WHERE'D HE GO?

I claim to be patiently waiting for God to give me some direction at the current fork in the path.  If there are any signs---I am missing them---or perhaps they are written in secret code and I lost my code ring (You YOUNG people will not get that---ask someone over 60).  I am walking in the deep fog of What Do I Do Next? and the light is not penetrating the mist and the fog horn seems to be broken.  HEY---HEY YOU---YES, YOU GOD---I AM DOWN HERE---WAITING!

Perhaps He is busy saving the starving-the abused-the down-trodden-----perhaps the number I took as I began tossing up these prayers is way down the line---perhaps my ear buds have a short ---perhaps I am not hearing what think I should hear---YOU THINK?  All I know is I seem to be on hold---and the gospel music playing as I wait is lovely---BUT after 110 verses of Kum By Yah---my nerves are a little frayed.

All you Saintly Saints that have a direct line and never seem to be out of touch need to give me your secret.  Those of you that have the "Red Phone" which never leaves His side and always know exactly what His plan is for you---could you put in a word for me?  My patience is beginning to fray and it is not a pretty sight.

While in the midst of writing this very post

      BAM

He sent down the answer---NOT the answer I was expecting---NOT the plan I had formulated----A TOTAL---COMPLETE---surprise.   Upon digesting and reflecting--a wonderful surprise---a TOTALLY Good Use of the gifts and talents He lavished me with   AND the continued building of my Spiritual Legacy and HIS GOOD PURPOSE will continue.  

WOW---blown away AGAIN!

 The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. 2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives. 3 Commit your works to the LORD, And your plans will be established. 4 The LORD has made everything for its own purpose, Even the wicked for the day of evil.

Proverbs 16:1-4

AND THE WINNER IS----

I posted this blog on my Facebook timeline:  Here

It obviously resonated with many from all the FB comments---I did not write it--a famous Christian author, Ann Vos Kamp penned those truths.  AND IMAGINE--it started me to thinking!

Why is it so many have a difficult time aging with grace?  I suspect we look to the world and believe the lie that all fade into the sunset in perfect beauty.  No wrinkles--no sags---no age spots---looking exactly as we did at 21--SO the world tells us.  The magic of the air brush and the trickery of the Photo Shop have us thinking there is  perfection in aging.

I think of my grandparents---both wrinkled--both sagging--- both shriveled with age--and yet--together they were beautiful.  I remember stroking my Mamaw's triceps--they were soft--velvet loose skin.  She was beautiful---and never uttered a word about aging.  They aged well together---loved each other until they both were gone.  She might have had one bottle of some type of lotion--but there were no shelves lined with bottles and tubes of promised miracles.  I could not have loved them anymore---if they had looked 40.

We have become obsessed with staying young.  Do not get me wrong--I want to stay active--- raking my yard when Jesus comes for me, as Mamaw James was, is my dream.  I do not want to be so obsessed with aging that I spend all my time and money trying to chase the elusive fountain of youth.  Guess what--MOTHER NATURE WINS!  

I suspect I will be loved in my very old age---NOT because of how I look--but instead because of who I am.  The way I have loved others will determine how I am loved in the end.  Why is is so difficult for us to understand that truth?  We have listened to the lies of the world the media has sold us ---lock  stock and barrel.  Swallowing the whole lie--we have become convinced it is the surface-not the heart which is important.

Finishing well---is so important---why do we not see this?

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.

Isaiah 40:8

LESSONS IN TRUST

When I returned from my trip, I was met with a series of frustrations that had me begging for a break.  After a 3:45 CST wake up in preparation for the flight home, I found myself in tears when parting from my friends in Atlanta.  One of the reasons I have gone home only twice in a year is the difficulty of returning to Fort Worth after being bathed in the fellowship of lifelong friends.  This parting after a week of fun and laughter and constant companionship was extremely difficult.  My plane being delayed in Atlanta did nothing to help alleviate my mood.  Finally touching down at DFW, I had to negotiate finding transportation back to Fort Worth since the train would not run for another two hours.  

It is always amazing to see how God works---my driver was an Ethiopian who had been here in the states for twenty years.  Hearing his story of moving here with the help of a Christian agency was a blessing.  God’s constant provision under very difficult circumstances were evident in each turn and twist as he poured out the tale.  I should have listened better and remembered to apply every sight and sound to God’s ongoing lesson plan for me.

When I arrived home, my car was dead---not even a grind when I turned the key. This story is a long story that I will not put you to sleep with, but suffice it to say the battery was truly dead.  Son #1 tells me take the battery out—have it tested—then replace if it is truly dead.  RIGHT—I am on it!  SIL thankfully comes over and I carefully watch him as he performs this operation—after all---HOW was I going to take a battery to the auto shop—on foot?  He gets the battery replaced and once again I am good to go.

