As I have told you before, when I hear a re-occurring theme---it is usually a good indication it bears writing about.  We spoke recently about favorite grands.  My wise grandmother in law told all the grands they were her favorite with a promise to  not tell the others.  I have played that game with my own grands.  We ALL want to be considered someone's favorite.  It warms my heart when I see a long married couple speaking of being each other's best friend.  What a sweet tribute to how we keep those love fires glowing.

A couple of weeks ago my daughter--you know the one with four children in 5 1/2 years--told me she asked each of her children who was their favorite sibling.  This was in the midst of the two littlest warting the stew out of each other in my tiny living room.  Each of them said the eldest was their favorite.  This began the thinking process that led to writing today's post.  How do we become someone's favorite---are at least among their favorites?

During those growing up years (LONG AGO), my brothers and I often had "fights".  Perhaps it was more like arguing, but it was always prone to escalating.  The problem in most cases is one upmanship.  Someone needed to feel like they came out the winner.  It saddens me to say, that arguing often led to physical altercations and almost always name calling.  My theory on name calling--when you feel like you are being bested or lack the vocabulary to properly express yourself--you tend to resort to the desperate measure of name calling.  It is a highly defensive offensive measure. (Think that over)

It would serve us well to examine the traits of the one who was everyone's favorite among the four grands.  He is very level headed and seems to think before he speaks.  I have never heard him call any of the others derogatory names or use mean slurs toward them.  He does not raise his voice in anger--he saves that for the good times--and uses a measured tone.  An example, "What would make you think that?" in a calm voice and stated as a question to be answered.  He gives the others respect--even in disagreement,  AND there is born a leader!

Today's world has more name calling and slur slinging than I care to hear.  We cannot have healthy debates any longer- and for some reason if others do not agree with us--we resort to name calling.  The lowest form of mud slinging.  As for myself, I immediately turn off my hearing and do not listen once the low blows begin flying.  If this is the best you can do to defend your position, I am not interested.  I will listen to all sides of any argument IF there is healthy discourse.  Otherwise--count me gone--and you are NOT my favorite.

SO- if you want to be someone's favorite-the key is to learn how to have healthy communication, to not be threatened by different opinions, to modulate your voice to the non-threatening level headed tone AND never resort to the low blow of name calling.  I love when my grands teach me a lesson!

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up,

as fits the occassion,

that it may give grace to those who hear."

Ephesians 4:29


  1. I totally agree, Lulu. When disagreement devolves into name-calling, the party slinging insults is the one who is losing the argument, and knows it, but can't afford to back down. I think you know some ready examples of that. And there are definitely so many lessons our grands can teach us. Blessings!

    1. It is always time to walk away when the mud starts slinging!
      Blessings, Martha!


Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!