Friday, July 12, 2013

BARING MY SOUL IS HARD WORK!

I have not only begun, but I am 2/3 of the way through my book on grief.  It is HARD HARD work to bare your soul and tell others of the pain in your life.  It has taken a lot of introspection and many re-writes and go back and more writes to begin to see it all taking shape.  This is only my rough draft and after finished with the other chapters it will then require editing and more re-writes.  I expected it to be work---but only thought of the time and physical energy required---the most difficult part is the emotional energy.

Perhaps the purpose of the book is for only my own glimpse at what God has done in my life.  Perhaps one person will read it and be helped.  Perhaps it is to show others God's redemptive grace in our lives and faithful and sustaining love for us, even in the midst of life's greatest pain.  At this point I am not questioning what to do with it, I am just writing and writing and writing---long into the night, early in the morning---always with God by my side.

Once I am as satisfied as I can get with what I have done, then there are many decisions to be made.  I've read the book---it is all very complicated.  My sweet friend, Barbara, who has written a book and edited another told me to not worry about opening an account at the bank, you could put it all under your mattress with no sense of fear of loss.  Laughed at her and assured her that was not the reason for this exercise in remembering.  She also warned me of critics.  Those that matter will understand where this comes from and love me even in disagreement.  The others that don't know me and love me---I guess in all truthfulness--they could never hurt me beyond what I have already experienced. 

SO as with most of life, I am asking God to guide me---trusting what He is telling me and doing the next right thing---forward motion.



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