It is no secret that I have had a struggle making friends here in Fort Worth. You could call it the perfect storm of reasons why. First and foremost I am an introvert from a family of introverts--except for my dad who left us when I was 14. It is NOT that I don't love being around people---I do. I miss the interaction I once enjoyed frequently while in Ruston. Beginning with the pandemic lock down--and my subsequent move---the physical presence of friends has left a hole in my life.
The friends I have made since my move are the age of my children. Once upon a time, while raising my children most of my friendships revolved around the parents of their friends. When you spend hours watching sporting events and their activities you frequently see the same group of parents. This lead to some friendships. Now, I see their friends who have children in the same activities as my grands. Deja vu. I love these young friends---it helps me understand what their generation thinks, BUT we do not really have the shared history of decades I have with my peers. I miss that.
Why have I not been able to make friendships? A great example of the problem is a neighbor I met a few months after moving. I immediately thought--she would be a wonderful friend. She had that sharp wit I love, she laughed at my quips, we are in similar stages of life, and sometimes you just know you would click. It turns out I am not the only one who recognizes this and she has a plethora of friends and is very involved AND still works. She does not have the time or energy to add to her already over booked life. I truly understand and am not offended. However, I greatly miss my friends---those forever friends who know you almost better than yourself. I have to be satisfied with the occasional phone calls and that is better than no contact. All to say---forever friends are a blessing of great measure. God created us to be in relationships and I am loving seeing my family frequently, but your friends are God's lagniappe of blessing.
I am so thankful for the friends in my life. They are those who you can be apart from but immediately pick up where you last left off when reunited. Those who have your back---who you can call when in need---those who really listen when you talk---those you share history with. Friends who have stuck by you--even when you mess up; friends who have loved you-when you couldn't love yourself--friends who seek you out--even when you are in the pit of despair and no fun---friends who are willing to hold your hand---even when you are unlovable---friends who are willing to tell you the truth---even knowing you might be angry until you have time to think over that truth. Those deep friendships---those who know you best---that is perhaps one of God's greatest blessings. It is not the same as a husband - wife relationship, BUT it has a singular beauty and depth of love which stands on its own merits. God does not always provide us with a mate---BUT he always gives us the opportunity to have friends. I am so thankful for His provision. What would I do without my friends? I don't even want to consider that question. He is faithful and is our provider of all good things--including our friends.
"A sweet friendship refreshes the soul."
Proverbs 27:9
Sadly, I've lost touch with many whom I considered friends over the years. We do need friends, and I hope to find more in the not-so-distant future. At least, through blogging, I've made friends that I treasure - you included!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Lulu!
I know exactly how you feel, Martha! Treasure our blogging friendship.
DeleteBlessings, Martha