Thursday, December 17, 2015

THE STATE OF ME

I am not particularly fond of sitting in doctor offices--so I tend to avoid them- if at all possible.  It has been three years since my last annual check up and, even when sick, I have not seen a doctor in that time period.  Since that visit- three years ago- was after a three year avoidance of physicals--I seem to be on the three year rotation.  You know doctors are paid the big bucks to find something wrong with you.  I spent days going back for rechecks including a scary biopsy the last go round--but Hurrah!- I was in perfect health.  In my economy of thinking--ignorance is bliss and I feel great-thus the hiatus from doctor's offices.  Perhaps it is time for the triennial-physical though.


 Today is the 67th Anniversary of the day of my birth and that seems a fitting time for an annual check up of another kind---a recount of the state of me.  If I were an automobile, we could plug me up to the computer for an analysis-but it is not that simple for us humans.  It is good and productive to take an inventory of where you are, where you have been, and where you hope to go, so I have spent the day mulling that over.

WHERE I AM---It has not been an easy transition moving to Fort Worth.  Perhaps I am a small town girl at heart.  I miss the familiarity afforded when living in a small community.  I miss the connections---a life time of learning who to call for any need---knowing not only my neighbor, but who they are related to as well---the assurance of assistance when help is needed.  New friends have come very slowly here and anonymity is a constant state in the big city.  

It has been wonderful to be close to the little grands, and I am glad I am able to help with their day to day.  Seeing them grow up and being a part of their lives has been a joy.  I am keenly aware though of how quickly they will grow up and know I need more to round out my life. 

Slowly I have become accustomed to being alone.  There are still times I miss a partner, and I mourn the loss of a complete family-but I am beginning to accept this is how it will be--in these final chapters.  In all honesty, life is less complicated and even simpler when you only have yourself to think of---but we are created to be in relationships--and I will always have that void in my life.

SO--today--I am in a much better place--and know how I have been blessed---and though not always happy---I am always filled with joy.

WHERE I HAVE BEEN---My sweet blogging friend, Linda, told me I had been in the years of the locust.  My jaw dropped when she said it, because she is right in many ways.  Seven years ago---the locust began to swarm and much of what I held as sacred was stripped away slowly but surely.  My life has little resemblance to how it looked before the locusts began to devour the fields cultivated over a lifetime.  So much was taken--but I am thankful for what was left behind and the sweet memories of what was.  The family---the friends--who never left my side---who prayed for me---and God's faithful presence through it all has been a constant blessing.

WHERE I AM GOING---In all truthfulness--I do not know--I am being still and waiting for God to show me the path.  I am taking steps to continue to move forward--to get my feet out of the quicksand --to claim God's promises. I know the responsibility of moving on is in my hands, but I have faith that God will redeem the years of the locust---and His redemption will be of His design not mine.

BUT GOD---I put my future in God's hands---knowing He has a plan for me---a plan to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me hope and a future----and redeem the years of the locust.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
AND MAY THE YEAR TO COME
BE FILLED
WITH GIVING HIM
GOOD PLEASURE!






"Then I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you.
Joel 2:25

9 comments:

  1. First of all, Happy Birthday to you Lulu. May you have a wonderful day, a wonderful year and a wonderful happy and healthy life.

    We've never met, Lulu. But one learns a lot from what one writes. I believe you are a kind and loving person who perhaps do yourself a little dis-service. Of course, you regret what you may have lost from your past life, but look at what you are offering others right now. You share in the life of your family and grand-children and I am sure you provide them with happy memories to grow up with. This in itself is priceless and makes Jesus smile upon you as He said in the Bible. You help out when your daughter and son-in-law need you around. This too is priceless. No doubt you cheer up your friends when you meet or go on holidays together. You also cheer up yourt readers who continue to visit here and comment.
    All in all, I guess you are a jewel in many peoples' lives. Thank you for that.

    Best sincere wishes to you Lulu. God bless.

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    1. Thank you, Victor for all your kindness!
      God Bless You, Friend!

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  2. First, there is no stinking way you are 67, Many Happy Birthday Blessings to you sweet friend. I am with Victor, you are a kind and loving person etc.---however, GOD always provides and it might not be on your time, just remember, it's HIS time.

    Many Birthday and Holiday Blessings to you sweet friend. Thank you for the Joy you bring.

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    1. Thank you, Sweet Linda!
      Blessings To You!

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  3. At least where you are concerned, 67 is the new 37! I pray this coming year is full of good things--mostly closeness to the Giver of all good things (the things are nice; He is necessary). Happy birthday!

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  4. Is that you on a zip line and are you REALLY 67? You look and live far, far younger!

    We're talking, brave and courageous and adventurous here!

    The locusts have gone, girl. I love reading what God's doing in your life!

    Hugs.

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    Replies
    1. I was going to say that Lulu does not look 67 at all. More like a young chick. But then I thought I'd better be polite and not mention a lady's age. I am told ladies don't like talking about their age.

      God bless.

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  5. You guys make my day! BLESS YOU! And YES--the locust have gone!
    Blessings to you Both!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!