The same day of my home coming I discover my cable and thus-Wi-Fi are disconnected!  After a 45 minute telephone conversation, it is discovered they unhooked it when hooking up my new renter.  It was going to take an act of congress to get it hooked up again and finally in frustration I tell them leave it unhooked and I will return their equipment.  After the car is fixed, I return the equipment and was told---“Oh we can fix this and give you a better deal”  AFTER I announced I am moving to another company.  THANKS—but NO you had your opportunity.  So today—one week after returning from my trip—my new carrier is installing my cable/Wi-Fi.

The last straw that broke my proverbial back---was getting lost when trying to find a funeral home.  My sweet friend lost her son and the service was scheduled for yesterday.  I looked up the directions---it seemed simple enough---but once again I am like the Israelites wandering in the desert—going in circles.  In frustration and tears, I returned home vowing to move back to Louisiana.  Once a small town girl always a small town girl!

 

After the final frustration/annoyance, I went into the blame shifting mode---WHY am I having to tend to all this alone?  Why is there not anyone to even hear the story when I am so frustrated I could scream?  How am I ever going to do this?  Why does my life look like this? 

AH—then the return to the lesson my friend from Ethiopia was trying to teach me----TRUST.  Even in the small things---even in the dailies---Look to Him—Trust In His provision.  Remember how blessed I am---everyone has frustrations (if you do not –please do not tell me) –everyone becomes annoyed and even when you have been in the same place for years and are surrounded by loved ones—you can be alone. 

Back to Square One---and LEANING IN TO HIM!

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11

SWARMS

Hiking is not for sissies!  When we hiked the Cascades and Mt. Baker, we learned about black flies.  Circle back in your memories and pick up a scene from "The Birds"----black flies are only smaller but just as treacherous.  Our introduction to the little pests was not fun---we ran from the point they attacked us until we got back down the mountain.  Hundreds upon hundreds swarm you and for such a small insect their bite has to be a small version of Count Dracula with his sharpest teeth.  They fly in your mouth if you dare to open it--into your eyes--into your ears and bite even when you are wearing DEET.  As we flew off that mountain, I understood why someone might jump off the cliff to escape their evil swarm.

Fast Forward to this year---and information gained on the WWW and hiking books---the treacherous flies reside in Maine and New Hampshire also!  We went prepared---plenty of DEET--bug repelling clothing---and even a net to wear over my hat to keep them out of my face.  No stinking flies would spoil this trip!  We arrived in the North following a long cold spring--and the flies were just beginning to emerge from their secret winter hiding places.  The first three days were cool and we avoided even mosquitoes---but then it warmed up and out they came.  Not to be deterred from our adventure---we sprayed and wiped our arms and legs, and put on the bug repellent clothing.  Those little buggers would not stop these hikers.   Soon we learned they were hungry after a long cold winter and unseasonably cool spring---and out for blood.  They discovered our weak spot---the one thing we had not covered with protection---our scalps---around our hairlines and our ears.  I came home with a head full of whelps from their banquet.  It never occurred to me to put the net on--since the flies were not swarming and not until it was too late did I realize I was providing their feast.

Who/What did this remind me of?  Why S A T A N----of course.  He is crafty and looks for our unprotected underbelly to attack.  He is not going to come after you while you are in worship---he is not going to tempt you when you are wearing your spiritual armor.  He lurks waiting for you to stray from God's protection---he attacks when you are in the worldly.  As long as you are covered with prayer and wearing the protection of the Gospel---he will be kept at bay--but he is sulking around---watching your moves----waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in and attack.  Nothing is sweeter to him than a feast from The Chosen--

A good reminder to keep my spiritual armor on and under the cover of prayer--always vigilant--always prepared--on guard against the bite of the evil.

 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ephesians 6: 14-18

STEPPING BEYOND MUNDANE

My break from blogging came about for a variety of reasons-

I am seriously searching for God's intentions for me.  Looking to Him and asking for the path to be abundantly clear.  The key lies within recognizing my gifts and talents and determining the correct use of them----all for His Good Glory.

My battery needed recharging.  I become so wrapped up in what I will write next--I forget to appreciate the dailies.  No one is paying me to write---it needs to always be a joy to pen my thoughts--when it becomes a task instead of a privilege--time to rethink where this is going.

I took a hiking trip with my Louisiana buddies.  For a week I was too busy trying to keep up with my Superwomen Friends to blog.  I did write in my journal--which leads me to this--

While writing in my journal during this blogging break--I discovered the emotion has flown out of my words.  My writing, as my responses, have become rote. My words echoed a history lesson---a daily devotion--a hypothetical look at life--a comedy skit---anything but the truth.  

