ORPHAN?

Yesterday was the date my mother was born.  I ALWAYS think of her---but especially that day.  I have spent much of my lifetime pondering the ways our parents affect our lives.  It would stand to reason I have had an impact then on the lives of my children.  Do I want to know how becomes the question?


I have a theory I learned from someone that rang true as I pondered it.  Once we lose our parents--no matter what our age we become orphans.  There is so much truth in that.  I was 14 when my father died and 52 when we lost Momma.  The pain is different because of the years of shared history---but there is something so profound in losing our parents.  When it dawned upon me that I was now the senior matriarch of my birth family---it was quite daunting. 



 A case in point is family dinners.  After moving into my new to me home, my daughter informed me I could once again start hosting family dinners.  She inherited the responsibility after my last move to Fort Worth because she has so much more space than anyone else.  That is still the case, but she is ready for Momma to take the hosting role again.  I well remember the speech my step father gave all of us when he announced he and Momma were no longer hosting our family get togethers---it was our time.  I also remember me thinking, "WHAT???"  Though we all want to believe we are leading our own lives---there is still a search for the approval and love of our parents---no matter what our age.  When the day finally arrived when I took over Momma's finances---it was abundantly clear we had switched roles.  I was never truly comfortable in that lead role and sometimes even resented having the responsibility (truth telling is difficult at times).  BUT I also knew she was no longer able or probably capable of doing it--so whether I like it or not it fell to me.  I faithfully took care of things for her---and in retrospect am so glad I did.  There is a peace that comes from doing what we are expected to do---even when our attitudes are not always great.


Does it sound like I am off on a ramble?  There is a point---we have a Father who will NEVER leave us---Who is always with us---Who we will never have to do anything for but love.  Let that sink in.  Just when I think I understand what a Great God we have---another layer is uncovered.  I am so thankful!

"I love those who love me,

and those who seek me diligently find me."

Proverbs 8:17

 

2 comments

  1. Our youngest granddaughter shares your mother's birthday, Lulu! I could so identify with the realization that we are now the matriarchs/patriarchs of our families, and what that means for our lives. I don't regret one moment of helping my mother when she needed me most, even though we didn't always see eye-to-eye about many things. It is a privilege to love our families.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. I considered the time I spent taking care of Momma a gift to teach me many things--her final lesson via God. She left with me knowing I had cared for her to the best of my ability.
      Blessings, Martha!

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Your comments keep my writing and often cause me to think. A written form of a hug or a pat on the back and an occasional slap into reality---I treasure them all!