I am curious what you think about something I have noticed.  My opinion is certainly only that--an opinion.  There is no right or wrong answer-in fact we all just have observations.  I really hope you will weigh in on this--stretch me and make me think!

We can all agree the final chapter of our earthly body involves death. " We don't get out of this alive ," is attributed to several, but no matter who said it--there is a brutal ring of truth in it.  As I have grown older and certainly in the midst of this pandemic, death has become a regular visitor.  This post has nothing to do with the promise of eternity, but instead has everything to do with how we are remembered.

I have observed, with death, in most cases, the bad is forgotten and in fact removed from our memory bank.  I have only experienced one person pointing out the faults of their dearly departed, and I suspect it came from a place of anger over being left alone.  In most cases, those who have left us become sanctified.  We chose to only remember the good and put the bad or difficult behind closed doors.  Why I wonder?  Why refuse to admit the human side of those who have left us?  Why have the need to elevate our loved ones to sainthood only once they are no longer with us?  Why do we withhold the honor when they are still sitting by our side?

I have only been to a couple of funerals where the dearly departed was honestly eulogized and remembered for who they truly were.  So this all begins almost immediately after departure from the physical world.  We seem to be willing to extend grace and forgiveness--and truly forget the bad or hard when someone is no longer with us.  We are unwilling or unable to put the difficult away as long as they are with us for some reason.  Perhaps it is a form of self-protection.  The old fool me once shame on you-fool me twice shame on me.  Or perhaps it is the age old struggle of man against man.  I am not really certain why we are only able to remember the good and truly forget the bad after the struggle on this terrestrial ball is over.  All I know is, it would seem, until we are gone--others will be unable to forgive AND forget.

Am I totally off track here?  Does anyone else notice this?  I am not saying it is a bad thing--AT ALL.  I am saying it is curious and puzzling that we can only truly forget the bad and focus on the positive with death.  The good news--some day we will all be remembered in the same manner!

What say ye?  I'm a big girl-let me have it if you disagree.  I love the conversation--with me or against me--let me hear from you!


  1. Your observations are spot-on, Lulu. You have also made me reconsider how I'm treating others on this side of eternity. Why hang onto bad thoughts and feelings when the one you love is still with you? Let us be quick to love, forgive and forget.

    1. EXACTLY where I was going!
      Blessings, My Friend!

  2. Spoiler Alert: You're not going to like this. Stop reading now.

    I always felt it was hypocritical to just say good things about someone because they are dead. If a person was a right ******* when he was alive, all that is different now is that he is a dead *******.

    The world has known many bad leaders who led their country badly and whose decisions resulted in the death and suffering of many. Do they deserve to be remembered fondly as people of principle who did what they did because they believed it was right and proper?

    The same with lesser people. We pretend to focus on their good quality, perhaps because we're afraid that God would thump us on the head otherwise. Perhaps because we want to appear kind, holy and forgiving. But are we doing anyone a favour? By glossing over bad deeds and "forgiving" them are we not condoning the bad deeds? I am thinking of someone who in life has committed adultery, treated others badly, cheated, was always just that bit outside the law. Do we remember him fondly?

    You say, "All I know is, it would seem, until we are gone--others will be unable to forgive AND forget." Sometimes we can NEVER forget. I know I'll never forget the bad done to me. As for forgiving ... I leave that to God, because sometimes I find it too difficult to forgive certain people.

    God bless, Lulu.

    1. I'm thinking all this over, Victor! Always like to be challenged!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!