 We are all guilty of, "I'm fine"---my standard response the last few years has become, "I'm Okay"---was not sure fine was a good description of where I was.   We tend to avoid the truth like the bubonic plague when receiving an inquiry of how we are.  Honestly I am not certain we want to know how someone really is---as the movie line states, "You can't handle the truth!"

My new friend recently asked why I was not forth-coming.  I looked at him and asked, "Have you been truthful of what is going on in your life?"  He  then told me that everything was really good.  I am truly happy his life is so good, but I also am not encouraged to share the not so goods about my own life.  When mulling this scene over, I discovered I have only been truthful only to those who would understand  my pain and grief.  Understanding comes from experience and empathy is much more comforting than sympathy.

All this to say---where is the honesty in my writing?  Do I have the capacity to truly bare my soul?  I am no saint--except through His grace and I live in a fallen world.  Would you even want to read it all---the good--the bad--and the ugly?  I am still soul searching--pleading for direction--wandering in the desert of self examination---seeking Him and His Good Purpose for me.

Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

I Chronicles 16:11

JUST ONE

LAST YEAR'S POST---PERHAPS IT IS MY AGE---PERHAPS MY EXHAUSTION --
   I fill to the brim with tears just thinking about Daddy today.

As I was hiking this morning, I thought of my Daddy and Father's Day---I lost him FAR too early.  Girls need their daddies----their daddy is their first important relationship with a man----If he does the job as he should--she will not look for another man--until the time is right---I take every opportunity that God places before me to tell Daddies of daughters---just that---You can be the man in her life or she will find another---but she is created with a void that can only be filled with a relationship with a man...

SO all you Dads---it is a precious gift that you have been given---being a dad---you will never do anything any more important---and that will leave a lasting legacy----be the Dad that God teaches us to be---Love and Live Selflessly and the rewards are eternal--and God will richly bless you with the love of your children in return.

I would love to have one more conversation with Daddy---just one.

DARE NOT JUDGE BASED UPON THE COVER

An honest admission---we Southerners can be quite snobbish! 

We are guilty of judging based upon geography.  The deeper South our Southern roots---the deeper our prejudice.  We head north with the expectation of being cold shouldered, looked down upon, ignored, and subjected to bad manners.  Somehow we have the notion most inhabitants north of the northern Arkansas border must be viewed with suspicion and anyone above Missouri does not stand a prayer of being regarded without a wary eye.

We might be slightly critical of the social skills of the Yankees and certainly consider them aloof and cool.  The problem begins when they are not willing to give their social history within the first five minutes of meeting us.  Why all Southerners have a deep need to tell you at a minimum about their momma and daddy.  If you are willing to stand and listen for longer than ten minutes we also will share all the intricacies and nuances of our entire clan.  Giving even a curt head nod will encourage us to expound upon Aunt Minnie Mae and all six of her husbands--and the successes, failures, and felonies committed by each of her brood of children,

The only thing we enjoy as much as the narration of generations of family history is telling you our complete medical history.  Dare NOT mention any illness, injury, or mental impairment and not expect to listen to our own version of the same malady--only more and worse than your story.  Nothing is sacred---from crossed eyes to fallen arches---we will tell it all. 

 Perhaps this propensity to tell all has lead to those born north of Little Rock to become leery of making eye contact--knowing the tales of incestuous family ties, family feuds as complex as the Hatfield-McCoy debacle, long liturgies of marriages and deaths, and complete colorful descriptions of all medical facts has lead to a cause for alarm when the slow drawl and red neck twang from the south rings close by.

Our trip up north---WAY north for these Southerners -has brought to light -perhaps we have judged too hastily.  We found everyone we encountered cordial and congenial--but being on the giving end of the tip scale perhaps does influence the warmth factor.  Always finding hikers warm and engaging---as the runners have always been, we did not expect any trail snobbery.  We also enjoyed warm chatter with many locals in all manner of meeting.  It was a mind changing trip since we found most to be at a minimum curious as to our home.  Perhaps when one of us asked for  Brrrr  eeeee   aaaaddd-we might have given our southerness secret away.  Why I failed to notice any difference in our accent---with the exception of the Bostonians.

I am HAPPY to report---we only had to tsk and say, "Bless Their Heart" a couple of times.  Why we even find the occasional rudeness here DEEP in the south---but we usually suspect they have Yankee roots or a bad case of hemorrhoids when that occurs.  SO I plead for forgiveness from our Northern neighbors and vow to never again judge them based upon the unfortunate occurrence of living in the Land of the Yankee!