I have a hate-hate relationship with the camera.  I have deleted-torn up-tossed more pictures of myself than Carter has liver pills.  A photo becomes the mirror in my bedroom---it automatically focuses on all the flaws.  I have swallowed the world's propaganda hook-line & sinker---everyone else is beautiful--and I come up short.  I come from a long line of those who missed the lesson on affirmation.  Throughout my life---I have allowed others to poison my self image to the point-at times- of self loathing.  She is very beautiful--you are not-you are the goat in the picture.

I am working on over-coming this---in my on-going quest to figure out who I am.  I am who I am---a dukes mixture of James-Gillespie.  I forget those who would love to have my skinny genes (got some of those skinny jeans too).  I ignore those who desire the muscle definition-long and lean--that others work really hard to get.  I forget my easy laugh and smile that takes in my entire face.  I forget I look like those who loved me from the beginning.  It is not easy to remember I am more than what I see in the mirror.

OH--but I have strayed from my purpose...if someone painted your portrait---would you dare to let the world see you for who you are?  I am reading a book about the great painters throughout the ages.  Rembrandt was known for his uncanny ability to capture his subjects for who they were.  He could take the grotesque and reveal the beauty of it.   I dare say---most of us want a royal portrait--with no flaws--no wrinkles--and no window into our soul.  Why the truth of the matter is--I have hazel eyes--so they change---depending upon what I am wearing--the day--what is happening in my life.  So exactly as my eyes change colors---who I am also changes---not in a day's time--but moment by moment.  

If one of the great masters painted me---for who I am--not who I wish I was--who I desire to be--who I strive to be---but for the person I am in that moment, what would I see when I studied that portrait?  Would I like what I see---would I be satisfied with my reflection--or would the truth of the image break my heart?  If I saw the reflection of the scars--the lumps-sags--and discolorations, would they reflect the beauty of a life well lived or would they feed me the lie of ugly?  Would the lines, wrinkles, and age spots that came from living in the sun--laughing-and crying be the image of life lived to the fullest--or would it scream of imperfection?

What would I see---if I dared to strip down to the truth--

Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.”
Philippians 2:15


  1. You are so beautiful, inside and out! I struggle against this very thing every single day. God made us exactly the way He wanted to! Love you!

    1. All of us women struggle, Julie. It must disappoint God to see our dissatisfaction with His great work !
      Love you, my Beautiful Friend!

  2. You're one gorgeous woman, friend!


    1. I am a reflection of the love of Chriat which has been lavished upon me!
      Blessings to you & I continue to pray!

  3. As you know (it is no big secret) I have a hate relationship with the son said to me the other day, "Mother, (ah, he only says that when he wants something, btw) what if you die? I have nothing to remember you by.That is so unfair for you not to allow your picture to be taken!" Smart alec...but he is so right. I have allowed--no relented at times to have my picture taken. I have real big of them....well...never mind.

    You/this post is so right on. Lulu, you are beautiful, inside and out. (and so brave!!!!!) Blessings to you sweet friend.

    1. We both need to just get over it- right, Friend? You don has said exactly what I have thought- we need to leave pictures behind so they can know we are still watching their every move- oh I meant to say watching over them-LOL!
      Love you, Friend!!

  4. I think a lot of us, especially young people and women, struggle with this problem. Sad really. Since I wasn't born beautiful or had admiring parents, I've learned to rely on wit and humor. That's one thing that helped keep me sane. It's kinda nice being ordinary. That way no one expects me to be fashionable or pretty or even glamorous. Besides, I can't be seen under a helmet or zipping by at 65 mph. *giggle* Thought provoking post as always Lulu. Have a blessed day. ~:)

    1. My first line of defense, Sparky- laughter !
      Blessings My Fast Friend😄

  5. From all the photos you have published here I would say you are a very beautiful woman. Take a good look in the mirror and see yourself as others see you, not as you criticise in your mind.

    You're beautiful both physically and as a person. Do you know why? Because you're a creature of God and there are no rejects on God's production line.

    Here's a TRUE story which will hopefully bring a cheerful smile on that lovely face of yours:

    A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”

    “No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”

    She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets liposuction in all the righ places, has bits lifted up that need lifting up, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.

    A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.

    When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”

    He replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”

    Keep smiling Lulu, and remember you are wonderful. Just ask anyone who knows you.

    God bless.

    1. I laughed out loud, Victor! And yes- God does not make mistakes !!
      Blessings, Friend!

  6. This is good stuff. How brutal we are to ourselves! We'd NEVER say the kinds of things to others we say to ourselves. Wouldn't it be great if we could see ourselves as others do? Or, even better, as God does?


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!