CHERISH THE GIVER MORE THAN THE GIFT

 Have you ever received a gift that did not meet your expectations?  Have you ever struggled to be grateful when you did not even know what the gift was?  Have you ever thought---"What were they thinking?" and wondered if they knew you at all?  AND---have you ever been strongly suspicious that you have been given a re-gifted gift?  Of the five love languages, does receiving gifts ring you chime?  Are you able to be a gracious receiver---even when you are perhaps disappointed?  Does it occur to you time and resources were used to present you with a gift?  Here is one point I would love to share with you before the annual "Opening of gifts"- 

YES, it is more blessed to give,

 but the most important variable of the gift giving equation

 is the attitude of the giver and receiver.

We can absolutely deflate the loftiest attempts to bless us with a gift by our less than jubilant response.  I must confess that, in my early days, there were times I was not filled with gratitude and made little attempt to hide it.  With deep relationships, the expectations are greater---if I am put into a situation in front of others to appropriately respond---I can be caught off guard---and not have enough time to put on my poker face.  Thankfully---with maturing---I am gotten over myself.  One of my favorite gifts is a really small red Christmas ball which has "Grandmother" written in gold.  One of my grands gave it to me several years ago--and I smile every year when putting it on the tree and remember that sweet child and how he thought of me when Christmas shopping at the school Christmas store.  It is not monetarily valuable---but it is cherished as much or perhaps more than any of the gifts I have been given over the years.  It was the thought that counted-and he thought of me!  In almost all cases, the intent of the giver is as important as the gift itself.  What the gift conveys about their feelings for me is much more important than the gift itself.

What must Mary & Joseph have thought when the Wise Men showed up with their gifts?  My grands make a list of things they would like to be given.  I seriously doubt they would ever list gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (Although the stock trader might like gold)  In my research,  the gold signifies a precious metal from which a king's crown was made, frankincense was used in worship, and myrrh was used in embalming pointing to the eventual death of Jesus.  How were Mary & Joseph to know this?  They knew they were valuable, but in their world, these gifts must have seemed impractical.  Mary might have preferred a casserole, or a blanket to keep the baby warm, or help with the expense of getting home again.  Did they except the gifts with wonder and awe or wonder what in the world those magi were thinking?  Something tells me based upon the wonder of all that had happened, they were joyful and filled with gratitude for the offerings of the visitors.  They knew the Three Kings had traveled a long distance to come and worship and present gifts.  The feelings of the visitors--as well as the expensive gifts conveyed the wonder of the visitors.  May we all look upon the gift of Jesus with the remembrance of God's great love for all of us--when He sent His only Son to live among us and give us the ultimate gift of eternal life.  

"When the men went into the house

and saw the child with Mary, His mother,

they knelt down and worshiped Him.

The took out their gifts of 

gold, frankincense, and myrrh

and gave them to Him."

Matthew 2:11

GIFT GUIDE

Why do we give gifts?  I am not referring to the example of the Wise Men, but instead, why do you give gifts?  Is it an obligation, is it reciprocal, is it tradition, or is it a visible confirmation of love?  There can be many reasons why we want to give a gift.  

It is the time of year when the WWW is inundated with "THE PERFECT GIFT" suggestions.  Amazon may be the "King of WWW advertising".  It stands to reason they would use the WWW as their method of advertising heavily since this is the vehicle for buying from their site.  Occasionally  I will start to browse their offerings, but quickly grow bored and move on.  Yes, I do my fair share of Amazon buying.  Since I seldom go into a retail establishment these days, ordering on line and shipping or pick up are my go to.  Unlike many--I take no delight in shopping.  YES---there is a variable cornucopia of ideas and suggestions for gifts you might give.  At this stage of my life, I ask my children to NOT get my anything else to deal with or someday transfer ownership of.  I have given away houses full of stuff with all the moving I have done.  Truly--I am trying to keep it to a minimum now.

