THINGS WE SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT

 My daughter and I discussed "The stuff we don't want to talk about"  on a recent hurried trip to Costco.  I love to mull over topics with others and always come away with expanded ideas about what we are discussing.  This subject proved to be no exception.  Yesterday we explored the things we don't want to talk about.  We are headed in a slightly different direction today---the "stuff" we shouldn't talk about.  There is a difference.  One is an absolute and the other a preference.

When you search the WWW for subjects that we shouldn't talk about you can come up with the usual-

Finances

Politics

Religion

Death

Age 

Appearance

Sex

AND I LOVE THIS ONE---FOR THE SENIOR GENERATION-Bowel Movements

I found this quote  which concisely gives guidelines~

"Don't interrupt. (personal side note-I am guilty) .  Avoid conversations that you have no in depth knowledge of or personal experience with.  STAY IN YOUR LANE"  We could ALL benefit from staying in our lane and avoiding a collision especially when talking.  AND if we only talk about things we are knowledgeable about--we might find a need to develop our listening skills and we might appear not quite so ignorant.   Everyone loves a good listener.

Don't think you have to fill every moment of silence.  Your discomfort is no greater than that of the one you are talking with.  When you feel the need to fill every moment with sound--you are headed for talking about something you have no business talking about and may cause you or another personal harm.  Less is always better in conversation.  More can lead to a slippery slope and take you over the edge.   Going over the edge can cause great harm-either to you or another--or perhaps both.

Today, I am only going to speak on one of these personal taboo subjects and I did not find it mentioned in any of the places I looked online.  That subject is any time you insert  into a conversation something which is "NOT YOUR STORY TO TELL".  My dear counselor friend introduced me to this idea some time ago.   I know when another person is involved--we have to be mindful to not betray a trust.  A good rule of thumb is to not discuss anything which is not "your story to tell".  ANY time we start repeating events which we were not the first party to---we totter on the brink of gossiping.  Only the first party can accurately tell the story.   Greater harm can be done repeating the story--even in defense--than keeping our mouth shut.  Some things--just do not need to be said.  

Are there exceptions to this rule?   At times, there might be a need to talk about a subject for your own clarification and processing.  BUT, when discussing the topic--you may get clarity, but you may also harm another.  This is a tight rope which is strung high and tight.  It requires finding the right person to discuss the situation with.  Someone who can be trusted to not repeat what you have said and has proven to give wise counsel.    That can be a rare bird to find.  NOW--I get needing a sounding board to help discern a topic, especially when it involves a loved one who has been harmed or hurt.   I also know when another person is involved--we have to be mindful to not betray a trust.  ANY time we start repeating events which we were not the first party to---we totter on the brink of gossiping.  Only the first party can accurately tell the story.   Greater harm can be done repeating the story--even in defense--than keeping our mouth shut.  Some things--just do not need to be said.  

SO---what shouldn't we talk about?   It could be a variety of subjects.  First Rule---think before you speak.  Who are you talking with?  Is this something I want to share?  How will this be heard?  Is there a need to know by the one you are talking to?  A good general rule is talk less and listen more.    

"Argue your case with your neighbor himself,

and do not reveal another's secret,

lest he who hears your bring shame upon you,

and your ill repute have no end."

Proverbs 25:9-10