I listened to my mother--I listened to important loved ones---I listened to my friends---I listened to my spiritual mentors---always trying to emulate their desires for me. My need for approval over-rode any self examination and exploration of me. I slowly morphed into the perfect example of all everyone else wanted me to be.
WHAM--a huge fall--and a long time in the pit of despair. As I slowly pulled myself back into the light of day, I began to search for who I was, what my gifts were, and who God wanted me to be. After a lifetime of faltering and inability to please man---BAM---I finally figured out---I need to discover "Who God designed me to be" and contentment would begin to emerge.
I made a visit to my forever home-Ruston-this past week. Finally I returned with a peaceful heart and joyful spirit. God revealed a wonderful thing to me---I LOVE my friends--deeply. He has lavished me with the blessing of deep friendships and I care greatly for each and every one of you. The light is always on in my window--and in my heart--welcoming all of you. So--Who am I?--I am a friend---a good friend---a friend blessed by our conversations--and privileged to share with you and serve you. A part of the puzzle has been colored in--but I am still searching.
I also discovered my writing has evolved, at times, into an effort to seek your approval by words on the page. There are days my writing is not God inspired, but instead a plea for acceptance and affirmation. All this time while driving home produced insight and insight has brought change. I will blog when inspired by God--and I am leaving the timetable up to Him. I love to write--but when the writing becomes an exercise in seeking approval--the motives are wrong.
So there will not be a blog everyday-unless He inspires me. If you sign up as a follower, you will receive an email when I publish a new one. The other alternative is to check my blog. The final alternative is to find one of MANY bloggers who inspire you, motivate you, and entertain you to read instead.
The "Real Me" is slowly emerging--and with time--He will show me all I need to know--but for now--I am content with what I know--and discovering I am a pretty good person who surprise-surprise---I would enjoy being friends with.
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.