What I think is the secret of gift giving is something which we know the receiver will love.  I listen to those I give gifts to and try to give a gift I have heard them mention.  My children got together one year and bought me a coat they had heard me talk about.  I was too tight to spend the money myself and had a coat that would suffice, but they picked up on my "want" and made it happen.  I considered knowing they were actually listening to me part of the gift.  My daughter took me on a special trip for my 70th birthday.  I had always talked about going to New York, but had not made it happen.  She planned it all, and we saw LOTS of New York and 3 plays in 3 days.  I have enjoyed more birthday lunches than I can count.  The gift of time is HUGE in my book.  SO, when thinking about "what to give" this year---depending upon the person a trip, an event, time spent together over lunch or dinner is always a no fail option.  

When we look to Jesus for ideas of what to give---He definitely spent time with others.  He listened, He broke bread with them, and He shared His wisdom.  He gave us the ultimate gift of personal sacrifice so that we might be with Him eternally.  What an inspiration---one we could never equal---but we can think beyond the material and consider the gift of time---in any form or fashion.  What portrays love more?

"God's gift is eternal life

given by

Jesus Christ our Lord."

Romans 6:23

ONE MORE GIFT POST

 Surely by now you have finished your gift purchases and though you may not have them all wrapped--you are breathing a sigh of relief.  NOT to pop your bubble, but I have finally decided what "The Perfect Gift" consists of.  

The perfect gift has nothing to do with stuff.  I wrote last week about the best gift being your presence.  This certainly has a boat load of merit.  The perfect gift can be your presence, but I have decided the perfect gift was modeled that very first Christmas.  It had nothing to do with sheep or wise men, although their presence on this blessed occasion was a wonderful gift.  Perfect gifts usually involve sacrifice on the part of the giver.  God gave us that perfect gift the very first Christmas when He gave His Son to be our sacrificial lamb.  NOW--we certainly cannot be anyone's sacrificial lamb, but our gift to them can require sacrifice.  A sacrifice of time, effort, energy, thought--giving of a part of ourselves we will never get back for the love of the recipient.  

I am giving my grands gifts--of course, but I give them far more when I spend time with them.  When I sit and have a conversation--LISTEN, play a game, tell them stories, watch a movie together---on and on.  When I give them a piece of the time I have left, I am sacrificing that time for them.  That sacrifice is not difficult for it is done in love.  So

 The gift of the sacrifice of God's own son so that we might be with Him eternally was also done in great love.  Though it came with a great cost, He never faltered as He sacrificed for those He loved.  What a beautiful picture of what real gift giving is all about.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.

I John 4:9

THE GIFT OF LOVE

 It's that wonderful time of the year when we all go into a frenzy of gift buying for those we love.  True confession---I have not bought the first gift.  Will start  soon and in all truthfulness I only buy gifts for the littles. (I wrote this two weeks ago--so do not think I am desperate)    I give donations in honor of my loved ones instead of giving them gifts---we all have FAR too much already.  So I pick a charity or organization that I know is dear to them and send a donation in their honor.  

Why in the world do we give all these gifts and how did it get to be such a big deal?  Until we lost my dad, Christmas was a big deal at our house.  He was the biggest kid ever and we always got the latest toys.  I strongly suspect it was what he wanted to play with and for me--what my mother deemed appropriate.  I am scarred from only receiving one doll--one Christmas.  NO WONDER I am such a tomboy.  Giving gifts is our meager effort to show our love.  Proving our love by giving a gift is an impossible task.  It is NOT the gifts that prove our love.

A perfect example of this is the very first Christmas gifts that were given to the new born babe.  OH, some make such a big deal of the expensive gifts the Magi left for the little baby.  As I thought over those gifts this week, something profound occurred to me ~ the Magi were rich kings from the East---they could well afford to give what seemed like over the top gifts.  It was like pulling a golden egg out of the stock pile you have saved in your Golden Goose nest.  They would never miss it.  NO--those gifts were certainly wonderful, but the Magi gave something far more important--they gave their time, which we have a limited quantity,  to search for the promised Messiah.  They rode on the backs of camels for a LONG time (your rear would be screaming) to find and worship that king.  The gifts they left were more on the order of a hostess gift---thanking the host/hostess for the joy of the visit.  They left a token of their esteem after traveling for many weeks--following a star--looking for the babe.  They worshipped the new born king after seeking Him.

When you are thinking over gifts for your loved one this year, keep this in mind.  We show our love in the most important way--not through gifts-but by our presence---really being present.  All the rest is nice, but no real proof of our love.  Please do not shoot the messenger---stop and think it over.