement--or will the Father see an empty canvas stripped of adornment and guilty in His sight?  A full circle of thoughts--just as the ring is a full circle of commitment--adornments of marriage--symbolic of God's desire for a continuation of our earthly marriages and well as the marriage of Christ to the church--intended for eternal purpose.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; "
Ephesians 5;27-28


  1. oh my ... this is powerful, Lulu. And that photo of that sweet hand, naked and unadorned ... there are no words.

    may there be a new adorning, new symbols of life, of hope, of joy, for those hands, for those hearts.

  2. "When we strip ourselves of all external adornment, what is left is the real us." So true. After a painful break up, I had J painted on my ring finger nail as a symbol of Jesus, reminding who I am in Christ. And that He is my first commitment.

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!