I have had enough lectures to last me a lifetime. Anytime I feel as if I am being lectured--even as an adult-I shut down and turn off my hearing.
Momma could lecture with the best of them. I distinctly remember the year before I left for college--(A LONG TIME AGO), receiving one of Momma's lectures. I interrupted her mid-stream and told her to, "Just BEAT ME!" BIG MISTAKE---I prolonged the agony as she was then on a roll!
What is is about "lectures" that causes me to shut down? I've been thinking about that -SHOCK!. It really wasn't the correction--I fully realize I probably needed correction. It was the spirit of the lecture and the tone it was given in. If you think getting a lecture as a teen is a tough one (more than 50 years later I remember-not what the lecture was about but the tone it was given in), try it out as an adult. I strongly avoid those who tend to launch into lectures about any subject. You know- that what can I hide behind feeling when you spot a lecturer headed your way.
Our voices are powerful weapons. Look at the picture above---the big finger is talking down to the small finger AND pointing at it. When we begin to talk down to someone, we are putting them in a position of inferiority. I am unceasingly loyal--I will crawl through dung for those I love and call friends. The only thing I ask--no expect--is to be treated with respect. NO LECTURES! I am much more likely to listen to you if you speak to inform rather than speak to convey you know what you are talking about and I must not have a clue. Your tone will cause the automatic shut off of my hearing aids when it becomes harsh and demeaning.
Conversely, when you speak in a everyday conversational tone, and communicate with a kind tone, I am all ears.
When I am convinced you want to inform me, and treat me with respect, I am listening. The tone and spirit in which you speak are really more important than what you are saying. Say it in the right way and I am all ears. When you stand by me and not stand over me, you might even convince me you are correct.
I Timothy 5:1-2