I have only returned to my other home--Ruston--twice---on purpose. It occurred to me to make this home--I could not run back to Ruston and the familiar every month--I had to stick it out and make it work. Running home would not force the issue, but only postpone the hard work it takes to make a new home. It has been a struggle and the work is far from over. But as the old commercial says, "I've come a LONG way, Baby!".
Fort Worth may be a large city---but within the large city is a small town heart. It has been amazing to discover some of the same realities here that were in Smalltown, USA. There is a segment of the population who have been here for generations--they tend to stick together--and are not particularly open to inviting newcomers into the inner circle. It was surprising to make this discovery--but the great thing about a really large city--you are much more unaware of the existence of this generational hierarchy---unaware and therefore unaffected.
The world keeps turning---when we loose someone--in death, in divorce, in miles of separation-whatever the circumstances of being apart---life goes on. A piece missing from the puzzle does not nullify the message of the puzzle. I have missed my friends and family greatly--but the truth of the matter is life kept rolling along--even in my absence. The picture may look slightly different--as with the puzzle missing one piece--but depending upon the placement of the piece-- the over-all theme is the same. When I return to R, I have missed a large gap of life there--I am out of the loop. It did not take long to catch up, but I expect with time--that will change and it will become more difficult. The history I have with friends and family will never change--but the present will slowly become different.
There are rich people and poor people in every town--no matter the size. The larger the town the more you see of both. Multi-millionaires are a dime a dozen in Texas--and especially in the large cities. Having palatial estates and an opulent life-styles are the norm in large sections of the city. The same goes for the poor and struggling--there are large sections of the city with those scraping by. At times it seems there are more luxury cars on the highway than middle America cars. As Jesus said, "The poor will always be among us," but the numbers of the very rich is surprising. There is still the differentiation between "Old Money" and "Nouvea riche"--reminiscent of generational hierarchy.
Suffering, illness, pain, death, and struggles are universal. The larger the city--the more you see of it, but you cannot escape the inevitable in life. People are people and the themes of the stories of their lives are quite similar where ever they are planted. If you will make eye contact with me, I will talk to you. Talking usually leads to the story---most people need to talk and someone to listen. I am a good listener and it is amazing some of the stories I have heard.
There is loneliness in the midst of the multitudes here in the Big City---exactly as there was in Ruston. I am in charge of making this work---here as I was in R. People are people--perhaps I have met a much wider variety of people--but the basic need to love and be loved is in us all. I have a cave here in FW---exactly as I did in R. It is up to me how much I stay in the cave and how much I venture into the world.
God is God---here or Ruston--in fact anywhere---He is unchanging--faithful--loving--just--righteous---and on and on with a long list--that NEVER changes.
He is THE GREAT I AM! For that I am thankful and blessed.
I will be here--until God tells me otherwise. I see some of His purpose for my move--but think there is more to the plan than has been revealed. I am looking forward--with some apprehension---to the revelation of "The Plan". I miss Ruston--my life long friends--my family--and the familiar but I am working toward more friends and becoming more familiar. It takes time---patience---openness---willingness. Who KNOWS -but God--what the future holds. I have said no more moves---BUT I have eaten every NEVER I ever said---so. Tomorrow's blog is a revelation God gave me today---it leads me to believe--He has plans for me---I am open to His plan--where He leads I will go.
The one constant---never changing---always evident --in my life--
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."