Life is filled with smoke and mirrors. Make up is a great example. We women-me included--put on our make up in an effort to look better to those who might glance upon our faces. I have laughingly called it my war paint and my disguise, but suffice it to say--it is all smoke and mirrors. Enhancing the best features and detracting from the worst, we spend untold money and time working on fooling the world. Why you can even buy water proof and permanent make up-so others will never see what lies beneath. We become experts at "looking natural" while we are actually disguising the natural when donning our mask.
Writing has its own bag of tricks to fool you into thinking I am someone I really am not. Those closest to me, with a couple of exceptions, very rarely comment upon my musing. Why the truth of the matter is that I have family members who do not even read my opining. They really know me---have seen the real me--so perhaps they have read a couple of times and laughed--since they see beyond the smoke and mirrors. Knowing all my faults, all my short comings, and the truth of who I am perhaps discredits what I say. I write what I would like to be--who I wish I was, but the sad truth is many times it is filled with disguises and exaggerations. The smoke and mirrors behind the pen are just as deceptive as the magician's box of tools.
Why, you might ask, do we go to all this trouble when the truth would serve us better? One of the realities I forget so easily is the best received posts are the most truthful posts. When I leave off the make up, put away the smoke and mirrors, and reveal the real me, the readers clap. Most of the time, I get responses of "Someone is like me" or "Someone understands". How easily I forget and fall back into the trap of thinking I am fooling you into believing I am someone I am not. Even when I fail to admit it, you know the truth. My secret life is really no secret--my warts and blemishes are impossible to hide forever.
Thankfully, there is One who understands. I stand naked before Him and He knows me better than I know myself. No need to even attempt the smoke and mirror act, He knows all the tricks and never falls for my lame attempts at disguising the truth. Yet He loves me still, when I run from the truth, He still loves me. There is hope--at the final curtain--when all the smoke has dissipated and the mirrors are all removed--He will love me exactly as I am.
For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.