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Friday, May 13, 2016


Go to any bookstore or gaze around on Amazon---the self help books are legion.  There is a book to fix any problem-trial-addiction-loss-obstacle in our life.  If you need fixing---someone out there has a plan on how to fix you.

The middle child and female---I am a fixer.  If you come to me with a problem--even if you are only looking for a friendly ear, I am going to try to fix it for you.  I always have a solution, a suggestion, and words of wisdom when presented with your obstacles.  I am absolutely certain if you only listen to me and follow my directions, all will be well.

There is only one problem - I cannot even fix my own problems.  Thus the need for thousands of self help books written by complete strangers to give us the seven easy steps to solving all our woes, which we take as gospel and CANNOT wait to buy!

My own effort to fix it has resulted in the acknowledgement--it is not always fixable.  If your leg was amputated, there would be no fixing it.  You would learn to live with it and do your best to adjust--but you cannot grow another leg.  There are instances in life--including death and divorce there is no way to back up and change what happened.  Even a new relationship will not replace the one which ended.

Here is what I have finally come up with---some things cannot be fixed.  Instead of fixing it---I have learned to live with it.  All the books in the world and all the steps successfully taken will not make the problem disappear.   So I have done my best to go on with my life--live each day to the fullest--and search for the joy.  That does not change the circumstance in my life.

I have also learned there is nothing to be gained by talking about it--that will not fix it.  Even those closest to us think after a while, we should be over it and have moved on.  They are uncomfortable with our pain and circumstance,  because of their inability to fix things for us.  And there is no fixing it and truly in some circumstances not one thing to be gained by rehashing it.

So my answer to the self help books is a book with the title


The one page will say---Learn to live with it.

There is a great deal of peace in acceptance.

11 The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 29:11


  1. Hey, wait a minute Lulu. If you have a book entitled "Some Things Cannot Be Fixed" with just one page saying live with it. It just will not sell. People will pick up the book, read the one page, and put it back on the shelf.

    The thing is; people just love to go to someone else for advice on how to fix their problems. It's their way of shirking responsibility perhaps. Their way of showing willingness by going to someone else for help and advice.

    And also the thing is; there is no shortage of people willing to give advice. Not only in book form, as you say. But also in the number of "life coaches" (whatever they are), advisors, counsellors, marriage guidance people, and know-it-alls that exist eager and willing to hear our problems and offer advice.

    It's part of our human nature, and a multi million $ industry too, to seek and to offer advice on every little problem we have; including the small pimple on our bottom.

    Very few people are as wise as you to realise that some things cannot be fixed and we should learn to live with them.

    In our Christian life too. You'd be amazed how many people there are willing to serve God in an advisory capacity.

    God bless. Great post as always.

  2. Copy and paste your comment and you have your next blog post, Victor!
    Great comment!

    1. Sorry Lulu. Did you mean my comment was too long? I'll try shorter comments in future.

      The thing is, there are too many people seeking and giving advice to each other these days. I even had to get advice from a Blog Counsellor as to whether to comment here again. She said "Yes"; Lulu will not mind. She doesn't take you seriously anyway.

      God bless, my friend.

    2. No, absolutely not, Victor! I meant your comment was profound and would preach ! Never hesitate to comment, My Friend, it' inspires me to continue writing- I am thankful you take the time.

      And I do take you serious- done of the time!­čśť

    3. Some not done- should never reply on my I phone !

  3. Oh very true this is...I say Oh oh...I am a semi fixer and prefer to just tell people to "suck it up buttercup." My big mouth also gets me in trouble...the only book that is needed for "self help" is the Bible...just saying...your posts always make me stop and think, Lulu. Smiles

    1. Your brain needs a break after this past week of tests---forget the thinking for a few days!!
      Blessings, My Friend!

  4. Some things can not be fixed. Amen.

    There are no 1-2-3's in life as much as we'd like there to be.

    But talking? Yes, with the right person, for the right reasons, soul level conversations can be a great source of healing, wisdom, growth, giving us a fresh, unburdened start for the next leg of the journey.

    Gee ... can you tell I'm a counselor?


    1. Yes ... but you're a good counsellor.

      God bless.

    2. I agree with Victor! Always cherish your wisdom, Linda!

  5. It's amazing how many experts we have in this world--seven steps to this, three keys to that, four sure-fire solutions. All those great would think by now every problem would be fixed?

    1. The older I get--the more I realize how little I really know. So glad God's got me!
      Blessings, Friend!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!