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Yesterday's post on climbing fences, led to my friend and shady path owner, Jackie offering me a key to the gate. I laughed and told her the story would not be nearly as funny if I had a key. Thank you, Jimmie & Jackie for allowing me access to your shady path and the key offer. I enjoy getting a laugh from you, dear readers, and I do not for once second mind the laugh coming at my expense. I do ask that you refrain from trying to catch me climbing that fence with Hero in hand for a photo. That is taking it a little too far.
NOW for the topic of the day~
We have a couple of counselors who alternate meeting with the ladies at
once a week. They are focusing our sessions on dealing with relationships. In case you did not realize it, relationships can be
SO STICKY, you might believe you have stepped into quick sand or stuck your foot in a cauldron of hot tar. No matter how you try, you cannot seem to pull yourself away from the mess you have waded off into. Last week we talked about boundaries and how to handle those who insist upon crossing them. A great example, but simple one was given by one of the ladies concerning someone standing WAY TOO CLOSE in a line in a public forum (grocery store). This is NOT a good idea during a pandemic. Getting the space intruder to back up without seeming to attack them is sticky business. It requires finesse and tact to disarm a potentially explosive situation.
I began to think about the giraffes in the book I just finished West With Giraffes. Those giraffes have such sweet faces with doe eyes which seem to welcome you into their space. BIG MISTAKE! if you get too close to those lethal weapons of LONG & STRONG LEGS! The giraffes will lash out and literally kick you into tomorrow if you cross the boundary and get too close. You DO NOT want a giraffe kicking you!
The giraffe has generations of being taught to be on the lookout for lions. A giraffe will make a good meal for a pride of lions. Giraffes instinctively are fearful and suspicious of lions. They are constantly on the lookout for a sneak attack as the lions nip at their legs trying to take them down. A giraffe does not know if you are a friend or lion when you approach them. For the sake of their safety, they immediately lash out with those dangerous kicks once you get too close and cross the boundary of their safe zone until they are convinced you mean no harm. By then it could be too late, the damage is done. It took establishing trust with the giraffes for them to no longer feel threatened by the keepers in the book.
If you watch nature long enough,
it will turn ugly.
WHERE could I possibly be going with this? Unless you are going on an African safari or plan to take a job as a giraffe keeper at the zoo, what in the world can you do with this information?
There are giraffes all around us in the shape of our fellow humans. Based upon past experiences, the person in front of you may think you are a lion who is going to attack and try to take them down. Their defenses go up automatically and they lash out without even knowing if you are friend or a lion. No one wants to be hurt or harmed, so we learn to be defensive in our responses to others. Defensiveness often takes on the face of offensiveness--the attacker. It is a sad commentary on the world, BUT it also is a learning tool for our response to those prickly pears in life. I always wonder where the attack is coming from when I feel those legs lashing out at me. Why? is always in the back of my mind. There is almost always more to a situation than what meets the eye. SO the lesson to be learned is how to establish and enforce boundaries without it feeling threatening to others. Important life lessons are being taught at The Well. Never too late to learn something new!
" My dear brothers and sisters,
take note of this:
Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak,
and slow to become angry,
because human anger does not produce
the righteousness that God desires."
James 1:19-20
Yes, we never know what others are going through, especially when their behavior is something we least expect. We simply have to step back and not take offense if someone thinks we've crossed their boundaries. That's a great lesson to take to heart, Lulu.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
I learn more from the ladies than I ever impart!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Wise words! I found this to be true with my kiddos at school too .....
ReplyDeleteThere is no age limit on needing boundaries!
DeleteBlessings!