Thursday, December 7, 2017

POSTURING

Hero, The Wonder Dog, is all show and no action.  When we take our thrice daily strolls, if any dog or cat for that matter happens to catch his eye, he puts on an award winning performance.  His hackles go up, he is snorting and blowing, growling and spitting, and itching for a fight-----as long as he is in my arms.


For you see, to protect the not so smart (Hero), I scoop him up as soon as he begins the show opening overture.  The truth of the matter is the ten pound (yes he has gained two pounds--25% of his body weight) wonder dog does not stand a chance---even in a fight with a cat--he would be down for the count before the opening curtain was all the way up.


IF--I left him down on the ground--and IF the intruder dared approach--Hero would curl up in a sniveling heap before the fight ever got off the ground.  He's all storm and bluster---in an effort to warn off any potential threat--he puts on a great show---trying to avoid being bullied.  What the other dog does not know is the amount of time Hero spends shaking and quaking--tail tucked--hiding behind my legs.  He is a BIG sacredy cat!  All this carrying on is posturing---in an effort to appear to be someone he is not.


We've all experienced overt bullying in our lives.  The bullying I've noticed lately is the subtle variety.  The snide remarks--off-hand comments--verbal bombs thrown casually into a conversation.  Perhaps you are able to let these pass--I am more prone to analyze--and re-analyze anything that is said.  I am no Ouiser and will let the moment pass without quick retort or jab.  I will walk away and play and replay the remarks in an effort to understand where they are coming from and why.  Why would someone seemingly purposefully make a remark that stings to the core?

I have finally come to the conclusion, it is all about posturing.  It really has little to do with me, and a great deal to do with them.  Their feeling of inferiority creates a need to throw up defense lines in a effort to defray the imaginary contest in their heads.  Sadly we feel like if we show others how little we think of them or put them in their place we will get the upper hand before a contest begins.

PEOPLE---LIFE IS NOT A CONTEST!  


We have become so shell shocked by bullying and competing in all forms, that we immediately take the offense---for no apparent reason.  We are trying to get the upper hand before the dukes are ever raised.  This, My Friends, is not so subtle bullying.  


With all this said, I am interested in hearing your thoughts on bullying in your own life.  What is your response?  What do you think causes it?  How do you handle it?  

Praying we all would remember---Jesus was NO BULLY!  He appears for the most part to be a gentle man who commanded great attention when he spoke.  He had no need to bully anyone--His reputation preceeded Him.  IF ONLY--we could all learn from Him and become more like Him daily.  Praying for wisdom.

29 Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words,
 the kind that build up and provide what is needed, 
so that what you say will do good to those who hear you
Ephesians 4:29

6 comments:

  1. Bullying ... yes, I've met that many times in my life. Often, oddly enough, it was my bosses at work; and yes, they were often people who somehow felt lacking in some way, inferior perhaps, even though they were the bosses above the rest of us. I suppose the way I dealt with it at the time was not to show them that it affected me in any way. I just ignored their snide remarks and got on with my work. When they noticed it had no effect on me; they stopped. On one occasion the bullying got so bad that I started looking for another job. Another manager found out I intended to leave so he got me moved to another better job away from that particular boss.

    God bless.

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    1. Bullying comes in many forms, Victor. I heard a story yesterday of a young teen experienceing it. His grades were failing. When he was moved to another school, he now has excellent grades. He never told his parents. I am certain he feared their reaction- for we always blame ourselves. I agree ignoring is best as adults, or as you did, removing ourselves from the bully's presence.
      Blessings!

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  2. Oh boy...you have hit a nerve...my mil is one of the biggest bullies...I repeated a comment to the dr. yesterday on what she said...she said "Your now a boy! Tee heehe, you don't have any lady parts!" (sorry to the men here, but since I am a brutaly honest person). The dr. said, " You know what, I have heard that before, and she does know that a boy has testosterone and a penis and girls have estrogen and a vagina and since you still have a vagina, that makes you still a girl. End of story."

    As for dealing with a bully, I am afraid it depends on the situation for me...sometimes I confront it, sometimes I just let it go. What causes it? I think for the most part its jealously and low esteem. Plain and simple...there are times when I "bully" myself in a situation when I want to get my way, just being honest. That is a human flaw. Another great post and a topic we were discussing yesterday...I had heard thru the grape vine this morning, my son put his grandmother in her place with the repeat of what the dr. said (he overheard the conversation with my husband)...and I'm not going to correct him either. Sometimes, you just gotta knock the bully down...just saying. AND I do apologize to all the mothers and grandmothers here...my relationship is not a great one with my mil. For 36 together years I have kept my big mouth shut and just let it roll off my back, but this one, I just can't.

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    1. GOOD for your son having your back!! Why would she be so snide?? Trying to determine the whys is the real puzzle. Where did that come from? As for the remark, parts are parts- it's what's in your heart that matters!
      Blessings, My Friend!

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    2. Why would she be so snide? Ever since my fil passed away over 25 years ago, she has been very mean and her true thoughts came out about me. Jealously plays a big part. She is one spiteful, mean person...and yes, I do pray for her. Shaking my head.

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  3. Yes, I have been the object of bullying, and it's absolutely no fun, whatsoever. It became so bad at my last teaching job, I had to quit for my own health and sanity.
    Yes, bullies are insecure persons, who need our prayers, not our retorts.
    Blessings, Lulu!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!