I was on task--on a mission--nose to the grind stone with my primary focus the well being of my family. There was never a question in my mind as to my primary mission field--it was the Home Mission Field. My sage words of wisdom to all young parents is they need to serve the local--Family mission first and foremost. It is an all consuming job!
Now my life looks quite different---there is no longer anyone to take care of-to consume my focus, I no longer work and finding my purpose can be a frustrating unanswerable task. My daily prayer is for God to reveal His perfect purpose in my life, and yet many days there seems to be no reply.
Recently I read a John Piper sermon on collecting sea shells in retirement. The gist of his message was we never retire from God's work. The frivolity of the mundane consuming our days is a waste of our precious resources. The beautiful garden, long list of trips, perfect golf scores, and huge collection of seashells is not wrong--unless we become consumed with them. Yet, I find myself moving from project to project, pulling always growing weeds from the garden of life instead of planting beautiful flowers. The days become filled with the minutiae of what do I prepare for the next meal, when am I going to mow the lawn, planning the walk I badly need to take--on and on with the day to day tasks involved in living.
And then there are the unnecessary projects I take on to fill the hours of an unplanned day. Washing the windows--which will surely begin to get dirty again before I even walk away, wondering if I should paint the interior of the house, painting the cellar door--and why not all the doors while I am at it. My mind is constantly in overdrive scheming and planning the next project--the next task--the next thing on a long list that could be left undone forever without dire consequence. I am fluttering my life away on the inconsequential while the most important stares me straight in the face.
What am I doing with the time left--these final chapters? What am I doing to further The Kingdom? Where are my hours spent? What do I have to show for my 24-7's? When I stand before Him--as we all will---am I to hear--"Well Done" or "What were you thinking?" Deep thoughts leading up to the Holiest of Weeks--Deep Thoughts~
But my life is worth nothing to me
unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me
by the Lord Jesus-
the work of telling others
the Good News about
the wonderful grace of God.