In two short days, I read and heard two poignant references to denial. When a topic presents itself in rapid fire succession, I know He is telling me something. Trying to get my attention and grab my thoughts---the Great God of the Universe--takes the time to speak to me and teach me---I am beyond blessed.
I have lived in many states of denial during my years here on this earth. Denial caused from my unwillingness to admit the truth. When the truth is not what you want to hear or expect life to look like, it sometimes was easier to bury my head in the sand of delusion than accept the hard reality of truth. It put off the inevitable moment of honesty and the walk down the hard path of real life. The postponement did not deter or prevent running into the brick wall of truth. Today's blog is not about my denial of truth in my life, but much more important my denial of Him.
I daily read this blogger's heart felt opining here. Julie is a gifted writer and a brave woman bearing her heart and soul for all to see what God has and is doing in her life. I loved this quote from her blog concerning denial-
" I found that if I catch denial while it is forming a small creek in my heart, then I have more of a chance of drying it up (with the help and support of those around me and through scripture) before it becomes a deep flowing river that drags me under its current and drowns me in a sea of forgetfulness and self-pity."
Deep wisdom for one still young---a graphic picture of the damage done when living in denial.
A daily devotion I read and listen to also addressed Peter's denial this week. This brought to light the question of why I am so hesitant to admit my own denial of God. Why I do not speak up when given the opportunity---why I do not proclaim who He is with every waking breath----why He is not on my lips and in my mind every conscious second.
I look down my nose at Peter for denying Christ--three times---but the question is "What would I have done in the same circumstance?" Would I risk my life--the life of my family--what I see as my future and proclaim publicly my love for Him? Or would I save my sorry self and run and hide in fear? How many ways do I deny Him even today--day in -day out----without any fear of death or punishment for proclaiming Him?
God's wonderful grace covers my denial---my doubts---He understands my human failings---and loves me yet--beyond my wildest dream--He loves me.
I may deny Him--but He has never denied me---He gave His all for me and calls me "His Beloved".
"Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow."