Friday, May 8, 2015

IF YOU HAVE A MOTHER


We all have our minds on Mother's Day this weekend and I am no exception.  Thoughts from our maternal legacy, redemption of motherhood, my personal journey as a mother, mother figures---have all rolled around in the vast empty space in my head.  I have thought about those of you who obviously had Saints for mothers and those of you who have struggled with the relationship with your mother.  I remembered all who were blessed to have their mothers a really long time, those who lost their mothers far too early, and those who have watched those last years when they were not so good, to say the least.  Mothers and motherhood is a vast subject, but one thing we all can agree upon is we all had a mother. 

My mother and I had an interesting relationship.  She loved me---I never doubted that for a moment--but I never really felt like she approved of me.  It was difficult to please her and she was very vocal about sharing when I came up short.  If you knew her, your immediate reaction is she was charming and sweet and yes, she could be, but there was another side reserved only for her children and it was--different.  I came to a place of peace with my relationship with my mother, when I realized she did the very best she could.  Her own mother died when she was two and she was raised for the next few years primarily by an aunt who was extremely demanding and never afraid to tell you like it was.  Those important formative years when a mother's love makes us who we are--she missed out.  My father struggled with alcoholism the last few years before he died from lung cancer.  She ran the business, ran the family, and kept us all afloat during some extremely difficult times.  He finally turned the corner and was doing great--when he became ill and died two months later.  She then was left to raise 3 children alone.  So I reconciled myself to how difficult her life was and yet she raised three children who all graduated from college and one from law school---all three had successful careers---all three raised beautiful families of their own.  So, yes, she could jerk my chain with the best of them, but she obviously did her very best and with her best came three children whom she was proud of---in her own way.

I came next in the line of maternal legacy.  I also have raised three wonderful children--all are doing extremely well and two are raising families of their own and I am praying for the third to do the same.  Every decision concerning them was always made with their best interest in mind.  I was no Saint--far from it--but I can tell you I did the best I could and it was all done in great love.  I found during those years of active motherhood, raising children is NOT for the faint of heart.  It is the toughest job I ever had and though you could never tell from the outside, I tottered on out of control a lot!  What a blessing that out of control was!  Despite my inadequacies, my children have fared well.  It just goes to show you--they grew up in spite of my floundering attempt at parenting.

In the years since my children flew the nest, I have invested myself in several children in different venues.  I am not their mother, but I am attempting to portray the picture of maternal love by investing time with them.  I am also blessed to be grandmother to 6 fine grandchildren.  The best of all worlds--love them, spoil them, indulge them--send them home.  I love them not for what they have done, but instead because of who they are--a child worth loving.

What am I saying?  Do the best you can--that is really all you can do.  Somehow through God's grace, He takes our futile efforts and redeems our failings and most of the time--they grow up.  Happy Mother's Day, Friends.  I pray you honor your mother this weekend whether in person or in spirit.  I also pray for those with troubled relationships, you forgive the past and remember we all have feet of clay.  Cherish the memories of the past or forgive the pain and most important use the present day to do the best you can.  That is all God asks of us--our best.



“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 
I Peter 4:8

14 comments:

  1. What an absolutely beautiful writing on motherhood and what a glorious calling motherhood is. You have done a credit to all mothers in their attemtps, no matter how flawed, to raise there children in a Godly way. Well done!!!!

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    1. Just do the best you can and leave the rest up to God. Thank you & Happy Mother's Day!

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  2. What a beautiful mother's day piece, Lulu. So packed with honesty mingled with grace.

    And this ... 'raising children is NOT for the faint of heart'? Well, all I can say is amen. How did we ever survive? How did our children turn out with their heads tied on straight?

    Only by His grace ...

    May this Sabbath bring you a peaceful joy deep inside.

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    1. Aren't we thankful for the blessing of grace , Linda!
      Happy Mothers Day, Dear Friend!

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  3. Great post and in the same light: "Appreicate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget those who leave you."

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    1. Wise advice for us all! Thank you for commenting!
      Blessings!

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  4. Lulu, I've known a number of people who needed to deal with their issues with their mothers, living or dead, for their own sakes. It's sad to see people in middle, or even old, age still carrying anger toward their mothers and being affected negatively by it. I'm sure many will be inspired by your lovely post.

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    1. Why is it so difficult to understand what our negative emotions do to us, Jean? Thank you for commenting!
      Blessings!

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    2. Your very positve message on such a precious subject is very inspiring to me and my issues with my mother.. Keep the positive message alive and God bless you and Happy Mothers day...

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    3. Issues are not worth wasting our precious energy on, are they? For after all stewing over the "if you only's" does not change the facts. So stay focused on today - give a heaping dose of grace & do the next right thing!
      Blessings!

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  5. That was well written. You made me think (again -- stop that! ha ha ha) Now there is a blog post percolating in my fuzzy blonde brain. I've always been jealous of those who have loving parents. It must be nice. The only thing I can say is, if your parents are crummy, don't be like them. We can't control others, just ourselves.
    Hope you all have a blessed weekend. ~:)

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    1. God gives us the opportunity to redeem the parenting we had & commands us to forgive, Sparky! Looking forward to reading your blog, Friend!
      Blessings!

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  6. Beautiful....thank you for bringing tears to my eyes, sweet friend. Blessings

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    1. Happy Mothers Day, Sweet Friend! Enjoy those two men in your life this weekend !
      Blessings!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!