I have had enough lectures to last me a lifetime.  Anytime I feel as if I am being lectured--even as an adult-I shut down and turn off my hearing.  

Momma could lecture with the best of them.  I distinctly remember the year before I left for college--(A LONG TIME AGO), receiving one of Momma's lectures.  I interrupted her mid-stream and told her to, "Just BEAT ME!"  BIG MISTAKE---I prolonged the agony as she was then on a roll!

What is is about "lectures" that causes me to shut down?  I've been thinking about that -SHOCK!.  It really wasn't the correction--I fully realize I probably needed correction.  It was the spirit of the lecture and the tone it was given in.  If you think getting a lecture as a teen is a tough one (more than 50 years later I remember-not what the lecture was about but the tone it was given in), try it out as an adult.  I strongly avoid those who tend to launch into lectures about any subject.  You know- that what can I hide behind feeling when you spot a lecturer headed your way.

Our voices are powerful weapons.  Look at the picture above---the big finger is talking down to the small finger AND pointing at it.  When we begin to talk down to someone, we are putting them in a position of inferiority.  I am unceasingly loyal--I will crawl through dung for those I love and call friends.  The only thing I ask--no expect--is to be treated with respect.  NO LECTURES!  I am much more likely to listen to you if you speak to inform rather than speak to convey you know what you are talking about and I must not have a clue.  Your tone will cause the automatic shut off of my hearing aids when it becomes harsh and demeaning.

Conversely, when you speak in a everyday conversational tone, and communicate with a kind tone, I am all ears.

When I am convinced you want to inform me, and treat me with respect, I am listening.  The tone and spirit in which you speak are really more important than what you are saying.  Say it in the right way and I am all ears.  When you stand by me and not stand over me, you might even convince me you are correct.

"1 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, 

but exhort him as if he were your father.

 Treat younger men as brothers, 

2 older women as mothers,

 and younger women as sisters,

 with absolute purity."

I Timothy 5:1-2 


  1. Amen, Lulu! I react to lectures exactly how you do. I'd much rather have a meaningful, nicely-toned discussion with someone any day of the week.

    1. I think this is a universal response. The question becomes--WHY then would anyone ever take a "lecture" tone?


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