When you read the word ABANDONMENT, do you immediately want to turn the page thinking this does not apply to you? It is no secret I struggle with abandonment issues. "People with abandonment issues often struggle in relationships exhibiting symptoms such as codependency, an inability to develop trust, or even the tendency to sabotage relationships. The cause of abandonment is usually trauma of some kind, such as the death or loss of a loved one." Guilty-guilty-guilty. That's me in a nutshell!
If I allow myself, I can begin to identify with this old house. The bones are good, but it is suffering from the neglect created by abandonment. When presented with this picture, we fail to look past the decay which came with age and abandonment, and see the wonderful memories of days past hidden in the walls. We cannot hear the echoes of good days gone by because of the distraction of the creaks and groans of today. You may look at this house and see a bulldozer in its future. I look at this house and see the reflection of the beauty of the past and the possibilities for the future. Add a balcony and front porch, add a coat of white paint and brightly colored shutters, add welcoming double French doors, add a sun room on the side, add a beautiful old fashioned garden with a winding walk leading to the front door and you have a restored --redeemed charming cottage. A great beauty even in its old age.
Beginning with my childhood, I have had significant losses of those I loved. With some introspection, I have realized I am not a victim of abandonment. God has used each and every thing in my life to create the person I am today. With God's help, I have slowly morphed into who I am today. We all have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves after tragedy. I am so much more than a victim-I am a Child of the One True King.
"The Father has loved us so much that we are called Children of God.
And we really are His children."
I John 3:1
Reflecting upon the abandonment of my past, I have come to acknowledge, I too have abandoned the One I love. Not flagrantly, not purposefully, but still I have at times abandoned God. My abandonment did not come from anger or intent, but instead a casual slow turning without even realizing it had happened. I confess to abandoning God in the good times. Those times when I felt like I had it all together, and life was running smooth. Those times when I was not desperate for rescue, drowning in sorrow, or buried under a pile of trouble. I did not even realize I have made that slow turn to self. The busy world has sucked me in and I was in a full run trying to keep my head above the waters of commitments. I have without intent slipped into the quicksand of abandonment through neglect. Neglect of time spent in one on one communication with the Great God of the Universe. Though it was never my intent to abandon God, my failure to acknowledge Him consistently was a sure sign of inadvertent abandonment through neglect.
Lord, Forgive Me and Thank You that even in my abandonment You are present. Help me to remember Who You are and seek You continually.
"Therefore, return to your God,
observe kindness and justice.
And wait for your God continually."